Discussion letting fate decide your death is terrifying

[encore]

maybe my brain is too rotted by suicidal ideation and my ctb plans, but i cannot fathom the idea of some people simply choosing to live their lives while not knowing how exactly they're going to die. granted, any of us could pass away before we ctb from accidents or natural causes, but the sole idea of just... not knowing or not having death plans at all is so scary to me.

perhaps this thought crossed my mind because the average person doesn't think about death nearly as much as most of us do here lol

 

[Peter Skellern]

maybe my brain is too rotted by suicidal ideation

Unfortunately, possibly. What you're describing is perfectly normal reality - the not knowing aspect.

 

[pyranha]

i don't think it's a strange thought- a lot of us here lack any control over our real life circumstances. whether this be family trouble, chronic health issues, poverty, or otherwise, most are going through things that they never got to make a choice about. suicide can feel like a form of control in difficult situations. most notably, i remember a thought that kept coming back up when i had to deal with my abusive mother every day. i kept thinking of what it would be like to end my life and blame her in the note- the control i'd get back, the truth i'd be able to make her viscerally see. how it would make it impossible for her to avoid her part in all of it. nowadays, away from her and that general situation, i still feel that suicide would give me back some form of autonomy. i'm sorry that you understand what this is like. i wish things were better for you

 

[FuneralCry]

And that is a reason as to why I see so much cruelty in how I'm denied the option to peacefully cease existing with suffering seen as to force and prolong no matter what even know it all just leads to death anyway, I'd always prefer to peacefully cease existing on my own terms to save myself from all future unnecessary suffering in this existence where I'm just waiting to not exist.