Life fell apart after graduating university

[FireFox]

Most people are relieved to be graduating from university for me i was absolutely terrified.

I couldnt be happy about my graduation like everyone else was. I felt like i didnt deserve to be graduating as i couldnt be excited

For the the time in my life i have no idea want to do next. I am someone who plans for everything and for the first time i dont know.

Since gradauting university 10 months ago my life fell apart and has ulimately worsened my depression.

Everyday i feel lost and purposeless. I cant sleep as i no point. I have nothing to look forward to. I am upset i didnt even meet a guy at university.

I get rejected for minimum wage jobs and i am on welfare. Underqualified for everything else.

I used my careeers service at university but it is not really helpful.

I studied law but dont want to be a lawyer. In the UK a law degree does not make you a lawyer.

At university i had a purpose, structure, people to talk to. No one in my law class talks to me even those i helped the most.

My closet university friend in my law stopped talking me after graduating

I hate being a gradaute there is so much pressure to have it all together and be a real adult
The pressure comes mainly from me

I needed to have everything perfect with a partner, job offer and clear direction

I cant cope anymore.
If was helped on how to manage a life after graduating i will not feel the need to end it all.

This is biggest reason i will kill myself

Not knowing what to do with my life is why i want to kill myself.
I am 23 and everyhing is a mess.
I fucked up so badly

 

[MephistoJustBeneath]

I'm in the exact same situation, and it just so happens that I'll (unfortunately) be turning 23 next month. I graduated from university last year, having quite stupidly pursued a degree in music, and I didn't find it to be something worth celebrating either. Music is by far one of the worst fields in existence; it's near impossible just to find freelance gigs, let alone turn it into something profitable. All I've been doing is languishing in self-pity and hoping my disability application goes through so I can at least save up enough to treat myself before I catch my bus.

 

[InTheAirTonight]

Same age as you. I wish I never graduated

 

[Soul]

@FireFox, why not go back to school and pursue something that interests you and/or will lead to a useful job? Maybe vocational training would serve you better than uni. Be a paramedic, or a pilot, or a florist.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I fucked up so badly

No you didn't. You're just at a crossroads. It happens to all of us from time to time.
You can pull yourself out of this. Take your time. There's no hurry.

 

[I_love_to_bake]

Same age. Also ctb soon. Also fucked up badly. But I didn't graduate, I just failed all my classes. Now it's time to drop out and ctb.

The law field sounds so tough. Rigorous paperwork and an old field where you have to compete with the established veterans and families for a slice of the pie.

Being fresh into law has got to be the hardest part. And don't be hard on yourself for not meeting a guy at uni. You are such a hard worker for grinding out your law degree, good men respect that kind of work ethic.

 

[Jumper Geo]

Dito same age mentally, lol I really feel sorry for people who went to uni I know people in HR and they told me how many grads they had applying for jobs and for about for every 100 people they took on 5 so it's very difficult especially as for the majority of the jobs you are over qualified for but I wouldn't give up just upload your CV to all the best job websites like Reed, CV library and Indeed and make sure you use use a simple clear short cover letter adding any skills if you have a family member with a business ask them if you can say you done some part time work with them to show you have some skills or a local shop keeper if you know any working on the till shows honesty and you can deal with the general public.

You can look at Law Firms websites they advertise jobs direct not only legal jobs other roles, apply for all and write in the cover letter you are interested in them and like the challenge the trick is to get your feet in the door you can contact law firms and ask them who is there preferred employment agency are, and then contact the employment agency and explain you talked to such and such and they recommended I contact you, it shows ability to go that extra mile and try and get temp roles, if you get a job be nice, early get involved in all the social activities it's not all about qualifications if people like you, you will become part of the team.

Once you have your foot in the door you will meet people be nice to everyone and hopefully after a while, seeing and investigating peoples roles because people like to talk about how exciting or boring there jobs are you can make up your mind up what career you want and start telling people about your qualifications and your interest in doing what they do.

It will be 100 times harder to get a job at the moment companies won't be hiring but they will be using temporary staff when until things start to recover.

