L.O.N.E.L.Y. need a bit of support

[Tegan_sky]

A vent? Or just seeing if I am alone in being so alone. 61 years old, have never been the "squeaky wheel" in all of my life, not in childhood, not in my younger years, not now. Is there anyone here who the loneliness actually makes you ache?

So I guess this really isn't so much a vent as much to ask for any support, to know I am not alone in my being all alone. Try as I might, I just can't make new friends. They either don't pick up the phone at all, or they may return one call and that's it. I was 45 in 2005, a female neighbor was 57 at the time and told me several times "It is so much harder to make friends when you're older." Man, I am finding that to be true.

A former coworker and friend just died at age 62 last week. He had a memorial I didn't find out about until after it was over. Left out...again. Will there even be anyone if I die will there even be a memorial, or none, because I have no one? Look up a potter's field in NYC called "Hart Island" and find the drone shots of them burying people there. Is this where I will end up when I die? In an unmarked, communal grave?

Sorry, just feeling really low tonight. If anyone relates or has the same situation, I would love to know I am not alone in this. Thanks for reading,.

 

[nopointofliving]

was 45 in 2005, a female neighbor was 57 at the time and told me several times "It is so much harder to make friends when you're older." Man, I am finding that to be true.

I'm in my late twenties and I realized this recently sadly
I'm very sorry for your pain. Feeling lonely is certainly awful. For me, I just think I need to cope with that. I gave up the whole idea of having someone to care or think about me. Life is really hard and it treats us in a very unfair and painful manner.

However, I'm thinking as we all are alone and we all feel lonely, why do we have to feel abandoned?? let's talk to each other and try to find some friends in here. Sending you many hugs and much love

 

[Marktheghost]

You're not alone in being all alone. I'm desperately lonely too.

 

[DisillusionedDragon]

I have never had a close mutual relationship in my entire life. Parents were abusive and even as a kid I guess I was just too weird or mature, all "friendships" were just me desperately clinging to someone trying to find someone who actually cared about me. And since in my teens I started developing my worldview that was the end of me ever having a chance of any kind of relationship, I hate almost everyone and everyone hates me. I don't even know if it aches anymore, I have so many other pains and aches, I can't tell. At some point you just accept that you'll die alone with no one caring or having ever cared about you.

 

[Joplin]

Sorry to hear this :( I am desperately lonely too but for me I feel this even around other people. Its a strong emptiness and feeling like you don't belong. Even with friends. I have moved continents recently on my own and I have made many more friends here but its still hard. Especially during this pandemic. We still have many restrictions.

Your friend is right, It can be a little bit more difficult to make friends when you are older but really that is probably just more in terms of how many people we are naturally around when we younger - at school and school functions. Then at work in our twenties we tend to go out more to bars etc. It feels like I make more genuine friends now, do you feel the same? Quality over quantity as we get older. Guess that is for the same reasons - where you are when you are older is more chosen by yourself (work and events). But its still lonely AF.

Its so tough, loneliness is a real killer. It eats you from the inside. I also feel like it aches and hurts some days. Especially first thing in the morning and in the evening. So many people experience this. You are not alone. I have no novel advice but seems you don't want that anyway, if ever they find a cure please PM me :) I will give every cent I have for that.

Sending love and light. XX

 

[Mondo]

This is my very first post, my dog is my only company. I will be lost when she goes, shes now 14.
I only see one person maybe every other week, its torture having no interaction with others.
I feel your pain.

 

[Weary Soul]

You are not alone in this. The only thing in real life that has helped me to combat this in some small way are my pets.

I have specified that I do not want a funeral, any type of memorial, or god forbid a viewing. These means of burial cannot but done here without some type of concrete vault or toxic chemicals poured into my body to preserve it, which is the norm these days. Not to mention, the costs alone associated with funeral arrangements are astronomical (at least here). Ironically, I keep getting spam on burial insurance O.O

My ultimate preference would be to be buried into the ground intact (ie, no toxic chemicals) to give back to the earth. It just seems natural to me.

However, at this point, my only option is cremation, so, when I die, I would like to be planted under a tree or thrown into a river or an ocean (two of my all time favorite places).

I hear you loud and clear and am so sorry you understand and are feeling the pain of being lonely.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Wow... I teared up a lil reading this.

I am so sorry to hear about your friend R.I.P

You are not alone in the lonliness... funny I am reading this today bc.. god it just constantly hits me these days. I'm in my early 20's. I just left all the abuse and I only had shitty friends left so left that too.

I had been trying my best to like mend that part and aspect of me. With COVID its been so painful. Like the whole message of "make sure ur checking on ur family or friends"... i have no family or friends...

Lockdown has been awful.
More time to think about how my shitty abusers isolated me... but also I just want to connect with people in person.

Today, its like im kinda up. Kinda social... i have no one to talk to tho... discord servers I join are usually kinda dead and I have high sensitivity to rejection(RSD) so its hard when no one responds....

Like im lonely and alone. The more I try to connect the more it hits im literally starting from negative... starting from ground 0.. and It's just.. hard..

It aches... Im sorry you can relate to the ache and I hope you do find connections that mends some of the lonely.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess I'm naturally introverted but I understand how these types of feelings can be hard to deal with. I am not in contact with any of the friends I used to have which is by choice honestly but I just generally feel disconnected from other people and spend lots of time stuck in my own thoughts. I just prefer my cat for company. Life really can be cruel to us, I wish you the best

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm 33 but I've realized it's become really hard to make new friends in comparison to when I was younger too.

Apart from that, I'm just not interested in having friends or a girlfriend anymore. I just want to have some fun and then disappear from this planet.

I think that if I don't ctb now, the only one who will be in my funeral it'll be my nephew. I'll just have...no one who cares about me left.

I don't mind that. I just hope not to live for many more years!

Anyway, hope you can feel better soon.

Hugs,

Matt