Venting Lack of physical contact

[plasticbomb]

I've gotten so use to not having anyone touch me physically for so long recently. When I was around 16-18 I was constantly in relationships but that slowly died off when I turned around 21. After then I just go through periods of time where I'm not touched by anyone at all. I talked to an old coworker about it once and she said it was pretty insane. From what it seems like I might be desensitized to it? It feels like a double edged sword most of the time. I miss people touching me 100% but at the same time I hate them immensely for not showing me any love. I can be an off putting and intimidating person so I think that's why people don't do it. Back when I was less threatening looking people use to give me hugs or pat me on the back in a kind way. Unless I'm in a thing or hooking up (very very rare) with someone then I routinely go 3-9 months without anyone touching me at all. I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of people not showing me unconditional love. I don't feel like I'm owed this at all but I've lost all but a trace of hope for humanity in showing compassion to me. Some people hate physical contact, some people hate love, but I guess I am just different since I constantly have the feeling that all I need is a hug. Yet with how everyone treats me I'll never be able to experience that without directly asking or begging someone.

 

[pinemarten]

It definitely feels like something a lot of people take for granted. Like for someone in a relationship or with a family, the idea of going months or years without a warm embrace is just a thought exercise rather than a mindset they can put themselves in as needed. I often wonder if that feeling is entirely lost in translation when speaking to, say, a mental health professional or a normal person; like does this person understand the mental toll of not having been embraced or touched in years?

I get what you mean about feeling desensitised to it. If that's what we experience all the time then it's bound to feel 'normal' after a while. But what's struck me in the past is that even when it has been years since I've had a connection or a moment with someone, if it does then suddenly happen after all that time I can still feel my body and mind light up instantly. I don't think the body ever forgets how to let you appreciate the touch of another person (except for those with PTSD and stuff I guess) when the time finally comes around again. Hopefully you can get back to that feeling someday and have it be a regular thing :)

 

[Unattainable666]

I've gotten so use to not having anyone touch me physically for so long recently. When I was around 16-18 I was constantly in relationships but that slowly died off when I turned around 21. After then I just go through periods of time where I'm not touched by anyone at all. I talked to an old coworker about it once and she said it was pretty insane. From what it seems like I might be desensitized to it? It feels like a double edged sword most of the time. I miss people touching me 100% but at the same time I hate them immensely for not showing me any love. I can be an off putting and intimidating person so I think that's why people don't do it. Back when I was less threatening looking people use to give me hugs or pat me on the back in a kind way. Unless I'm in a thing or hooking up (very very rare) with someone then I routinely go 3-9 months without anyone touching me at all. I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of people not showing me unconditional love. I don't feel like I'm owed this at all but I've lost all but a trace of hope for humanity in showing compassion to me. Some people hate physical contact, some people hate love, but I guess I am just different since I constantly have the feeling that all I need is a hug. Yet with how everyone treats me I'll never be able to experience that without directly asking or begging someone.

I hate to sound so negative, but unless you're in a relationship don't expect people to care about you because they won't. The world we live in is cold and heartless. Quite honestly even if you're in a relationship you may not get what you need.

 

[plasticbomb]

I hate to sound so negative, but unless you're in a relationship don't expect people to care about you because they won't. The world we live in is cold and heartless. Quite honestly even if you're in a relationship you may not get what you need.

I wouldn't say that's sounding negative but it wasn't what I was going for honestly. I was sorta saying that even now after losing hope with people it's still shocking the lack of empathy that's shown by others.

 

[Unattainable666]

I wouldn't say that's sounding negative but it wasn't what I was going for honestly. I was sorta saying that even now after losing hope with people it's still shocking the lack of empathy that's shown by others.

i apologize for misinterpreting what you were saying

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Shaking hands with my support worker once a week is it for me.

 

[plasticbomb]

Shaking hands with my support worker once a week is it for me.

Damn, I don't even have that shit right now. Last time someone touched me was my roommate accidentally touching my leg as he walked by me.