Venting Let me dream today

[BPD_LE]

Today was the first possible ctb day for me. Instead I indulge in dangerous fantasy and vodka. My choice was to be sneaky and see someone I love (who doesn't love me), maybe for the last time, or avoid them completely and ctb instead. But love's a bitch and fantasy love is just a sadistic bitch. So instead of chilling in the forest with my vodka and pills, noose ready, swaying in the wind, I'm sat here, with fresh memories, in this beautiful dream world as mentally, I rapidly deteriorate. My time is soon, but not today. Let me dream this dream a bit longer.

 

[Rachel74]

If dreams are helping then dream away my lovely. If you can see her then do so. Have you ever written her a letter with how you feel?

 

[woxihuanni]

It's OK to dream while you can. The bus is not running away.

 

[Rachel74]

My dreams are fucked up at the moment when I remember them.

 

[BPD_LE]

If dreams are helping then dream away my lovely. If you can see her then do so. Have you ever written her a letter with how you feel?

No. I thought about suicide note to her but I'm worried it will upset her. I'm trying to protecting her. Do you think a goodbye note explaining things will upset her?