nux_walpurgis
Me, my whispers and a broken God
- Oct 18, 2023
- 128
It was an anxious dream. A nightmare. I was trying to get away from my mother's abuse by cbt, I was desperately trying to hang myself or attempt the night night method. And she wouldn't even let me do that. She mocked me and my feelings and my attempts, she always managed to sabotage me. I woke up before finding relief, but I cannot forget the intense longing for death I felt in that dream.
I know it was just a dream but it made me feel less afraid of death. It made me want it more. I just want to go back home (i live with my parents at the moment) and order my drugs and bask in the knowledge and security that I have the means and control to end it all whenever I want.
I know it was just a dream but it made me feel less afraid of death. It made me want it more. I just want to go back home (i live with my parents at the moment) and order my drugs and bask in the knowledge and security that I have the means and control to end it all whenever I want.