Venting Life is so horrible

[Bot]

The longer i live the worse it gets, its just mental pain and exhaustion. I lost all interests in friends and people. I don't have any friends anyway, except of some random strangers on the internet. I live like this since so long now, its just too painful thinking about how it was back then and i get suicidal. I don't know any place where i could post this except here. I am suicidal on off but the last days were just too much for me to handle.
I wish i could get out of this despair, get a girlfriend, have a job and be stable. Ive become a hermit but there is no other way for me, i am just too depressed, its impossible to maintain anything because i either push people away or i just dontbhave any interest anymore.
I don't know why I'm even writing this, it wont change anything anyway, i feel pathetic and already dead:(

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, it is a hopeless feeling when everything keeps on getting worse. I feel like I have already died as well. I wish I was never born in the first place, we were all perfectly fine not existing until we were forced to live. I'm sorry you are suffering. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[eleanorhere]

I know the exact feeling, same here. Hugs to you

 

[Bot]

Thank you @FuneralCry & @eleanorhere .

 

[chocolatebar]

I can relate so much... I live like that for most of my life, only holding a little more because part of me believed that things would be better in the future. I've been trying so hard to change my life and now, that things are slightly starting to change, I realize it's as empty and purposeless as the way I lived all that time

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Yup when all desire is lost, and our projector lens/view/perception of the world is destroyed or turned negative we lose all drive and desire.

human is programmed from birth "life is beautiful" it's why we all feel so amazing in childhood then we either are nurtured to develop or nurtured for destruction. I'm sorry life has been cruel and you see this as your own option out I hope you find peace no matter your choice

 

[whywere]

Hi! You are NOT EVER pathetic. You are a kind and loving soul. How is that? Well first off, I reread your post a lot and I cam away with the feeling of kindness and love and hope.

I am your friend 100%, and I care about you a lot. We are alike as I got laid off after 29.5 years last June and I have no family or friends, except the fine folks on SS, and I am looking for a position and I have no girlfriend BUT I have SS and the knowledge after all these years that maybe just maybe things will come out ok. I 100% believe in you as I have seen through the decades so many ups , downs and arounds that my head spins. But through it all somethings always makes it good.

Case in point way back in 1990, I was broke and no food nor roof over my head, nothing, took a job that was at best low pay and about 15 years later, with the same firm, I was flying around the U.S. for them.

You WILL do and be great! I have 100% faith in you, and with this aspect said, please take a step back, relax and enjoy today.

You ARE a great friend to me and I am so happy to have you as a friend.

My best to you always,

Walter

 

[Bot]

I can relate so much... I live like that for most of my life, only holding a little more because part of me believed that things would be better in the future. I've been trying so hard to change my life and now, that things are slightly starting to change, I realize it's as empty and purposeless as the way I lived all that time

I can relate to this as well, i think its valid to still hold on, maybe it will pay of, but sadly we never know and it might be pointless in the end

Yup when all desire is lost, and our projector lens/view/perception of the world is destroyed or turned negative we lose all drive and desire.

human is programmed from birth "life is beautiful" it's why we all feel so amazing in childhood then we either are nurtured to develop or nurtured for destruction. I'm sorry life has been cruel and you see this as your own option out I hope you find peace no matter your choice

Thank you, yes i can confirm all of you post, especially the" life is beautiful"
Part, till you see life unfiltered.

Hi! You are NOT EVER pathetic. You are a kind and loving soul. How is that? Well first off, I reread your post a lot and I cam away with the feeling of kindness and love and hope.

I am your friend 100%, and I care about you a lot. We are alike as I got laid off after 29.5 years last June and I have no family or friends, except the fine folks on SS, and I am looking for a position and I have no girlfriend BUT I have SS and the knowledge after all these years that maybe just maybe things will come out ok. I 100% believe in you as I have seen through the decades so many ups , downs and arounds that my head spins. But through it all somethings always makes it good.

Case in point way back in 1990, I was broke and no food nor roof over my head, nothing, took a job that was at best low pay and about 15 years later, with the same firm, I was flying around the U.S. for them.

You WILL do and be great! I have 100% faith in you, and with this aspect said, please take a step back, relax and enjoy today.

You ARE a great friend to me and I am so happy to have you as a friend.

My best to you always,

Walter

Thank you so much for your lovely post and advice, you are awesome friend, i hope you have a good day<3

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Yup when all desire is lost, and our projector lens/view/perception of the world is destroyed or turned negative we lose all drive and desire.

human is programmed from birth "life is beautiful" it's why we all feel so amazing in childhood then we either are nurtured to develop or nurtured for destruction. I'm sorry life has been cruel and you see this as your own option out I hope you find peace no matter your choice

i agree with your post. i was nurtured for destruction so life is not beautiful for me . Life is hell for me . But imo life will be hell for most just take a look at a nursing home at very old people : that's what awaits most people the hell of old age. imo life is hell anyway but add the added horror of being old and that's hell x 1000

 

[eternalmelancholy]

i agree with your post. i was nurtured for destruction so life is not beautiful for me . Life is hell for me . But imo life will be hell for most just take a look at a nursing home at very old people : that's what awaits most life is hell plus add that old age

For some people, people like us, life is hell from the moment we are born to the day we die. Free euthanasia for all who wants to die will probably never happen. But at least society should stop restricting access to information and materials that would help us set ourselves free.

 

[meetapple]

I don't know why I'm even writing this, it wont change anything anyway, i feel pathetic and already dead:(

I feel the same. How does all this posting help? How does any effort help? It seems like my fate was sealed by the time I was 6.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I feel the same. How does all this posting help? How does any effort help? It seems like my fate was sealed by the time I was 6.

Because this is the only place that we are free to talk about this without fear of judgement or forced institutionalization. It is better than bottling everything up. Although after a certain point it is probably just wasting time until we die (ctb or natural causes).