Discussion Let's talk abut why your failed attempts failed!

[Mopey]

I see a lot of people here preface some of their posts with an allusion to how they failed in their last suicide attempt.

I assume they were fully intent on going through with it when they failed, so this usually leaves me quite worried and afraid about failing myself, "Surely", I think, "If so many other people failed, this method I thought was full proof might not be so!"

I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels this way, and failing a suicide attempt can be a terrible thing sometimes, so let's talk about it!

Why exactly was it that you failed your last attempt? What went wrong? What could you have done better?

 

[HumongousTheGod]

everyone here who survive's 9 times out of 10 is cuz of survival instinct's /:

 

[15dec]

I have five failed attempts, three ODs and two partial suspension. I failed the ODs because I was naive and underestimated how many drugs and alcohol would kill me, and I failed partial suspension because of the survival instinct

 

[interestingname]

I failed partial because I couldn't pass out, same problem with the tourniquet method.

 

[asaki]

Make sure if you're ODing to avoid medication x alcohol combinations that will cause you to throw up. pointless suffering.

 

[Xaphous]

Overdose many years ago - unresearched, not thought out, wasn't thinking clearly and didn't take enough.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

I used the wrong tablets to OD and they just made me very sick.

 

[Lunaemoth]

My first 'attempt' I was 11 and tried to starve myself to death, basically gave up and wouldn't even get out of bed somedays. But when you're that young and stupid it's just not going to work. I still count it as an attempt because i did truly want to die, I just didn't know any better. I was threatened with hospitalization and stopped, but my life was never the same and that's when I started putting on masks for my family. I don't think I've truly been happy since then.

At 14, I took an entire bottle of ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet. I threw up for two days and passed it off as the flu. It came out when I tried to run away from home at 15 that it was an attempt, and a family friend and therapist said, "well, of course it didn't work you're supposed to keep taking the pills after you throw up". I don't think he meant to say it and changed the subject, but that stuck with me. Of course, in that case I hadn't even thrown up until the next day, but still...

When I was 19 I stole my grandmother's medication bag (selfish and stupid) and took everything in it. I threw up a lot but kept stuffing pills down my throat. I woke up three days later in the hospital, spent a week in ICU and three weeks in psych. Heartbroken i didn't die then. I was so fucking close.

When I was 22/23 I started an attempt with otc od but was in the house with my baby sisters and the thought of them finding my body made me change my mind.

I've had other half-attempts mixed in there, along with a lot of self destructive behaviour, but those are the main ones... it was all youthful stupidity and crappy methods tbh.

 

[Arak]

I never made an attempt, but when I did some research earlier this years I was shocked to learn how difficult it can be to kill yourself.

 

[OkTotti]

I never made an attempt, but when I did some research earlier this years I was shocked to learn how difficult it can be to kill yourself.

Yeah, it's a bit ironic. I first joined this site to learn tips for easy ways to CTB, but it has been quite the opposite, learning it's really hard to CTB. I had no idea that survival instinct even existed before joining SS which seems the #1 reason why people can not CTB

 

[Arak]

@OkTotti ,

Survival instinct='will' to avoid death plus urge to avoid suffering.

 

[Anyara]

I tried to CTB a few weeks ago. Hence why I havent been around much.. Doubt i have been missed lol
Reason I failed was I miscalculated the amount of time it would take for me to be found.
Sadly I was found sooner than the SN could fully do its job.

 

[Alexander]

I cut my veins (a very common, famous and useless method) but the problem is that blood pressure in superficial veins is to low for loosing enough blood to die. Don't try: you will fail for sure and it's enough painful.

 

[Kdawg2018]

I tried to CTB a few weeks ago. Hence why I havent been around much.. Doubt i have been missed lol
Reason I failed was I miscalculated the amount of time it would take for me to be found.
Sadly I was found sooner than the SN could fully do its job.

What happened exactly with the SN? How did u feel? What was recovery like after being found? I hope you are ok

 

[Anyara]

It was kinda painful in a way like you have a bad stomach ache.. But I also took several heavy duty painkillers so it wasnt that bad.. Also a headache but nothing a person couldnt handle to be honest Also i can't remember how l9ng it took for me to lose consciousness.. Have been cuddling with my cat for a while and after a while I just drifted off..
Recovery was hell. I remember lots of (blue? It was a little fuzzy in my memory) Liquid getting pumped through my body and the feeling as if I was on fire inside and out.. Than it was beeing in and out of consciousness for 3 days. After that I was in hospital for a week and send off to a mental hospital.

