Venting Life can't get better due to untreated ADHD

[damnatio memoriae]

I've suffered from ADHD all my life, from my primary school teachers and counsellors trying to get my parents to believe it, my cult middle school using it against me and my high school too trying to get my parents to take it seriously, it's been there all this time and it's been ignored. I've been called a liar, lazy or just told to fuck off etc. My mom won't remember telling me to fuck off and deal with it because it was just a tuesday for her.

I try and want to study properly, but I can barely read a single paper without my brain shutting off, I can't stay at one spot properly so I did terrible at school and even worse during quarantine online classes. I failed my first attemp at my uni exam. (I actually succeeded, with about 4 months of managing to "study" I did not choose to go that year because I could only get 2 years of uni and my aunt told me it wasn't worth it, so I didn't. Now I can't even do anything at all lol)

My dad is insanely verbally and emotionally abusive along with my mom, pretty much all my life has been the same, and I haven't felt happy in years. Always compared to other people no matter what I do. I'm good at computers, software etc. but my dad just talks shit behind my back about it lol. Can't enjoy anything around him. Great gaslighter too

My mom is depressed as well and is urging me to get a job so I can pay off the years of financial ruin I've caused everyone, which I will, I plan to CTB after I paid off everything I leeched off of.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's something that disgusts me how people bring life into this world just to treat the person so cruelly. Humans certainly are responsible for so much of the suffering that unfortunately exists here and it sounds really awful what you've had to endure. This world really is so incredibly cruel and there could never be anything fair about existing here.

 

[touhoufan]

i can relate :( im ashamed that i cant prevail in anything at all. i get starry eyed at the thought of finally studying and being normal but its like my brain just blocks everything out once its time to get to work. i dont know what to do in that regard. when i take exams in class its like my heart starts racing and i think about all the other million things i could be doing and i just end up running out of time. my grades are in the gutter, and has been for years now

 

[everythingblack]

I feel the exact same way. Have given up on trying to seek help or get a diagnosis. hope you have better luck.

 

[TapeMachine]

I empathize with you. I was only diagnosed with ADHD last year at 37 yrs old. I'm medicated now, but nothing seems to put much of a dent on my executive dysfunction. I was so hopeful in the beginning; but I'm growing more pessimistic as time passes and further treatment options fail me.

ADHD can be far more debilitating than most people even realize. I feel like I'm always battling my brain to focus, get tasks completed, etc.

I'm sorry that you feel so discouraged, and that you don't seem to have the support you need. There are treatment options out there, but you do have to jump through many hoops to access them (which is a lot to ask of someone with ADHD, amirite??) Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

P.S. You are not lazy. Executive dysfunction is not synonymous with laziness. Huge difference, for those who do not know :)

 

[rest in peace]

im so sorry :( <3 love to you