Method Leaving in a few hours.

[nzdarkshark]

Or I plan to anyway.
The time feels right.
I can't let the thought of family and friends and all that get to me..
..I need to kill the pain.

1.30am NZT when I sneak out with a rope. Or a belt - whichever is easier to access. I plan to start walking in a random direction - I don't care where I go.
When I find a suitable place I'll hang myself. If that doesn't work I'll wait for a car.

I don't have pills or alcohol...is there any other way to kill the lump in my chest? What should I do if my parents aren't asleep?

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

you should look for a suiteable before

you need more planning. you dont want to be found amd survive with a brain damage

 

[Miss clefable]

Hugs hope you find peace alcohol will help though but I understand you don't have access to that

 

[Miss clefable]

you should look for a suiteable before

you need more planning. you dont want to be found amd survive with a brain damage

I second this

 

[MistakesHappen]

It's difficult to fight agains your anxiety, maybe some music, think of something that would help you distract yourself.
Spend the day thinking about it (your decision about ctb), it may help you understand if it is the right decision and if it really is you will gain confidence.
Best wishes, feel free to write whenever and whatever you want, we'll be here to support you

 

[MistakesHappen]

I second this

Idem.
Impulsive suicide attempts are dangerous. Be careful

 

[Dani Paradox]

I agree with everyone else. You really should think about putting more planning into this. It is very important to ensure that you don't fail..... no one wants to end up like a vegetable.

 

[nzdarkshark]

Thanks for the advice guys.
I want to do this tonight - if I was clever I could sneak my box of Citalopram from the cupboard but I don't know how loud that would be and I don't want to alert anyone.
I've been thinking about this for most of the afternoon - and have thought about sneaking out and dying before but never planned it specifically.
Music's good - I want to go out to music.

 

[Dani Paradox]

Thanks for the advice guys.
I want to do this tonight - if I was clever I could sneak my box of Citalopram from the cupboard but I don't know how loud that would be and I don't want to alert anyone.
I've been thinking about this for most of the afternoon - and have thought about sneaking out and dying before but never planned it specifically.
Music's good - I want to go out to music.

Bear in mind the location of where you should decide to do it..... You DO NOT want to be found for 30 minutes. I'd say give it 60 to be safe. And if you are doing it outdoors, you never know the likelihood of someone just randomly happening to walk by..........

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

you dont act rational now. you need more planning. take a walk or sth and calm down

you dont want to be this guy

https://metro.co.uk/2017/10/26/mums...rved-of-oxygen-after-suicide-attempt-7028654/

 

[nzdarkshark]

Bear in mind the location of where you should decide to do it..... You DO NOT want to be found for 30 minutes. I'd say give it 60 to be safe. And if you are doing it outdoors, you never know the likelihood of someone just randomly happening to walk by..........

I'll be looking to do it between 2-3am out in the rural area. There shouldn't be much probability of anyone randomly finding me at that time of night.

 

[Dani Paradox]

you dont act rational now. you need more planning. take a walk or sth and come down

you dont want to be this guy

https://metro.co.uk/2017/10/26/mums...rved-of-oxygen-after-suicide-attempt-7028654/

Oh my god that is so fucking horrible. That terrifies me. Beyond heartbreaking. And what's up with this: "
Over the last eight months he has learned how to move his hands from an armrest to his lap, and to blink once for 'no' and twice for 'yes'. When Helen asks her son if he still wants to die, he blinks twice." What the fuck? Obviously he still wants to die. Do they really think they "saved him"? Wtf is wrong with people. This is horrible....

 

[Dani Paradox]

I'll be looking to do it between 2-3am out in the rural area. There shouldn't be much probability of anyone randomly finding me at that time of night.

I could say the same thing for rural areas near me. But there's still always that slim chance of a random hiker. It does happen. Wrong place, wrong time... If you really want to risk it rather than wait to be 100% sure then go for it..............

 

[nzdarkshark]

I could say the same thing for rural areas near me. But there's still always that slim chance of a random hiker. It does happen. Wrong place, wrong time... If you really want to risk it rather than wait to be 100% sure then go for it..............

I understand there's a slight risk I could get caught - and I guess this is a little inpulsish but I'm sick of life trying to take everything from me. I'm ready to let go.
Or as ready as I'll ever be.

