I for one am very reassured by your willingness to seek support and tell your story. You're doing amazing, be proud that you've taken these steps.
I do think some psychotropics might be needed but fundamentally we're in a good place, an awareness to the problems and the added bonus of an education in the field.
You don't get access to PMs until you've been a member for 24 hours but explore the site, there's endless resources for not only recovery and wellbeing but 'safe' methods, reducing the risk of injury in the event of an attempt.
So, you've been through a lot. An awful lot. But it's going to be okay, it really is. You're welcome at rock bottom, take as much time as you need here, we don't want you to come back when you do go.
Just listen to your body, rest a much as you can, stay hydrated and try to remain spirited, we're all here when you need us x