catgirl4lifes

catgirl4lifes

catboygirl
Oct 15, 2023
15
ive been struggling with depressive episodes and desire to just make myself nonexistent for a while. it was never a problem or something i saw as a big issue, after all i could still wake up study do whatever i needed to do talk to people and laugh enjoy shows and things i love so it didnt matter that i would sometimes want to disappear. it didnt. im in uni now and suddenly everything dropped. i dont feel happy. i still enjoy spending time with my friends but i feel us growing apart and i have less and less things in common with them. everything is out of my control even when i think i have it. i lost interest in things i loved. and i have started seriously considering committing. i dont want to. i know its wrong. i want to get better. i want to mend the relationships and friendships i ruined. i plan on going to a hospital soon for a check up, and i hope it wont get in my personal record, cause being an aspiring psychologist with a list of psychiatric conditions would be a bit counter-productive haha. lets try getting better.
 
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carac

carac

"and if this is the end, i am glad i met you."
May 27, 2023
1,102
I would have thought that being a psychologist who has experienced first hand what is like would stand in much better stead helping people. Can't see why they would hold it against you.
 
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catgirl4lifes

catgirl4lifes

catboygirl
Oct 15, 2023
15
I would have thought that being a psychologist who has experienced first hand what is like would stand in much better stead helping people. Can't see why they would hold it against you.
in my country with some professions if you have a bad enough psychiatric record you might be forbidden from practicing them. same with having a diagnosis which is why im a bit reluctant cause if i get any neurodivirgencies on my diagnosis it might be an issue
 
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carac

carac

"and if this is the end, i am glad i met you."
May 27, 2023
1,102
in my country with some professions if you have a bad enough psychiatric record you might be forbidden from practicing them. same with having a diagnosis which is why im a bit reluctant cause if i get any neurodivirgencies on my diagnosis it might be an issue
Not sure what country you are in, I've been listening to a lot recently about how psychiatrics has been captured by Big Pharma. There is a guy called James Davies who talks a lot about the DSM and how a lot of the illnesses listed in there can just be "voted" in. He gave one example of a particular day when they were deciding whether to include a new illness and one member of the panel said "we can't possibly include that because I have those symptoms"

On a tangent, I find your username fascinating, is it to do with cats having 9 lives? Personally I have survived 5 attempts so I kind of feel like a cat with 4 lives myself.
 
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catgirl4lifes

catgirl4lifes

catboygirl
Oct 15, 2023
15
On a tangent, I find your username fascinating, is it to do with cats having 9 lives? Personally I have survived 5 attempts so I kind of feel like a cat with 4 lives myself.
its a good metaphor! but no its cause im a catgirl and i wanted to just put an s in the end haha. however i relate to cats on a personal level as ive lived my entire life side by side with cats and i sort of see myself in some of them. they are special creatures to me. (i also used to believe that my parents were werecats and transformed into giant cats at night)
Im glad you still have those 4 lives left. Hopefully neither of us lose another one ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,349
Things in life are changing, so are friends from school, Most go different ways in their lives. You may find new friends at uni. But do you like (in the best case do you love) what you are studying? Is that your choice or are your parents behind that choice? Just asking, do think there are other triggers making you suicidal, depressed and so on? Unless you change those triggers meds /therapy and the like may not really be effective. That is my personal opinion.

I hope you can find a way to recover! Best wishes!
 
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