Law student with suicidal thoughts

[ScorpiusDragon]

I'm currently perceived as one of the top of my class. I get the feeling a lot of classmates don't like me. And the few "friends" I have, I get the feeling they are only friends with me because they know I'm a nice person who wouldn't say no if they asked to borrow my notes.
We live in a selfish world...do I really want to live the next 50 years in this world?
What's the minimum height needed for jumping? 5 floors? Any ways to overcome survival instinct?

 

[Ghost2211]

That can be a pretty stressful line of schooling and work. You don't need to let people take advantage of you to have friends, and that might actually be making you feel worse about things. Does your school help you guys with social networking like clubs or meet ups?

 

[AutoTap]

I'm currently perceived as one of the top of my class. I get the feeling a lot of classmates don't like me. And the few "friends" I have, I get the feeling they are only friends with me because they know I'm a nice person who wouldn't say no if they asked to borrow my notes.
We live in a selfish world...do I really want to live the next 50 years in this world?
What's the minimum height needed for jumping? 5 floors? Any ways to overcome survival instinct?

I do not mean to be rude or sound judging. But if the only reason you want to ctb is because people are selfish and people don't like you. You shouldn't ctb.

Maybe the stress of school is getting to you? Law school is very impressive and stressful.

What's causing you to want to ctb? Have you tried therapy? Meds?

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I do not mean to be rude or sound judging. But if the only reason you want to ctb is because people are selfish and people don't like you. You shouldn't ctb.

Maybe the stress of school is getting to you? Law school is very impressive and stressful.

What's causing you to want to ctb? Have you tried therapy? Meds?

it's not just law school. It's also the knowledge of knowing this is the type of environment I'll be living with after graduation.
It's a dog-eat-dog world.

 

[ovaltinee99]

I'm sorry about your situation. Maybe it's time to reconsider other possible careers? Perhaps you can talk to lawyers you admire and see what they have to say? Maybe you just also need some time off to breathe? Sounds like you are intelligent - whatever you choose, there will be options for you that won't necessarily result in ctb.

 

[AutoTap]

it's not just law school. It's also the knowledge of knowing this is the type of environment I'll be living with after graduation.
It's a dog-eat-dog world.

Have you ever heard of the YouTuber healthygamer? It's by a psychologist and lots of his topics revolve around stuff like this and might be worth checking out.

I'm not pro life or trying to gatekeeper you. It's just feels wrong.

I wish you the best.

 

[peacechoice]

it's not just law school. It's also the knowledge of knowing this is the type of environment I'll be living with after graduation.
It's a dog-eat-dog world.

Ohh absolutely I understand you. You were just stating some of the more superficial reasons for CTBing. If people ask me why I want that, I'll just say It's because I'm a alone and in pain, but actually the cause is much much deeper than that. It more because you realize how shitty the people Around
you are and you can't really comprehend all this bullshit that happens in the world. How freaking unsympathetic people are in the world. How no one actually cares about anyone but themselves. It's something bigger than you. It's more philosophical everything.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

Ohh absolutely I understand you. You were just stating some of the more superficial reasons for CTBing. If people ask me why I want that, I'll just say It's because I'm a alone and in pain, but actually the cause is much much deeper than that. It more because you realize how shitty the people Around
you are and you can't really comprehend all this bullshit that happens in the world. How freaking unsympathetic people are in the world. How no one actually cares about anyone but themselves. It's something bigger than you. It's more philosophical everything.

you hit the nail on the head

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Being in law school, you're in an extremely cut throat environment that tends to attract plenty of sociopaths and individuals who are otherwise only in it for themselves. You're potentially unliked because you are at the top of your class.

I would take it with a grain of salt any "friends" that you make in law school and would lower my expectations as to what these people can offer you. I definitely would not allow any major decisions to be impacted through interactions with your fellow law students.

If it weren't for Covid, I would suggest studying in the liberal arts library if you are at a major university. Additionally, I would suggest attending weekly poetry readings or some similar artistic endeavor to expose yourself to a different caliber of individual.

 

[Weather]

Hey. As a fellow law school survivor, yeah, it's pretty much the worst. Most of the other students there (if you're at a more highly ranked law school) are entitled, 20-somethings who plan to work at their dad's law firm and the competitive nature is pretty much designed to ruin mental health. Is it any wonder alcoholism and drug abuse are so high in the profession? -- it starts in law school.

But, having a JD can open doors for you outside of traditional legal practice in government, academia, etc. Few of my law school friends practice at traditional firms anymore. If you're at the top of your class, you could perhaps leverage a good clerkship into something more permanent with the right court. And the type of law you practice can make a difference, as well as choosing to work at a small to mid-sized firm instead of a big firm. All of this can help remove you from the types of people I suspect you dislike at law school.

Also, you can choose to just walk away from it all and do something else. It's nice to have a legal education (eventually) whether you use it or not. You're under no obligation to devote yourself to the law forever.

 

[I’vehadenough]

I'm currently perceived as one of the top of my class. I get the feeling a lot of classmates don't like me. And the few "friends" I have, I get the feeling they are only friends with me because they know I'm a nice person who wouldn't say no if they asked to borrow my notes.
We live in a selfish world...do I really want to live the next 50 years in this world?
What's the minimum height needed for jumping? 5 floors? Any ways to overcome survival instinct?

Don't die because of them. Just start being an asshole and get new friends. Same happened to me, I ditched the users and found real peeps

 

[foxdie]

I've been listening to the ALAB Series podcast recently, I do not envy you friend. That world sounds tough and disillusioning.

 

[Pookie]

You're in the wrong circumstances/surrounded by assholes. This is not a good reason to ctb because your situation can change. I hope things improve for you.

 

[AutoTap]

You're in the wrong circumstances/surrounded by assholes. This is not a good reason to ctb because your situation can change. I hope things improve for you.

This is what I was trying to say as well. I am slightly jealous as I'll never be able to get rid of my many disorders. I wish you the best OP you have so much potential and your strong I can tell. <3