H

Hel

Member
Mar 30, 2019
94
I keep looking for the perfect method for me. My main concerns were made it not looking like suicide, not painful and no risk of surviving with brain damage or something. Complicted.
I know that starving and hypothermia are difficult to reach and slow but... Can some kind of combination do the trick? I mean, if I stop eating and drinkink, maybe drinkingalcohol since it dehydratates you (and I have antiemetics)...Could I low my defenses and get sick, pneumonia, for example (in my family, people with pneumonia dies)? Something irreversible...
Because it wouldn't look like like a suicide (too much) and dying in a hospital would be perfect (I'm having troubles about the place because I don't want to traumatise anyone finding my body so...). I know that this is slow and ineffective but I can't get N or SN (also, it wouldn't conceal the fact that it's suicide). I read something about insuline or poppy seeds tea, which would be acceptable options but impossible to get...
Any idea?
 
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BipolarExpat

BipolarExpat

Accomplished faker
May 30, 2019
698
98% of us would prefer something that doesn't look like suicide yet is practically guaranteed, friend.

If such a method was available, most of us would have done it or would be prepping for it now.

Sorry.

Wish it was easier.
 
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Rachel74

Rachel74

Enlightened
Sep 7, 2019
1,716
Suicide will look like suicide. There is no way to hide it.
 
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MeltingHeart

MeltingHeart

Visionary
Sep 9, 2019
2,151
I keep looking for the perfect method for me. My main concerns were made it not looking like suicide, not painful and no risk of surviving with brain damage or something. Complicted.
I know that starving and hypothermia are difficult to reach and slow but... Can some kind of combination do the trick? I mean, if I stop eating and drinkink, maybe drinkingalcohol since it dehydratates you (and I have antiemetics)...Could I low my defenses and get sick, pneumonia, for example (in my family, people with pneumonia dies)? Something irreversible...
Because it wouldn't look like like a suicide (too much) and dying in a hospital would be perfect (I'm having troubles about the place because I don't want to traumatise anyone finding my body so...). I know that this is slow and ineffective but I can't get N or SN (also, it wouldn't conceal the fact that it's suicide). I read something about insuline or poppy seeds tea, which would be acceptable options but impossible to get...
Any idea?
why dont you want it to look like suicide? so your family dont see/know? - in which case would it be better for them to know you died a slow & most likely agonising death from dehydation/ starvation- over what could be weeks- also wont they wonder why you had not been eating or drinking for all that time IF theoretically you could carry it out? - in which case they will know it is suicide anyway- they would not even be able to have a tiny bit of consolation that it might have been an impulsive act. If during this time you are found/ seen by anyone- as it would many days- you would be hospitalised-prob far to weak to refuse this and then put on a feeding tube & a drip...alive but in pain. I dont mean to be harsh- but just trying to look at what you wrote from a logical perspective- and shed some light on the harsh truths. People have posted about doing this before- have a look at some of the responses and you will gain a deeper understanding of what you are proposing to do...
 
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Kodama

Kodama

Experienced
Oct 11, 2019
209
Why not disappearing into the wild (and CTB by Hanging - Jumping into a cave etc...) Nobody will know/see what happened to you: MIA
 
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BipolarExpat

BipolarExpat

Accomplished faker
May 30, 2019
698
If your family/friends know nothing of your depression/sadness, etc. or your suicidal impulses, there are (still) not many methods that will look accidental. And none of them are particularly peaceful.
Why not disappearing into the wild (and CTB by Hanging - Jumping into a cave etc...) Nobody will know/see what happened to you: MIA

yep

i posted this elsewhere:

"Suicides (never guarantees) that might appear as accidental:

- River, lake, surf-ocean, etc. drowning.
- Hiking (backcountry) mishaps (lost, freezing, drowning, falling down a mountain)
- extreme sports accidents (paragliding, BASE jumping, scuba, parachute, etc.)
- drunk driving off a cliff (full tank of gas)
- drunk/falling in front of metro/bus/truck (very cruel to driver)
- drunk falling off a building/balcony"
 
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H

Hel

Member
Mar 30, 2019
94
why dont you want it to look like suicide? so your family dont see/know? - in which case would it be better for them to know you died a slow & most likely agonising death from dehydation/ starvation- over what could be weeks- also wont they wonder why you had not been eating or drinking for all that time IF theoretically you could carry it out? - in which case they will know it is suicide anyway- they would not even be able to have a tiny bit of consolation that it might have been an impulsive act. If during this time you are found/ seen by anyone- as it would many days- you would be hospitalised-prob far to weak to refuse this and then put on a feeding tube & a drip...alive but in pain. I dont mean to be harsh- but just trying to look at what you wrote from a logical perspective- and shed some light on the harsh truths. People have posted about doing this before- have a look at some of the responses and you will gain a deeper understanding of what you are proposing to do...

