bruisedtorso
Filthy rotten no good punk
- Mar 10, 2019
- 35
I was diagnosed with BPD just over a year ago, everything finally started to make sense when i was diagnosed. I had a reason for why i was always so heartbroken when people would leave me, it wasn't a normal response, it was a BPD response. I've been cheated on, raped, sexually abused as a child, manipulated, gaslit, mentally tortured, and for what? I have nothing to show for my tortured life, only pain and suffering remains. I am 22 and i have had enough pain to last me a lifetime. I did want to give myself a chance and wait til 25 to see if anything changed, but the pain of life is too much and i'm not sure that i can hold on for very much longer. Someone just put the final nail in the coffin for me, told me they weren't like the rest, but they were exactly like the rest. After this i will never be able to trust with my heart again, so what is the point of continuing? I am a hopeless romantic with a tendency to find the worst people, this is never going to work out for me. I want the happy fairytale ending that everyone else seems to get, but it seems impossible for someone with such severe BPD symptoms as myself. I've exhausted all forms of therapy, nothing has helped. I've been stockpilling medications, i hope i'll have the strength soon to take them all and die.