Discussion Life Partner

[JustAboutDone]

or partner for part of your life.

Am curious, as so many people on here - mostly males it seems - say they cannot have a relationship as they are unattractive so I wondered what THREE qualities are MOST important to people in choosing a prospective partner.

 

[stellabelle]

Personality
Sense of humor
Stability

 

[JustAboutDone]

Mine are:

1) Good temperament eg not shouty

2) Must have your own interests, so be independent - I don't like being followed round all day :-)

3) Not hideously untidy

 

[Kyrok]

Honest, Intelligent, compassionate... probably then, attractive.

 

[ReadyasEver]

I have a life partner for 28 years, married 26. The attributes I always looked for:

1.) Kind
2.) Honest
3.) Sincere

I've been pretty lucky with all three of those.

 

[lost illusions]

True and honest to they are, good or bad

Always trying to improve, not only themselves but what's around them- this isn't about self image but more of an inter drive

Anti popular opinion or atleast not driven by it

 

[Whatshername]

or partner for part of your life.

Am curious, as so many people on here - mostly males it seems - say they cannot have a relationship as they are unattractive so I wondered what THREE qualities are MOST important to people in choosing a prospective partner.

I bet you a 100 bucks that most people who consider themselves ugly, are not. They feel like that in big part thanks to the shallow, shitty standards that all forms of media is drilling into our heads. A lot of people have zero self worth and confidence because of it.

I consider kindness, intelligence and a sense of humor ten times more important than looks. If there is a spark between us, I will find that person attractive regardless of what others think.

I've been there. Once upon a time I was considered very attractive and I had a few partners who, according to some, "weren't up to standard." "What are you doing with that guy, you could do so much better" and similar shallow comments. Well, fuck them.

 

[Kyrok]

I suspect men place attractiveness higher on their scale than women do.
That doesn't mean it is in the top 3 or 5 for all men, but I bet it is for many, if not most.

 

[Whatshername]

I suspect men place attractiveness higher on their scale than women do.
That doesn't mean it is in the top 3 or 5 for all men, but I bet it is for many, if not most.

I agree, but OP specifically mentioned males who find themselves unworthy, hence my post. Confidence, (not to be confused with entitlement and arrogance) would help many. Men and women alike.

 

[Kyrok]

I took the question "what most people..." to be gender (and orientation) neutral.

Personally, I find lack of confidence endearing, though that may be a more common sentiment for men towards women than vice-versa.

There's something beautiful in two insecure people finding strength in one another.

 

[Whatshername]

I took the question "what most people..." to be gender (and orientation) neutral.

Personally, I find lack of confidence endearing, though that may be a more common sentiment for men towards women than vice-versa.

There's something beautiful in two insecure people finding strength in one another.

You're right, I went from neutral to male, I should have been more precise. A bit of language barrier :)

I personally can find a bit of shyness and insecurity endearing too in some cases, but I doubt people at large think that way, specially when it comes to men. And said insecurity is also responsible for many people to isolate themselves and give up on relationships and life.

 

[Kyrok]

Insecurity can often be a barrier to risk, including seeking and maintaining (healthy) relationships.

 

[21Neberg]

Ofcourse we'd all like a beautiful partner, but that's not what I need. If I had to choose three traits, I'd choose:
-tolerance towards mental health issues
-sticks by my side
-always 100% honest

I guess these three traits make a lot of sense for me since they're all somehow related to the great anxiety I feel in a relationship. I'm always afraid she'll leave me, she doesn't love me anymore etc etc...

 

[lost illusions]

You're right, I went from neutral to male, I should have been more precise. A bit of language barrier :)

I personally can find a bit of shyness and insecurity endearing too in some cases, but I doubt people at large think that way, specially when it comes to men. And said insecurity is also responsible for many people to isolate themselves and give up on relationships and life.

I agree for the most part. However, isolation can be self imposed but can be socially demanded as well

 

[lost illusions]

Hell breathing and talkative is fine for me

 

[journeytotheend]

I've fallen for or had a crush on very different women in the past. From skinny to very curvy, very social to introvert, etc.. But they have all been kind, honest and intelligent.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Honest, Intelligent, compassionate... probably then, attractive.

Hahaaaa!!!!!

 

[JustAboutDone]

Hell breathing and talkative is fine for me

Awwwww :-)

 

[JustAboutDone]

Why do men never want a woman who's a bit dim :-(

 

[lost illusions]

Hey, I haven't had much to choose from so I can't be picky

 

[Whatshername]

Why do men never want a woman who's a bit dim :-(

If you're trying to imply that YOU are dim, just stop it or I'll hop on a plane and kick your butt.

 

[lost illusions]

Why do men never want a woman who's a bit dim :-(

Bullshit

 

[lost illusions]

If you're trying to imply that YOU are dim, just stop it or I'll hop on a plane and kick your butt.

I second that

 

[stellabelle]

Why do men never want a woman who's a bit dim :-(

That's not true, @Aesthler likes me well enough ;]

 

[JustAboutDone]

Bullshit

It's true! They all want highly intelligent women who can talk politics and make soufflé :-)

 

[lost illusions]

It's true! They all want highly intelligent women who can talk politics and make soufflé :-)

Not all want that. I don't mind dim, I don't go blind that way

 

[lost illusions]

It's true! They all want highly intelligent women who can talk politics and make soufflé :-)

What is souffie?

 

[JustAboutDone]

That's not true, @Aesthler likes me well enough ;]

He

What is souffie?

Like a puffed up cheese omelette thing made with egg whites. I tried making it once :-( it collapsed and burnt

 

[lost illusions]

He


Like a puffed up cheese omelette thing made with egg whites. I tried making it once :-( it collapsed and burnt

Why not just enjoy a regular omelette, or maybe enjoy anything home cooked or attempted. Whats wrong with people, too picky these days

 

[JustAboutDone]

Why not just enjoy a regular omelette, or maybe enjoy anything home cooked or attempted. Whats wrong with people, too picky these days

Couldn't agree more. I realised very quickly that Michelin Star cooking was never going to be my thing! I'm sticking to toast