Killing yourself because life has nothing to offer to you

[deflagrat]

Do you ever feel like everything you do is boring? Do you think working only makes you a wageslave unless you make good money? Do you ever feel like society is too slow developing new scientific knowledge? Like nothing you do is interesting to you, that life is just waiting and waiting and waiting and sleeping?

Sex doesn't pleasure you as much as it used to pleasure you, food doesn't satiate you... most videogames are boring too. What's the point then? Why should I keep living? Even if I have my necessities covered, why shouldn't I kill myself? Do I need to be in pain, do I need to be suffering in order to qualify for suicide? Do I need to be homeless first? I tried sleeping, but I can't sleep more than 12 hours / day and that's not enough for me, 12 waking hours is too much for me.

Should I keep making excuses to justify living? "Oh, wait until they deny your disability benefits." "Oh no, wait until your father dies." "Wait until you don't have any money left." "Wait because you may end up rich when the house is sold!".

Sometimes I just wish life gave me a bad deal so that I would have a good excuse to kill myself. But I am not in that position yet. Should I just stare at my computer screen until I end up homeless and then ctb with the best method available? I need opinions.

 

[Boochky]

Do you ever feel like everything you do is boring? Do you think working only makes you a wageslave unless you make good money? Do you ever feel like society is too slow developing new scientific knowledge? Like nothing you do is interesting to you, that life is just waiting and waiting and waiting and sleeping?

Sex doesn't pleasure you as much as it used to pleasure you, food doesn't satiate you... most videogames are boring too. What's the point then? Why should I keep living? Even if I have my necessities covered, why shouldn't I kill myself? Do I need to be in pain, do I need to be suffering in order to qualify for suicide? Do I need to be homeless first? I tried sleeping, but I can't sleep more than 12 hours / day and that's not enough for me, 12 waking hours is too much for me.

Should I keep making excuses to justify living? "Oh, wait until they deny your disability benefits." "Oh no, wait until your father dies." "Wait until you don't have any money left." "Wait because you may end up rich when the house is sold!".

Sometimes I just wish life gave me a bad deal so that I would have a good excuse to kill myself. But I am not in that position yet. Should I just stare at my computer screen until I end up homeless and then ctb with the best method available? I need opinions.

Boy do I hear you. Even making good money, it's still a different kind of wage slavery. You have to be available 24/7 and work impossible hours with people around the world in different time zones.

If it was me, I would decide a method and prepare. I'd define my point of no return. I couldn't be homeless again.

 

[Bentley Goldman]

I think what you're basically trying to say is - what is the point of living just to exist ?

And to that question I don't know.

 

[NoEasyWayOut]

You're so right... I guess mostly everybody has been thinking about the pointlessness of life at some point in their lives... What makes us different is our answer to the question 'if life doesn't make sense, then why go on?'. Imo, once you break the internal taboo of considering suicide, your perspective changes forever.. I wished there would be a simple, easy way to go through this, as I have the same feeling about life just being boring and exhausting. Contrary to the common 'life's too short' mantra, don't you think we live just for too long?

 

[Marc]

There are people who have talked about suicide in an unbiased way like Sadhguru on YouTube and Erin Pavlina (she has a website and some interesting information on the other side).
For some people suicide is actually a good idea. What i also find interesting is that there have been animals who commited suicide.
I feel out of it right now but i hope this helps a little bit at least.

hugs

 

[Partial-Elf]

once you break the internal taboo of considering suicide, your perspective changes forever..

This is well said and definitely correct in my experience. Even if it hasn't been healthy per se, the extended contemplation of suicide has definitely been productive for me in that it's changed my outlook. And I would argue that the change has been for the better in some ways

 

[reveriewong]

Life has much to offer you.

There's friendship, love, and meaning, for instance.
If you found a purpose that was meaningful to you, you would probably have the will and desire to keep on going. I don't think it's about life providing for you; rather, it's you feeling like you have something to give (individual or communal purpose). Do you have a purpose? If not, look for one. We all need some purpose. There's at least one reason you're still here. Seek it out. If you don't think it's enough, consider what would keep you going because you do have inherent worth, and the decisions you make do matter.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

There are people who have talked about suicide in an unbiased way like Sadhguru on YouTube and Erin Pavlina (she has a website and some interesting information on the other side).
For some people suicide is actually a good idea. What i also find interesting is that there have been animals who commited suicide.
I feel out of it right now but i hope this helps a little bit at least.

hugs

Animals committing suicide? Never heard of that one..