Edit: You could do a short 2 week course called NEBOSH General Certificate, it's hard but Employers highly respect this qualification and it could get you a start in lots of different fields, Health and Safety, Fire Management, Facilities Management, Risk Analyst, Accident Investigation, just what you need to get your foot in the door with the Covid-19 they will be looking for people with this qualification to carry out risk assessments and you will learn about PPE etc.

Good luck.

Cheers

Geo

 

[WhatIsMyLife]

Have you thought about choosing a new career path, and head back to University? Gives you back that structure and something to work towards.

 

[RestingGirl23]

Wow, reading your post I couldn't believe how similar we think. I also joined this forum precisely because I was in the same position as you 8 months ago; about to graduate university here in the states and not knowing what I wanted to do next. I am assuming that you have a perfectionist personality right? You don't like not having plans, not having structure, not having an answer. You feel the pressure from seeing everyone else seemingly having their life together while you don't. (I realize this may sound harsh but I am not trying to be insulting in any way.)

First of all, its ok that you feel this way. Its hard transitioning from being in school your whole life to being an adult taking care of yourself. Unfortunately, schools don't prepare us much for this change. Give yourself a pat in the back for making it this far. Secondly, you haven't fucked up badly as cliched as it sounds. I know plenty of people who graduated college who did not have job offers and had to settle doing something else while they kept looking. One of my cousins asked for help finding a temp job while she looked for an engineering job. She ended up cleaning up after old ladies (as in taking care of them and cleaning their houses) for a few months and now she has a governmental job. When I found out, I did not think she was a failure for working in something else than wasn't in the field of her degree. Sometimes, it just takes time and persistence.

Thirdly, I am sorry to hear that you have a degree in a career you don't want to pursue. I am not familiar with education in the UK, but is there a possibility that you can use your degree for something else? Other people in this thread have mentioned good options for searching for jobs too. If you want a job that you can work at in the meantime while you are looking, perhaps you can omit your degree to apply? It also sounds to me that you need support from your family. You did not mentioned them at all, so I am not sure if they are an option since you mentioned being on welfare.

I am telling you these things because just like you, I needed someone to tell me these things when I felt down. I have received support from this community to look for help; I ended up going to a therapy session that although did not "fix" everything it did calm me down long enough for me to receive a long awaited internship offer. My thinking is more or less the same even now (still depressed), but I did receive an experience that may help me find a job in the future.

I won't say whether you should go off yourself because that is up to you. I am not certain that you will receive work or when you will receive it. What I will tell you is that death is certain so why not give yourself a chance to see how things will turn out? You have all the time in the world to die so why not stick it out a bit more? Have you REALLY tried ALL options available to you? I hope you will before you take the plunge.

 

[FireFox]

Same age as you. I wish I never graduated

@InTheAirTonight what did you graduate in?

Have you thought about choosing a new career path, and head back to University? Gives you back that structure and something to work towards.

@WhatIsMyLife going back to university scares me. It really does
I fear graduating again and not being able to cope.

The graduting terrifies me .

I couldnt cope the months after graduating . It was really was the end of world .

Months were spent crying.

I want to work. My lack of working history bothers me a lot and my age too
I never had a job except voluntary work

I am very insecure in never having worked

I have not found a course i like
In the UK a lot postgrad coures offered tend to be pgcse which arre teacher training . I dont want to be a teacher.
Others are social work( hell no)
Lots of thoery courses
Computer post grad courses i cant do as i need to have a computer science degree

Wow, reading your post I couldn't believe how similar we think. I also joined this forum precisely because I was in the same position as you 8 months ago; about to graduate university here in the states and not knowing what I wanted to do next. I am assuming that you have a perfectionist personality right? You don't like not having plans, not having structure, not having an answer. You feel the pressure from seeing everyone else seemingly having their life together while you don't. (I realize this may sound harsh but I am not trying to be insulting in any way.)

