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SanguineShark

SanguineShark

I am the monster you created
Jun 23, 2023
220
So I'm extremely afraid of my last moments being full of fear, regret and panic.. I want to have a peaceful death. I have a ton of xanax as I have anxiety, I was wondering if taking a lot of it before doing ctb would calm the survival instinct down? Like at least so I don't panic last minute? I did think about taking a shit ton of it alongside sleeping pills while having a noose around my neck, causing me to be extremely out of it when I die. And also in case I fall asleep - my weight would pull the noose and make me hang myself.
 
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Mistiie

Mistiie

This is a Junly moment
Nov 10, 2023
205
Xanax would probably help curb some of the SI, but not all. You gotta remember, SI's a completely natural and human thing to have. Everyone has it! It's not easy to overcome it even if you're as suicidal as they come.

As for your title, if you're asking for the most painless way to go, definitively, I think everyone would agree in saying opiod OD, followed by N, then SN. Opiod OD is the most feasible one you're looking at followed by SN. N can only really be gotten in South America unfortunately.

Opiod ODs have the benefit of making you feel blissful as you go out. Having OD'd before, I know the feeling that you get when your breathing starts to slow, everything in your vision gets a little blurrier, a little darker...it's a very, very peaceful way to go and if anything, it actually feels good. So long as you can keep it in you, anyways - opiods might make you throw up a bit, so if you do go for them, lie face down so you go naturally from your breathing stopping and from CNS depression, not from asphyxiation, or else that might actually still hurt a lot. Regardless, you'll be high as a kite. Main downsides are that the cost is a bitch and a half, so you gotta really be into buying that fucking ticket. Another one is that if you survive, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Anyone who's survived will tell you about the itching - prepare to be covered in rashes and your skin made a raw red from the amount of scratching you'll be doing.

I don't know much about N but I've heard it's similarly as peaceful and painless, works within the hour. SN is less painless, but only mildly - burns on ingestion a little bit, like alcohol or stomach acid I suppose, and you're likely to feel your heart racing, vomit, and feel your breathing slow, but it's not a bad way to go out, plus it's cheap, hence why so many people go for it. Unfortunately purchases are being cracked down on so if you're anywhere in Europe it'll be tough to get a hold of.
 
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hi-okbye

hi-okbye

7.7.2023<3
May 5, 2023
658
xanax can diffidently help with SI, but it may not help completely, nothing may, but just trying to get most of it away is the goal.
it can be hard to obtain them sometimes (so i might recommend the xanax since you already have it), but opioids could help. in my experience, it just eases allll anxiety. it may make doing things hard though, but you can stay twards your goal. if you want to do something, it shouldn't curve your mind so you forget or something. it just might make actually doing it a lot harder. like you'll have something you'll want to do, you'll try to do it, and you might just do it completely wrong or off and wonder why it's not working because what your doing makes sense in your mind. if you take it while your noose is ready or even having your neck in the noose, you should be fine though.
xanax should work fine though, especially if it's just for hanging.
 
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Kundalini Guy

Kundalini Guy

FULLY RECOVERED
Mar 27, 2023
516
Definitely benzos mixed with opioids of some type. Sleeping pill death is also an option. Both are very peaceful, the first one you need to research and be very careful but you feel very peaceful and euphoric in your last moments before heading to sleep permanently.
 
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steppenwolf

steppenwolf

Not a student
Oct 25, 2023
135
If I was going to do it I'd want it to be quick and sure. Gunshot through the brain stem via roof of the mouth. Out before the pain can register. No panic whilst waiting for death. Maybe take a massive overdose before pulling the trigger in case the gunshot isn't fatal.

But the fact that you have extreme fear of suicide screams that it's a bad idea in your case. Obviously like anyone else still living I can't claim any experience of suicide, but I imagine that if I made the decision to do it for any reason, it would be an easy decision. No fear. No regrets. No second thoughts. No reaching out on SS. No giving away my intention to anyone. Maybe set the computer on a timer to email the emergency services after it's done, so that they can dispose of my corpse immediately rather than let it sit stewing for weeks and become a public health hazard.

I think these fears of yours would be well worth exploring, and not just for your benefit.
 
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LeperGnome

LeperGnome

Member
Nov 14, 2023
57
I plan on hanging myself, after taking benzos and alcohol to curb the SI. I've been experimenting lately with compressing the carotid arteries. It seems very peaceful to me. After a few seconds, my visions starts to white and everything fades. No feelings of suffocation. It even feels good tbh.
 
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LonelyKitten

LonelyKitten

Seeking one final escape
Aug 13, 2023
284
The benzos should definitely help you with survival instinct.

From my testing of methods, full suspension hanging feels very peaceful.
I experimented with other methods like night-night, partial, tourniquet, preparing for taking a scalpel to an artery (for exsanguination), and gearing up to jump.
They all invoked a really strong survival instinct in me, with the worst being the scalpel.

Benzos were helpful with managing to pull thru with actually attempting night-night/tourniquet, but it's hard to get it just right.
I tried night-night and tourniquet under very panicked conditions where I wanted to ctb asap, but still couldn't do it.
Without benzo, the fear of failing with brain damage is generally too much for me on that one & partial, tourniquet.
Scalpel is just fear incarnate. Fear of nerve damage, reduced motor function, massive scarring, infection, etc.

