Venting life feels like a black hole

[luxsuircides]

i about a month ago started new meds because i had an extreme breakdown. (for context, i've been on meds for a couple of years, but about 1 year ago stopped.) i've tried a few as i've had pretty bad side effects. ever since 2 months ago i've felt completely foggy and unreal and my anxiety is crippling. life is so hard and nothing ever feels like it is going to change. i feel like i'm in a loop of extreme episodes and nothing will ever go away. at this point the only thing that brings me peace is thinking that CTB will be my way out of this.

 

[Astronica]

Are you on the same meds you were years ago? I've had the same issue where something that worked before that I had to stop no longer worked when I went back. I understand how you feel. I'm in a similar position myself.

 

[luxsuircides]

Are you on the same meds you were years ago? I've had the same issue where something that worked before that I had to stop no longer worked when I went back. I understand how you feel. I'm in a similar position myself.

i'm on a completely different med because the one before made me super manic. i struggle with depersonalization/derealization, so this has really thrown me into an all time low.

 

[Astronica]

I know how you feel. I've been dissociating a lot more recently. I wish I could do more than lend an ear, but I'm here if you want to talk more. I would say that you should definitely be aggressive in advocating for yourself with your doctor. If you're still feeling this way in a couple of weeks I would tell them you need to re-look at what you're taking. I made the mistake of not being aggressive enough when I was having issues with meds and it cost me half a year of progress.

 

[luxsuircides]

I know how you feel. I've been dissociating a lot more recently. I wish I could do more than lend an ear, but I'm here if you want to talk more. I would say that you should definitely be aggressive in advocating for yourself with your doctor. If you're still feeling this way in a couple of weeks I would tell them you need to re-look at what you're taking. I made the mistake of not being aggressive enough when I was having issues with meds and it cost me half a year of progress.

thank you so much. it will make a month this Friday with the meds i'm currently taking, so i'll keep a close eye the next couple of weeks. it's horrifying because it seems like no one around me understands and my mind is so scrambled all the time. i'm glad that i'm not alone in this, that is definitely reassuring.

 

[Astronica]

You can message me anytime you need. Idk how much help I'll be, but I'm always here to listen. Yeah, I feel scrambled a lot too. Just really disconnected from my body and humanity in general with a million different racing thoughts, or elevator music playing on repeat while I'm catatonic. I know it's hard, no one around me understands either. It sucks that they don't, but it's also comforting. Just doing what I can to make it through every day, you know? I hope that your meds work for you soon. I'll keep you and your recovery in my prayers.
I would follow you back, but I'm not sure how to be honest. Also, I saw that you're new, so welcome)

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really dreadful, it's cruel how people suffer so much in this existence but anyway best wishes.