Life has finally gotten too much for me

[FireFox]

I am 25 years old and I really tried so hard to improve my life. I really wanted to be normal, happy and I really wanted to live. I can't fight anymore. I really wanted to win and overcome all these challenges in my life. This has been the worst fucking year ever.

It's so hard seeing women I grew up with having careers, getting married and doing huge things with their lives then there is me who fucked up and got fired from my first ever full time job at 25, living with my mother, never had a boyfriend and just failed to be an adult. I want to mature as a woman I don't even know how. The pure torment of the the awareness of my immaturity and failures is all too much.

I am tired of nothing going right anymore. It is one bullshit after another then another then another. I am not doing this for another 20 and 30 years. Life is not for me. I do not want to see another day, another month anymore.

I have no one to talk to because my family never listen and believe in leaving up to God, my relatives can not be trusted and enjoy seeing others fail, I have no friends, and I am just so lonely.

 

[10000DaysTooMany]

Yea its really rough when it feels never-ending. I'm more or less in the same boat as you at this point.

 

[Riu]

Ngl, just seems like every time I make an improvement and I'm happy, life decides to sock me in the face. It's almost like it enjoys seeing me get hope and crush it all over again, but I think I have myself to blame too. I just don't really know what is wrong with me.

 

[leavingsoon99]

I feel you. I'm so tired of trying to get my hopes up. Life seems to like doing that to people. It seems to set you up for 'gotcha' moments. I guess that's why I don't really get excited about coming out of a bad situation like I've just done. It feels like life just wants to hurt me worse. The only thing comforting to me is crawling into my bed in a cold, dark room and dreaming of pulling the trigger. I wish my brain would believe that it was actually hit so I can just die.

 

[FireFox]

I feel you. I'm so tired of trying to get my hopes up. Life seems to like doing that to people. It seems to set you up for 'gotcha' moments. I guess that's why I don't really get excited about coming out of a bad situation like I've just done. It feels like life just wants to hurt me worse. The only thing comforting to me is crawling into my bed in a cold, dark room and dreaming of pulling the trigger. I wish my brain would believe that it was actually hit so I can just die.

@leavingsoon99 Today I just fell on my living room floor and I looked to the ceiling all I wanted was everything to stop. Physically I feel like I am drowning at sea. Everyday I can feel myself sinking and sinking deeper.

Now I find this peace in death for life has just kept defeating me over and over again. No I fought so hard to improve my life. No I fucking tried and now want out. Life and this world is not worth it.

Yea its really rough when it feels never-ending. I'm more or less in the same boat as you at this point.

@10000DaysTooMany Thanks its so reassuring to read and know people like me exist. People say suicide is cowardly but nobody sees the depressed persons determination to fight to make things work out for the best in their lives.

I never understand to why people killed themselves but now I do. Its the mental pain and tormet becomes too much and nothing can relieve it anymore. I fought so hard over the years these crippling feelings but now the pain, tomrnet has finally overpowered me.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

Happens sooner or later, life beats you down

Unless you were born with a specifically, particular, set, mixture, combo of a bunch of different things

 

[ManchildLoser]

I am 25 years old and I really tried so hard to improve my life. I really wanted to be normal, happy and I really wanted to live. I can't fight anymore. I really wanted to win and overcome all these challenges in my life. This has been the worst fucking year ever.

It's so hard seeing women I grew up with having careers, getting married and doing huge things with their lives then there is me who fucked up and got fired from my first ever full time job at 25, living with my mother, never had a boyfriend and just failed to be an adult. I want to mature as a woman I don't even know how. The pure torment of the the awareness of my immaturity and failures is all too much.

I am tired of nothing going right anymore. It is one bullshit after another then another then another. I am not doing this for another 20 and 30 years. Life is not for me. I do not want to see another day, another month anymore.

I have no one to talk to because my family never listen and believe in leaving up to God, my relatives can not be trusted and enjoy seeing others fail, I have no friends, and I am just so lonely.

I feel like garbage all the time. I should have ctb at 25

Ngl, just seems like every time I make an improvement and I'm happy, life decides to sock me in the face. It's almost like it enjoys seeing me get hope and crush it all over again, but I think I have myself to blame too. I just don't really know what is wrong with me.

Dude it happens to me too. Like i am cursed and life is mocking me.

 

[Das Nichts]

You only ever see the outside of those "successful" people never what it costed them and how
it's really going.

Are those thing you strive for really the ones you want ?

Try not to compare yourself to others. If you wish keep trying as long as you can and don't
let society pressure into their definition of success.

 

[feder]

I'm sorry to hear that, I think the first thing u need to do is to stop judging yourself so harshly, that means not comparing urself to other people and labeling urself as inferior in ur own mind. Fuck what they think if you don't judge yourself in your mind what they think won't ever matter. I know being lonely is hard I lost all my friends and social life since covid hit it's horrible realizing ur alone. Besides your only 25 I'm sure u will still have plenty of opportunities to achieve whatever your heart desires but it won't happen by comparing urself to ppl. I don't think any human is better than another purely based on social status, those are all made up concepts, those ppl also have their own huge issues successfull ppl also kill themselves it's not about success it's about how u feel. I hope you can overcome those challenges and get better, sending hugs.

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that there could never be anything fair about existing here in this cruel world, it's very much understandable wishing to be free from all the suffering that existing brings as of course it really can be so tiring and awful feeling trapped here. But anyway I wish you the best.