I haven't made another attempt so far, and I have upgraded versions of night-night partial and tourniquet now, as well as SN, but my money is still on full suspension hanging from what I've seen.
Doesn't invoke survival instinct (for me, even without benzo), low chance of failure with a solid set-up, should be quick and painless due to passing out quickly from carotid compression.
I even find the rope to be straight up comfortable around my neck, to be honest... (it's cotton)
 
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SanguineShark

SanguineShark

I am the monster you created
Jun 23, 2023
220
Xanax would probably help curb some of the SI, but not all. You gotta remember, SI's a completely natural and human thing to have. Everyone has it! It's not easy to overcome it even if you're as suicidal as they come.
Yeahh I know, I hate that fact bc I really with I could just kms right now
As for your title, if you're asking for the most painless way to go
I meant it more as one that would produce least anxiety and time for regret. If you decide to jump, there's time before you actually die, and you'd have time to get extremely scared of death and filled with regret as you last moment. I'm guessing hanging would be similar. Dying in your sleep or via a gun doesn't have that excess time for negative emotions and SI.
Definitely benzos mixed with opioids of some type. Sleeping pill death is also an option. Both are very peaceful, the first one you need to research and be very careful but you feel very peaceful and euphoric in your last moments before heading to sleep permanently.
Overdose of depressant substances (opioids, alcohol, antidepressants, xanax etc.) is one of my dreams, just drifting away to sleep with 0 anxiety, as these substances just make it disappear. I heard it's very hard to overdose with these though, and I really don't want to survive my first attempt when I do it.
I plan on hanging myself, after taking benzos and alcohol to curb the SI. I've been experimenting lately with compressing the carotid arteries. It seems very peaceful to me. After a few seconds, my visions starts to white and everything fades. No feelings of suffocation. It even feels good tbh.
I gotta agree how nice it is, I once had a friend use a professional self-defense move on me by my request, where I almost fainted in span of a few seconds. I loved it.
The benzos should definitely help you with survival instinct.

From my testing of methods, full suspension hanging feels very peaceful.
I experimented with other methods like night-night, partial, tourniquet, preparing for taking a scalpel to an artery (for exsanguination), and gearing up to jump.
They all invoked a really strong survival instinct in me, with the worst being the scalpel.

Benzos were helpful with managing to pull thru with actually attempting night-night/tourniquet, but it's hard to get it just right.
I tried night-night and tourniquet under very panicked conditions where I wanted to ctb asap, but still couldn't do it.
Without benzo, the fear of failing with brain damage is generally too much for me on that one & partial, tourniquet.
Scalpel is just fear incarnate. Fear of nerve damage, reduced motor function, massive scarring, infection, etc.

I haven't made another attempt so far, and I have upgraded versions of night-night partial and tourniquet now, as well as SN, but my money is still on full suspension hanging from what I've seen.
Doesn't invoke survival instinct (for me, even without benzo), low chance of failure with a solid set-up, should be quick and painless due to passing out quickly from carotid compression.
I even find the rope to be straight up comfortable around my neck, to be honest... (it's cotton)
omg you have the ruru profile pic! You have no idea how much I love that song and esp the music video <3
I might try either full suspension or partial hanging. Hanging on a tree.. ah, so nice. Thank you for the info!! I haven't tried any attempt ever, I was in the planning phase a few times and also impulsive desire to overdose on my meds, but never tried. (and good, seeing how unsuccessful they are)
 
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E

eashanm

Master
Feb 22, 2023
441
Xanax would probably help curb some of the SI, but not all. You gotta remember, SI's a completely natural and human thing to have. Everyone has it! It's not easy to overcome it even if you're as suicidal as they come.

As for your title, if you're asking for the most painless way to go, definitively, I think everyone would agree in saying opiod OD, followed by N, then SN. Opiod OD is the most feasible one you're looking at followed by SN. N can only really be gotten in South America unfortunately.

Opiod ODs have the benefit of making you feel blissful as you go out. Having OD'd before, I know the feeling that you get when your breathing starts to slow, everything in your vision gets a little blurrier, a little darker...it's a very, very peaceful way to go and if anything, it actually feels good. So long as you can keep it in you, anyways - opiods might make you throw up a bit, so if you do go for them, lie face down so you go naturally from your breathing stopping and from CNS depression, not from asphyxiation, or else that might actually still hurt a lot. Regardless, you'll be high as a kite. Main downsides are that the cost is a bitch and a half, so you gotta really be into buying that fucking ticket. Another one is that if you survive, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Anyone who's survived will tell you about the itching - prepare to be covered in rashes and your skin made a raw red from the amount of scratching you'll be doing.

I don't know much about N but I've heard it's similarly as peaceful and painless, works within the hour. SN is less painless, but only mildly - burns on ingestion a little bit, like alcohol or stomach acid I suppose, and you're likely to feel your heart racing, vomit, and feel your breathing slow, but it's not a bad way to go out, plus it's cheap, hence why so many people go for it. Unfortunately purchases are being cracked down on so if you're anywhere in Europe it'll be tough to get a hold of.

What's the advantage of OD on opioid before taking N?
 
Mistiie

Mistiie

This is a Junly moment
Nov 10, 2023
205
What's the advantage of OD on opioid before taking N?
Oh no, I meant that as in order of how painless it is to go. The least is opiods because they're pretty much the opposite of painless in most scenarios. N is second place, with it being painless/you feel pretty much nothing, and SN is third if only because you face mild discomfort from it.
 
Sunshine

Sunshine

Student
Jan 11, 2019
166
Oh no, I meant that as in order of how painless it is to go. The least is opiods because they're pretty much the opposite of painless in most scenarios. N is second place, with it being painless/you feel pretty much nothing, and SN is third if only because you face mild discomfort from it.

Opiods are the opposite of painless?
 

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