The thing is that nobody would notice because I'm currently living alone an in a different city from my friends and family, the perfect time would be now.
I don't want it to look like a suicide because I don't want people know that I killed myself. My health is weak, nothing that could kill me fast but wouldn't be super strange that something happened to me. I understand that these methods are impossible but still... I don't know what else could I do. I can't get N or SN, I'm not brave enought to jump and the CO method is impossible to me (more people live in this building, I don't have a car and nobody would buy that I went camping, even more in winter)
But I understand your point, I know you're right, but still... I'm desperate and I don't know what to do.
Why not disappearing into the wild (and CTB by Hanging - Jumping into a cave etc...) Nobody will know/see what happened to you: MIA

My friends and family wouldn't bear the MIA, even if for me would be waaay better (even in their possition, I would prefer that somebody did this than having the body to hae a "closure" but it's just me, all the people around me hate that). Also, I'm not brave enough to jump and hanging is not an option for me.
If your family/friends know nothing of your depression/sadness, etc. or your suicidal impulses, there are (still) not many methods that will look accidental. And none of them are particularly peaceful.


yep

i posted this elsewhere:

"Suicides (never guarantees) that might appear as accidental:

- River, lake, surf-ocean, etc. drowning.
- Hiking (backcountry) mishaps (lost, freezing, drowning, falling down a mountain)
- extreme sports accidents (paragliding, BASE jumping, scuba, parachute, etc.)
- drunk driving off a cliff (full tank of gas)
- drunk/falling in front of metro/bus/truck (very cruel to driver)
- drunk falling off a building/balcony"


You're right. It is impossible to make it look accidental and peaceful at the same time. But I had to try... I need it, I know that's impossible but getting the only reason which would stop me to do it is even more impossible...
 
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MeltingHeart

MeltingHeart

Visionary
Sep 9, 2019
2,151
The thing is that nobody would notice because I'm currently living alone an in a different city from my friends and family, the perfect time would be now.
I don't want it to look like a suicide because I don't want people know that I killed myself. My health is weak, nothing that could kill me fast but wouldn't be super strange that something happened to me. I understand that these methods are impossible but still... I don't know what else could I do. I can't get N or SN, I'm not brave enought to jump and the CO method is impossible to me (more people live in this building, I don't have a car and nobody would buy that I went camping, even more in winter)
But I understand your point, I know you're right, but still... I'm desperate and I don't know what to do.


My friends and family wouldn't bear the MIA, even if for me would be waaay better (even in their possition, I would prefer that somebody did this than having the body to hae a "closure" but it's just me, all the people around me hate that). Also, I'm not brave enough to jump and hanging is not an option for me.



You're right. It is impossible to make it look accidental and peaceful at the same time. But I had to try... I need it, I know that's impossible but getting the only reason which would stop me to do it is even more impossible...

I'm confused, so you want them to find/ have yr body eventually or not?
 
BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
Im pretty sure I made myself contract pneumonia after abusing toxic meds that lower my white cell count and constantly binge drinking, starving myself, sleeping too little and wearing clothes that are way too light and right now Im suffering really bad but Im not even close to dying. Im still trying to worsen it as much as I can as means of passive suicide since I cant jump but if you can get over your SI its best to choose something more foolproof






(It hurts really bad kill me)
 
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H

Hel

Member
Mar 30, 2019
94
Im pretty sure I made myself contract pneumonia after abusing toxic meds that lower my white cell count and constantly binge drinking, starving myself, sleeping too little and wearing clothes that are way too light and right now Im suffering really bad but Im not even close to dying. Im still trying to worsen it as much as I can as means of passive suicide since I cant jump but if you can get over your SI its best to choose something more foolproof






(It hurts really bad kill me)

I read your post yesterday, you are really fighting your SI.
I'm going to start starving and I turned the heat off, will wear lighter clothes and start step by steps, lowering my defenses. If in the meanwhile I can find a better way (I'd like N but it would make clear that it was suicide and also I can't get it), I'd go with it.
Why must this be so difficult? I wish I could push a button and just die. I would have done it too years ago, when I started to be suicidal, and I wouldn't have lived the last month with all the pain they brought.
 
CrushedHopes

CrushedHopes

Ex-narcissist that is looking to end himself soon
Nov 3, 2019
471
Why must this be so difficult? I wish I could push a button and just die. I would have done it too years ago, when I started to be suicidal, and I wouldn't have lived the last month with all the pain they brought.
Unfortunately, we aren't wired like that. How would you like to terminate yourself?
 
H

Hel

Member
Mar 30, 2019
94
Unfortunately, we aren't wired like that. How would you like to terminate yourself?

The most peaceful way possible and hiding the fact that it was a suicide. Impossible, I know. Also, I would prefer my organs not getting too damaged because I'm a donor (I hate thinking that there are people out there dying while thay could be happy and I can't... So I want to give my organts to somebody who really wants to live).
 
H

Hel

Member
Mar 30, 2019
94
Is there any way to make my defenses lower and my inmune system weaker? Funny thing: I used to have pretty bead health, but since I am suicidal, is better than ever. F*ck. My body almost killed me when I didn't want to die and now that I need it is healthier than ever (and no, I'm not doing anything for that).
I'm in a place where I don't have health insurance and I'm alone, is my chance. At least for making my health worse before coming home in some weeks.
I'm trying to drink less water, I barely eat and I turned the heat off and leave my hair wet. I need to destroy myinmune system but I don't know how.
 