 

[MEoDP]

Oh my god that is so fucking horrible. That terrifies me. Beyond heartbreaking. And what's up with this: "
Over the last eight months he has learned how to move his hands from an armrest to his lap, and to blink once for 'no' and twice for 'yes'. When Helen asks her son if he still wants to die, he blinks twice." What the fuck? Obviously he still wants to die. Do they really think they "saved him"? Wtf is wrong with people. This is horrible....

This is precisely the incident I was referring to on another thread about some parent/mother forcing her son to keep on living despite complete paralysis and zero-quality of life for her son. There is really no word out there that describes just how fucking selfish this bitch is. There's an old saying out there saying "True love means willing to set someone free." I believe this particular incident has allowed me an insight as to what that saying really means.

 

[MEoDP]

I understand there's a slight risk I could get caught - and I guess this is a little inpulsish but I'm sick of life trying to take everything from me. I'm ready to let go.
Or as ready as I'll ever be.

I and everyone else understands how you feel,but we're letting you know to take caution. The last thing all of us want is for you to accidentally end up a vegetable like that guy in the aforementioned article.

Of course,ultimately this is your choice,and we all wish you luck whatever decision you make,but please heed our words. You should wait for a better opportunity.

 

[nzdarkshark]

I and everyone else understands how you feel,but we're letting you know to take caution. The last thing all of us want is for you to accidentally end up a vegetable like that guy in the aforementioned article.

Of course,ultimately this is your choice,and we all wish you luck whatever decision you make,but please heed our words. You should wait for a better opportunity.

I don't know what would consider a better opportunity. It's dark out so not many could see me.
I'm kinda scared and I know it's dangerous but therè no other time really where I can do it.

 

[nzdarkshark]

I and everyone else understands how you feel,but we're letting you know to take caution. The last thing all of us want is for you to accidentally end up a vegetable like that guy in the aforementioned article.

Of course,ultimately this is your choice,and we all wish you luck whatever decision you make,but please heed our words. You should wait for a better opportunity.

Part of me wants to wait another day...but I know I'll need to go eventually...I don't know what to do...

 

[throwaway123]

I understand there's a slight risk I could get caught - and I guess this is a little inpulsish but I'm sick of life trying to take everything from me. I'm ready to let go.
Or as ready as I'll ever be.

I can speak from experience. I went out one time in the night to a bridge in the woods. It was pitch black. You couldn't see anything. I even had to use a flashlight. And then suddenly out of nowhere I hear steps. At first I thought it was a dog but dogs aren't that loud. I stand still not knowing what to do for a few seconds. Panic sets in and I walk away. Since then I have never been there again. Even at the most remote places in the middle of the night there might still be people around. The next time I would only go there during daylight. You never know what can happen to you.

 

[nzdarkshark]

I can speak from experience. I went out one time in the night to a bridge in the woods. It was pitch black. You couldn't see anything. I even had to use a flashlight. And then suddenly out of nowhere I hear steps. At first I thought it was a dog but dogs aren't that loud. I stand still not knowing what to do for a few seconds. Panic sets in and I walk away. Since then I have never been there again. Even at the most remote places in the middle of the night there might still be people around. The next time I would only go there during daylight. You never know what can happen to you.

You guys are right - I should plan better - make sure it will work and everything. I'll sleep on it and think it over tomorrow.

 

[FairyAlys]

you dont act rational now. you need more planning. take a walk or sth and calm down

you dont want to be this guy

https://metro.co.uk/2017/10/26/mums...rved-of-oxygen-after-suicide-attempt-7028654/

I truly don't understand this mother.
It's horrible. It's not love. It's cruel.

Thanks for posting this; it serves as a stark warning for all of us

 

[MistakesHappen]

You guys are right - I should plan better - make sure it will work and everything. I'll sleep on it and think it over tomorrow.

Good choice, sleep well

 

[Marystevenson1001]

you dont act rational now. you need more planning. take a walk or sth and calm down

you dont want to be this guy

https://metro.co.uk/2017/10/26/mums...rved-of-oxygen-after-suicide-attempt-7028654/

What an awful mother! BPD is known to be caused by unspeakable amounts of trauma in childhood so she is at fault for both his suicidal desires and then finding him and reviving him to live like that is awful!

 

[GoingSoonish]

Yet society would think that we are irrational for thinking of the mother in this way. It's a strange world.