catgirl4lifes
catboygirl
- Oct 15, 2023
- 15
ive been struggling with depressive episodes and desire to just make myself nonexistent for a while. it was never a problem or something i saw as a big issue, after all i could still wake up study do whatever i needed to do talk to people and laugh enjoy shows and things i love so it didnt matter that i would sometimes want to disappear. it didnt. im in uni now and suddenly everything dropped. i dont feel happy. i still enjoy spending time with my friends but i feel us growing apart and i have less and less things in common with them. everything is out of my control even when i think i have it. i lost interest in things i loved. and i have started seriously considering committing. i dont want to. i know its wrong. i want to get better. i want to mend the relationships and friendships i ruined. i plan on going to a hospital soon for a check up, and i hope it wont get in my personal record, cause being an aspiring psychologist with a list of psychiatric conditions would be a bit counter-productive haha. lets try getting better.