Venting Life is a monstrosity.

[Hellish Ore]

Fuck this life. Life is one big monstrosity. Everything you love either leaves you or dies. Life is the origin of all suffering. When I talk about why bad things happen to me, I always know the answer: because I was fucking born. I want something that is permanent, but life could never be permanent, no wonder we don't live forever. Our bodies probably refuse to deal with this shit and then just turn off when we hit old age. If death is the only permanent thing that I can have, then so be it.

 

[Anhaedra]

I agree with you 100% living is just absurd, nothing you do will ever mean anything and even if it did it wont last. Everyone and everything dies, and Im glad that they do. Who wants to live forever in this hell?
The other day my psych told me that "life is a gift, just live it" and this was such a big insult to my suffering I got so mad and I rarely get mad.
So yeah, dying now or suffering for decades and watch your body and mind wither away, it wouldnt matter.

 

[F@#$]

Life sucks

 

[persuasion]

Life is fucking unfair. This evening I killed this little fledgling our cat brought before our doors. It was wounded but still moved a little bit. It was alive. I saw its movements. I knew that any help would be too late. So I went into our shed and took the shovel. First I couldn't do it but then I thought fuck it, nature's gruesome. So I did it. And here I am on the computer drinking beer, being alive. This shit is fucking unfair. This image of the little thing keeps getting in my head. This is not fair. This is not logical. Nature just is. It is and we are part of it. Nothing better. Nothing worse. There is no good or bad. It just is. Nature is like that.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes it truly is and it's really the most horrific, terrible tragedy how life even exists at all, it disgusts me how humans procreate even know existence really is nothing more than meaningless suffering with no limit as to how much one can suffer all while they are just destined for nothing but to decay and die anyway. Only never existing is perfection to me, more than anything I wish I never existed at all, I only wish for non-existence as it's the permanent absence of all suffering and harm.

 

[Hellish Ore]

I agree with you 100% living is just absurd, nothing you do will ever mean anything and even if it did it wont last. Everyone and everything dies, and Im glad that they do. Who wants to live forever in this hell?
The other day my psych told me that "life is a gift, just live it" and this was such a big insult to my suffering I got so mad and I rarely get mad.
So yeah, dying now or suffering for decades and watch your body and mind wither away, it wouldnt matter.

Life is a gift? More like acid being thrown in your face—acid that makes you decay in agony. I'm sorry that you had to hear tons of BS like this.

Life is fucking unfair. This evening I killed this little fledgling our cat brought before our doors. It was wounded but still moved a little bit. It was alive. I saw its movements. I knew that any help would be too late. So I went into our shed and took the shovel. First I couldn't do it but then I thought fuck it, nature's gruesome. So I did it. And here I am on the computer drinking beer, being alive. This shit is fucking unfair. This image of the little thing keeps getting in my head. This is not fair. This is not logical. Nature just is. It is and we are part of it. Nothing better. Nothing worse. There is no good or bad. It just is. Nature is like that.

I'm sorry to hear this. Things like that can traumatise a person forever. That's why I always wanted a device for erasing memories. I just can't deal with having such images in my head.

 

[UmbraDweller]

Totally agreed, but I'm glad that this shitshow ain't permanent. Imagine being immortal and stuck here for eternity.

 

[persuasion]

Life is a gift? More like acid being thrown in your face—acid that makes you decay in agony. I'm sorry that you had to hear tons of BS like this.

I'm sorry to hear this. Things like that can traumatise a person forever. That's why I always wanted a device for erasing memories. I just can't deal with having such images in my head.

Thank you. My gf said, that I'll have to do it to release it from its suffering. And that's what I tell myself, too. She wouldn't do it though. Well, I am the man in the house, after all, so I guess it was my duty (no misogynistic intentions implicated here).
I grew up in a family where my mother - she's a good person by any means - had chickens and when 'it was the right time' one of my parents, I think my father did it back then, killed them and later on we ate them for example when christmas was. It was a very rare event though, maybe like once in 2 years, it wasn't industrial or systematic, just an occasion. To this day I don't think of that as something bad. It's just a natural process. But doing it myself yesterday was difficult. But I don't think it will traumatize me for life. There are other things that make my life already hard.