Discussion Last resort method

[Lavander 230]

Have any of you thought of a last resort method that have actually helped you cope with your life? I don't want to waste your time or to make my story sound boring so I'll explain it shortly...

I was suicidal since I was 12. A classmate told me that eating tons of salt will kill me instantly (it's a lie, ignore it).
but when he said it, I felt like I had freedom. I felt happy, joyful, I didn't feel any major sense of depression at this point.
Now that I learned about the SN method... Even though I still have major chronic pain preventing me to do my daily activities, just holding a plastic bottle of SN gives me some some of happiness, some kind of relief, making me feel that in the worst case scenario I can use it and get over it. Anyways, my question is, do any of you have a similar feeling as I do?

When I'm all alone I have such a huge mental depression, but whenever I have my hands on SN, I suddenly feel relieved, it honestly feels like I'm in a video game and this thing is the only thing that can help me exit the game otherwise I'm stuck in it forever.

 

[jodes2]

Having my SN makes me feel more comfortable

 

[Lavander 230]

Having my SN makes me feel more comfortable

Honestly without it, I feel like I'm trapped, like I'm in a prison or something. Where do you keep it so no one can find out?

 

[jodes2]

Honestly without it, I feel like I'm trapped, like I'm in a prison or something. Where do you keep it so no one can find out?

Everyone knows it's just sitting in the shed. I haven't had to hide it. I told them I'm not gonna take it

 

[Kattt]

This is pretty much a universal phenomenon. Having access to your assured exit plan gives you the strength to cope in a way you otherwise would not. I felt exactly the same having my N.
In a video about Exit International, they showed the patient files (no details...just organised by colour). They explained that a significant majority who have paid for and pre-arranged the full service, never actually use it. Just knowing it is there is enough for them to cope.

 

[HopelessAngel]

I can relate to this. I grew up in a family that owned guns and as a suicidal teen/young adult, just knowing that I had a way out I could take at any time if things got too bad was morbidly reassuring to me.

Now that I'm on my own, I've lost access to that option, which is admittedly very distressing. Though in hindsight, I don't think I'd want to go out that way. It's too sudden, too violent for me. I want to drift away peacefully. Still working on finding my new "last resort" method, though.

 

[PoorlyTinted]

ever since ive known how easily i can abandon this place with sn has made me feel a lot more comfortable. it gives me peace knowing that i can leave anytime

 

[SleepWell]

I'm in the process of trying to obtain some SN, I feel like just having the knowledge that I have an exit plan and it being near to me holds some sort of comfort and control that I'm desperately lacking.