 

[Anyara]

What happened exactly with the SN? How did u feel? What was recovery like after being found? I hope you are ok

See above i forgot to quote you

 

[Kdawg2018]

It was kinda painful in a way like you have a bad stomach ache.. But I also took several heavy duty painkillers so it wasnt that bad.. Also a headache but nothing a person couldnt handle to be honest Also i can't remember how l9ng it took for me to lose consciousness.. Have been cuddling with my cat for a while and after a while I just drifted off..
Recovery was hell. I remember lots of (blue? It was a little fuzzy in my memory) Liquid getting pumped through my body and the feeling as if I was on fire inside and out.. Than it was beeing in and out of consciousness for 3 days. After that I was in hospital for a week and send off to a mental hospital.

Holy Shit, thats intense. Im sorry you went through that. What kind of medical bills r we talking? How were you discovered early?

 

[Gainax]

It was kinda painful in a way like you have a bad stomach ache.. But I also took several heavy duty painkillers so it wasnt that bad.. Also a headache but nothing a person couldnt handle to be honest Also i can't remember how l9ng it took for me to lose consciousness.. Have been cuddling with my cat for a while and after a while I just drifted off..
Recovery was hell. I remember lots of (blue? It was a little fuzzy in my memory) Liquid getting pumped through my body and the feeling as if I was on fire inside and out.. Than it was beeing in and out of consciousness for 3 days. After that I was in hospital for a week and send off to a mental hospital.

can you give a more detailed account?
did you followed an anti emetic regime or did you take one single large dose + anti acid 1 hour before
how much sn did you take?
how long did it take for you to get found, less than 3 hours perhaps?

 

[TAW122]

I think in general it is the survival instinct (which causes people to hesitate, back out at last minute, or even half-ass their actual attempt), and of course people who didn't do their research thoroughly enough which includes preparing for unexpected events or things not going the same way as they have thought it would. This is most prevalent in methods such as OD'ing on medication.

 

[Anyara]

can you give a more detailed account?
did you followed an anti emetic regime or did you take one single large dose + anti acid 1 hour before
how much sn did you take?
how long did it take for you to get found, less than 3 hours perhaps?

I might another time. Not because i dont want to help or anything but its just hard talking about it still and a lot is gone from memory or fuzzy.

 

[Didymus]

I failed because of my thick neck

 

[Simba]

I failed twice cause first time i did my research and i decided on paracetamol and i took 30 pills... the reason my attempt didn't work is probably cause i panicked last minute.. i mean, i was puking so much and i hate puking ,i was brought to the doctor on the same day ,didn't tell him the truth and he prescribed me anti puking medicine, next day i just panicked so bad that i said what i did... was stupid of me tho cause i ended up being in hospital for 3 days and was let out and that's it.. maybe im just a coward i don't know....

Edit: oh and second time i took about 12 pills of ibrupfen and failed with really bad stomach aches... I told it was because my period that i took pain reliever..

 

[broken._.]

1st: at 9 years old I held a loaded gun to my head and pulled the trigger the gun was on lock....my defense I didn't check I was nine

2nd: at 10 yrs old I jumped out of a moving vehicle sustained three broken ribs a punctured lung and a fractured foot but nothing extremely life threatening….I went to a mental hospital for 3 weeks

3rd: At 10 yrs old I also attempted to jump off of a 25 story building my guardian grabbed my shirt as I went to jump I was sent to a mental hospital for about 2 months

4th: at 11 yrs old I took a whole bottle of ibuprofen and went in the bath tub and slit my wrist I passed out and woke up in the hospital 3 days later I talked the doctors out of going to the mental hospital

5th: at 12 years old I had two attempts one I tried full suspension but the rope wasn't strong and it broke a few mins after I lost consciousness and I also drank antifreeze and my best friend found me passed out in her bathroom and called 911

6th: At thirteen I took about 13 trazadone 29 Prozac and 49 Zoloft and then drank a lot of alcohol before going to sleep I woke up whilst getting my stomach pumped and after a few days I was sent to a mental hospital for 8 months

7th: my most recent attempt at 15, I made sure everything that could let air into my garage was shut tight and I started my sisters car and shut the doors I was drunk and unlucky for me my neighbor opened the garage door as I was feeling dizzy I told him I wasn't suicidal and he believed me this was 6 days ago

there was more smaller attempts but that's the main ones.....