 

[Cookiedough8956]

Wow, i can relate to this post so much.
I feel like im still here for others, to spare them the pain.
But really, there isnt any point of me being here, and I serve no purpose here either. Too dumb to do anything better.
Everyday is a painful reminder. Hate waking up.

 

[Pulpit2018]

Do you have a purpose? If not, look for one.

I always had trouble with this thought.How possible is it to find one?Maybe it finds you.Its not a thing you buy on the street.Some stuff are out of your control.

 

[Mercury6737]

I always had trouble with this thought.How possible is it to find one?Maybe it finds you.Its not a thing you buy on the street.Some stuff are out of your control.

Like just about everything else, the concept of a "purpose" is a coping mechanism, often times spurred by the human ego. It's part of the reason why many people define themselves by their jobs when, in reality, they are just another employee number.

 

[StGerman]

Do you ever feel like everything you do is boring? Do you think working only makes you a wageslave unless you make good money? Do you ever feel like society is too slow developing new scientific knowledge? Like nothing you do is interesting to you, that life is just waiting and waiting and waiting and sleeping?

Sex doesn't pleasure you as much as it used to pleasure you, food doesn't satiate you... most videogames are boring too. What's the point then? Why should I keep living? Even if I have my necessities covered, why shouldn't I kill myself? Do I need to be in pain, do I need to be suffering in order to qualify for suicide? Do I need to be homeless first? I tried sleeping, but I can't sleep more than 12 hours / day and that's not enough for me, 12 waking hours is too much for me.

Should I keep making excuses to justify living? "Oh, wait until they deny your disability benefits." "Oh no, wait until your father dies." "Wait until you don't have any money left." "Wait because you may end up rich when the house is sold!".

Sometimes I just wish life gave me a bad deal so that I would have a good excuse to kill myself. But I am not in that position yet. Should I just stare at my computer screen until I end up homeless and then ctb with the best method available? I need opinions.

I can fully understand you but it also sounds to me like a depression, though I am no doctor :-)

 

[Redt2go]

Do you ever feel like everything you do is boring? Do you think working only makes you a wageslave unless you make good money? Do you ever feel like society is too slow developing new scientific knowledge? Like nothing you do is interesting to you, that life is just waiting and waiting and waiting and sleeping?

Sex doesn't pleasure you as much as it used to pleasure you, food doesn't satiate you... most videogames are boring too. What's the point then? Why should I keep living? Even if I have my necessities covered, why shouldn't I kill myself? Do I need to be in pain, do I need to be suffering in order to qualify for suicide? Do I need to be homeless first? I tried sleeping, but I can't sleep more than 12 hours / day and that's not enough for me, 12 waking hours is too much for me.

Should I keep making excuses to justify living? "Oh, wait until they deny your disability benefits." "Oh no, wait until your father dies." "Wait until you don't have any money left." "Wait because you may end up rich when the house is sold!".

Sometimes I just wish life gave me a bad deal so that I would have a good excuse to kill myself. But I am not in that position yet. Should I just stare at my computer screen until I end up homeless and then ctb with the best method available? I need opinions.

Yes I fully relate to the first two paragraphs... Symptoms of depression... I know they're depression bc everything becomes strangely beautiful and interesting and meaningful when I'm manic

And about the putting it off thats you finding reasons to live... Not a terrible thing

 

[Redt2go]

Contrary to the common 'life's too short' mantra, don't you think we live just for too long?

Yes

 

[ForestLove]

All my life, I always wonder why pple want to commit suicide. And I always believe every problem has a solution.

After I attempted it last Dec, I realised I am not afraid of death and I welcome it with open arms. And suicide is not a temporary solution to permanent problem.

I realised a lot of pple are afraid to die.

I pray everyday and hope that I can die asap.

 

[odette]

May I ask what kind of depression treatments you have tried?

 

[ForestLove]

May I ask what kind of depression treatments you have tried?

Who are you referring to?

 

[odette]

Who are you referring to?

I meant OP, but I would like to hear the answer from anyone who feels the same as OP and would be willing to share.

 

[TAW122]

Yeah, most of the time it feels like a tedious grind. Only some moments of time where there is fleeting happiness and enjoyment, which oftenly quickly drifts away. Sometimes, I do make excuses to stay alive for the next thing, the next next thing and so forth. However, I've decided to gamble on my fate in one fell swoop. If things are too shitty for me (which I will find out next week), then I'm just going to focus 100% on death and be out before the end of the month of May.