First of all, its ok that you feel this way. Its hard transitioning from being in school your whole life to being an adult taking care of yourself. Unfortunately, schools don't prepare us much for this change. Give yourself a pat in the back for making it this far. Secondly, you haven't fucked up badly as cliched as it sounds. I know plenty of people who graduated college who did not have job offers and had to settle doing something else while they kept looking. One of my cousins asked for help finding a temp job while she looked for an engineering job. She ended up cleaning up after old ladies (as in taking care of them and cleaning their houses) for a few months and now she has a governmental job. When I found out, I did not think she was a failure for working in something else than wasn't in the field of her degree. Sometimes, it just takes time and persistence.

Thirdly, I am sorry to hear that you have a degree in a career you don't want to pursue. I am not familiar with education in the UK, but is there a possibility that you can use your degree for something else? Other people in this thread have mentioned good options for searching for jobs too. If you want a job that you can work at in the meantime while you are looking, perhaps you can omit your degree to apply? It also sounds to me that you need support from your family. You did not mentioned them at all, so I am not sure if they are an option since you mentioned being on welfare.

I am telling you these things because just like you, I needed someone to tell me these things when I felt down. I have received support from this community to look for help; I ended up going to a therapy session that although did not "fix" everything it did calm me down long enough for me to receive a long awaited internship offer. My thinking is more or less the same even now (still depressed), but I did receive an experience that may help me find a job in the future.

I won't say whether you should go off yourself because that is up to you. I am not certain that you will receive work or when you will receive it. What I will tell you is that death is certain so why not give yourself a chance to see how things will turn out? You have all the time in the world to die so why not stick it out a bit more? Have you REALLY tried ALL options available to you? I hope you will before you take the plunge.

@RestingGirl23 thanks so much
I cant omit my degree as it leaves a 3 year gap. During my time at uni i never worked and did extracuricalr activities
I never had a job i am screwed

I dont even know where to start
I am a scared of going back to uni becauase i am scared of graduating.

Applying for jobs is so demoralising
Employers demand experience for everything . It is impossible

I really feel like i have messed it all up.
I have nothing to live for

 

[InTheAirTonight]

@FireFox I graduated in engineering, which I didn't really like. Yeah the job hunt can be demoralizing...I found a job in October but it didn't make me happier, maybe only the first couple months. I wish I can give you a big hug because I know what you're going through. I'm glad you're trying

 

[RestingGirl23]

@InTheAirTonight what did you graduate in?

@WhatIsMyLife going back to university scares me. It really does
I fear graduating again and not being able to cope.

The graduting terrifies me .

I couldnt cope the months after graduating . It was really was the end of world .

Months were spent crying.

I want to work. My lack of working history bothers me a lot and my age too
I never had a job except voluntary work

I am very insecure in never having worked

I have not found a course i like
In the UK a lot postgrad coures offered tend to be pgcse which arre teacher training . I dont want to be a teacher.
Others are social work( hell no)
Lots of thoery courses
Computer post grad courses i cant do as i need to have a computer science degree

@RestingGirl23 thanks so much
I cant omit my degree as it leaves a 3 year gap. During my time at uni i never worked and did extracuricalr activities
I never had a job i am screwed

I dont even know where to start
I am a scared of going back to uni becauase i am scared of graduating.

Applying for jobs is so demoralising
Employers demand experience for everything . It is impossible

I really feel like i have messed it all up.
I have nothing to live for

Your extracurricular activities are a form of experience. They show teamwork, leadership, problem-solving all that good stuff.. Don't write them off just because its not formal work. In interviews, talk about your experiences in these clubs. What did you do in them? Did you have a leadership roll? Were you active in them? I know in lots of jobs they do require some sort of experience, but a lot of them do understand that recent graduates don't have a lot of that.

You're not a screw up because you haven't got a job yet sweetie. Funnily enough, I mentioned to another user some time ago that felt the same way, that my friend had gotten her first job ever at the ripe age at 23. Don't think you're old enough for your first job.

And yes, I get it that job searching is harsh. Hell, I am in the same boat as you and just thinking about interviews is tiring but we all got to do it to get a job. Its fine if you're scared. Why don't you talk about it with someone you trust? A friend, a trusted teacher or someone you know that can guide you. Maybe you can do some non-profit jobs if you're not sure you want to go back to school yet.

You haven't messed up. You just hit a hard bump and need some help to get around it. I'll be around if you need it.