Discussion Leaving a note you’re satisfied with?

[penitent0ne]

One of the main things keeping me from going through with a ctb attempt used to be guilt over how certain people I'm closed to would have to feel once I've gone through with it, but I've recently reached a point where that's something I'm willing to be selfish about, but I still want to leave those people with some type of closure.

For now I've decided to write specialized notes for a select few people I'm extremely close to to give them closure and reassurance, but I keep finding myself going back to edit them or add more and I'm afraid I'll never be satisfied with what I come up with, but I suppose that's the nature of stuff like this. Does anyone have any advice on what would be good to include or exclude? I know that my situation is something only I can know the answer to but I'm curious what others think.

 

[TAW122]

What would be good to include are your reasons (including your motivation and what not) as well as assurance that it is not their fault (for the people you care about and love), and also post-death instructions (whether to have a vigil, funeral, what to do with your stuff, etc.). For me, I've definitely considered having my reasons, expressing my gratitudes towards the people who have been good to me in life, as well as some confessions, and maybe a vent list to the ones who have been bad (both are optional). Mainly, if I write CTB notes, they are usually addressed to people that I'm closer with and/or find important or have some importance/impact in my life.

 

[BlueWidow]

I just wrote one general note listing all the reasons why I plan on ctb and why I think it's the best option for me. Then I wrote one other note to one specific person. The problem is then I kept going back and rewriting them and rewriting them and rewriting them. I finally just had to put them in a drawer and say, "okay they're finished".
And thanks for allowing me to use your thread to get to 1,999 posts.
Although my answer was sincere. I actually haven't looked at the letters in a couple of weeks now because I'm afraid if I get them out and start looking at them, I'm going to start rewriting them again.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

I have the same problem. Continually rewriting and revising them. I don't think you'll ever run out of things you want to change, especially if you really care about the person who is reading it.

I think bluewidow's idea is right. You just have to say they're done and put them away.

Does anyone have any advice on what would be good to include or exclude? I know that my situation is something only I can know the answer to but I'm curious what others think.

It's tough to say. Personally i'm aiming to be succinct, but meaningful. I like to tell the person that i'm so grateful and thankful to have encountered them in my life, how they've impacted me, etc. I apologize a lot, of course. maybe you want to tell people why you took this step, if they won't know why otherwise. I'm not doing too much explaining, myself, cause i don't think it is that helpful.

It's hard even choosing the people to write to, and who not to write to. that in itself is a challenge.

Good luck with it!

 

[_milo]

I too have been in the process of writing people. However, after many months I believe I've come to the best goodbyes for everyone I'm writing to. My advice is to take it slow, you have all the time to think about what to say, and there's no going back for revisions after the fact. Some may even think it would be best to take plenty of time as to give yourself enough of time to think about your decision.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Here's an idea, an exercise: write to yourself the letter you would want to receive from someone who ctb'd.