M

Moon Flower

I'll soon be sleeping sound
Oct 14, 2019
536
Overdose can look accidental if you're already a drug user but I know some people find the stigma around drugs worse than that around suicide
 
CrushedHopes

CrushedHopes

Ex-narcissist that is looking to end himself soon
Nov 3, 2019
471
Is there any way to make my defenses lower and my inmune system weaker? Funny thing: I used to have pretty bead health, but since I am suicidal, is better than ever. F*ck. My body almost killed me when I didn't want to die and now that I need it is healthier than ever (and no, I'm not doing anything for that).
I'm in a place where I don't have health insurance and I'm alone, is my chance. At least for making my health worse before coming home in some weeks.
I'm trying to drink less water, I barely eat and I turned the heat off and leave my hair wet. I need to destroy myinmune system but I don't know how.
Honestly, it would be much better to invest in painless CTB methods instead of trying to deliberately destroy your immune system. What is your CTB method, anyway?
 
H

Hel

Member
Mar 30, 2019
94
Overdose can look accidental if you're already a drug user but I know some people find the stigma around drugs worse than that around suicide

I'm not and I'm know for rejecting drugs, so wouldn't look like accidental at all.

I even thought that, since I always have candles, trying to find a way of make the inhalation poisonous (I could make them myself) like the CO, but is just a fantasy.
Honestly, it would be much better to invest in painless CTB methods instead of trying to deliberately destroy your immune system. What is your CTB method, anyway?

The problem is that I don't have one. I don't want it to look like suicide but at the same time I want a peaceful method. And that doesn´t exist (only CO but no possibilities of doing it unless I could use a heater and they are safe now. I don't drive and I never go camping. There's no way).
 
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CrushedHopes

CrushedHopes

Ex-narcissist that is looking to end himself soon
Nov 3, 2019
471
The problem is that I don't have one. I don't want it to look like suicide but at the same time I want a peaceful method. And that doesn´t exist (only CO but no possibilities of doing it unless I could use a heater and they are safe now. I don't drive and I never go camping. There's no way).
Why would it matter when you're gonna be dead at that point? Look, dude. Deliberately "lowering" your immune system's defenses is NOT going to work. Please try to be sensible.
 
H

Hel

Member
Mar 30, 2019
94
Why would it matter when you're gonna be dead at that point? Look, dude. Deliberately "lowering" your immune system's defenses is NOT going to work. Please try to be sensible.

Or not. I am the unluckiest person so what if I fail? If people knows that it was a suicide attempt, I'll be locked in a hospital forever and live with the suicidal image, it would make me want to die even more and would be even more impossible under ward.
Also, to me is important. My reason to die is very personal but two of my closest friends could imagine why if I do exactly now (or later because this is only going to get worse and worse). I don't want people to know, I don't care if I'm dead or not. Also, as I said, what if I fail? Stigmatized forever and under the most severe control, making impossible to try again.
 
L

Longman

Student
Jan 9, 2019
115
It is impossible to make it look accidental and peaceful at the same time.
There is one "accidental" method, which is peaceful. But I didn't hear any user of this forum tried it. It is shallow water blackout (SWB) method.
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/shallow-water-blackout.4315/
SWB may be impossible for an untrained person (everybody can test his abilities without water) but an alternative was suggested:
1) Go knee-deep in the water of some water body (river/pond/sea)
2) Perform "fainting lark"
It is assumed that you fall in water and breath it while unconscious, but this method may not work because after fainting you also stop breathing.

Something irreversible...
One user induced aplastic anemia, but it is painful, and possibly may be treated.
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/last-three-months.8689/post-315440

Could I low my defenses and get sick, pneumonia, for example
I heard that you can get pneumonia if sleep overnight in a full bath (without running water of course). I think it is just an "urban legend", but there is one real case where a woman died from pneumonia after prolonged sitting in her bath: https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-arrested-abandoning-23st-partner-11682545
 
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H

Hel

Member
Mar 30, 2019
94
Thank you for all the info @Longman
The first ones are difficult to achieve (unless I could manage it to do in a bathtub).
The third...Is a possibility. Because even if I don't die, I will be sick, is a step. And pneumonia is something risky and easy to caught in my family, and every memner who got it, died.

I'm thiking in combining several methods in the tub: candles who "stole" my oxigen and raise CO, maybe a travel heater and a night in the bathtub. I have very low blood pressure, so fainting in a bathtub woudn't look super weird. If I go there being sick and I find a few more small tricks to combinate... It's extremely uncertain, but it worths a try.
The problem is that I'll have to wait until I can do that (it would be in an specific hotel and I'm not going there until January) and this means Christmas before... I loved Christmas but mine are always sad, each year worse, and this one are going to be the worst ever for several reasons. Maybe I can try to live them and leave a good memory in my family and friends and, deep inside, motivate myself thinking they're going to be the last (or not, because I've just bursted into tears right as I was typing this)
 

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