Archness
Defective Personel
- Jan 20, 2023
- 472
It's almost as if I'm illiterate, I just don't want to read, write, or think at all. I've considered attempting to become a machinist but it seems as if even then I'd be a "Failure", relegated to just work until I drop. To be fair, that's not so bad, as I'm in the US and thus would still be relatively comfy... even in a cramp-ass apartment huddling to a screen to rly live online.
Even with a job and being an asset to society, ultimately, no one cares still, and you'll still just live to go right back home, keep yourself alive, and all just to pass the time. I considered jobs even lower then a manufacturer but my family kept telling me to aim for something "better".
But after going through an internship, while I understand you kinda HAVE to work to survive, both in nature and society, It's clear that I WILL just live the life I'm already am, just worse : I'll work but for crappier living conditions then I have being a dependent, no friends, and life will not move forward for me.
The only reason I considered trying even this much is because I had the faint hope I was wrong. But now??? FUCK man, I was right, it WILL be a PERMANENT downgrade from my current position, everything IS just downhill! All they can do is deny, gaslight, and shame me!
I outright have no choice but to either work a basic job for the bare minimum to live or just lay down and DIE. And all, all, so very alone.
Even with a job and being an asset to society, ultimately, no one cares still, and you'll still just live to go right back home, keep yourself alive, and all just to pass the time. I considered jobs even lower then a manufacturer but my family kept telling me to aim for something "better".
But after going through an internship, while I understand you kinda HAVE to work to survive, both in nature and society, It's clear that I WILL just live the life I'm already am, just worse : I'll work but for crappier living conditions then I have being a dependent, no friends, and life will not move forward for me.
The only reason I considered trying even this much is because I had the faint hope I was wrong. But now??? FUCK man, I was right, it WILL be a PERMANENT downgrade from my current position, everything IS just downhill! All they can do is deny, gaslight, and shame me!
I outright have no choice but to either work a basic job for the bare minimum to live or just lay down and DIE. And all, all, so very alone.