 

[deflagrat]

May I ask what kind of depression treatments you have tried?

Treatment helps, but it's not enough by itself. I don't have skills for a good job and I don't want to work in shitty jobs, so without my parents it's game over for me. That's why my mind thinks about doing it sooner, it's because I am going to kill myself regardless of what happens... unless you expect me to want to live permanently as a homeless person.

 

[odette]

Treatment helps, but it's not enough by itself. I don't have skills for a good job and I don't want to work in shitty jobs, so without my parents it's game over for me. That's why my mind thinks about doing it sooner, it's because I am going to kill myself regardless of what happens... unless you expect me to want to live permanently as a homeless person.

What job would you want if you could acquire the necessary skills?

 

[StGerman]

I am suffering from bipolare desease and my life goes up and down, the last two years mainly in depression. I am treated with all they have, pills of all classes, neuroleptics, antidepressant we tested them nearly all but nothing really helped, them we tried magnetic therapy it didn't work out, also EKT electroconvulsive therapy where you get shocks to your brain did not help now I am getting Ketamine and I have got the impression it slightly goes up a bit. Mean while I was so desperate about my hole situation that I bought some N powder just in case it doesn't go better or even worse. But not all treatments of the psychiatrists helps you need to find out which is your way.

 

[Redt2go]

I am suffering from bipolare desease and my life goes up and down, the last two years mainly in depression. I am treated with all they have, pills of all classes, neuroleptics, antidepressant we tested them nearly all but nothing really helped, them we tried magnetic therapy it didn't work out, also EKT electroconvulsive therapy where you get shocks to your brain did not help now I am getting Ketamine and I have got the impression it slightly goes up a bit. Mean while I was so desperate about my hole situation that I bought some N powder just in case it doesn't go better or even worse. But not all treatments of the psychiatrists helps you need to find out which is your way.

I can't believe they still do electroconvulsive therapy

 

[deflagrat]

What job would you want if you could acquire the necessary skills?

I tried to become a programmer, but I suck at it (as I suck in many other jobs) because of cognitive impairments due to my schizoaffective disorder.

 

[First loss]

I believe life has nothing to offer to anyone in general. We are just a misproduct of nature.

A mistake of some sorts.

Life doesn't owe anything to you, it is unfair, unjust and unforgiving.

That's a cruel truth but to hell with it.

 

[21Neberg]

I was in the same shoes as you, and partially, I still am. I've decided to set a personal goal for myself, something for me to work towards. Currently, I'm excercising a lot to lose weight, as I've always thought of myself as incredibly ugly. I may not be able to change my face, but I can change how fat or skinny I am.

 

[Memento Mori]

I was in the same shoes as you, and partially, I still am. I've decided to set a personal goal for myself, something for me to work towards. Currently, I'm excercising a lot to lose weight, as I've always thought of myself as incredibly ugly. I may not be able to change my face, but I can change how fat or skinny I am.

you mean just losing weight or changing it into muscle mass? I lost 80kg weight but that doesn't look properly either. adding swimming, biking or similar stuff is perfect. I didn't really do sports, I just did alcohol and starving, eating some fast food every 2-3days lol. well now my body's crap but I'm not that unattractive anymore, just need to to some workout

I tried to become a programmer, but I suck at it (as I suck in many other jobs) because of cognitive impairments due to my schizoaffective disorder.

where do you suck? html? java? c(+)? python? or harder languages?

Do you ever feel like everything you do is boring?

every fucking second. everything was boring but after loosing love it's even worse. work can help but it's not easy to find the perfect job so yeah. drugs can be somewhat enjoyable...or just being in the nature for one hour.

for me it's hard to be awake for a long time too, just to wait for another fuckin bad sleep. doesn't matter what I'm eating or how much, it's just mass you put in your mouth and digest, there's no joy in sunbeams and fresh air, watching some movie/series is emotionally stressful...


I'm waiting for myself to tell me to finally go and die, while rarely getting a feeling of 'life is good' and "there's stuff I'd like to have/to do"...feeling exhausted from being awake for 6 hours and just laying around...damn give me cocaine to live like a 'normal' human being lol

 

[odette]

I tried to become a programmer, but I suck at it (as I suck in many other jobs) because of cognitive impairments due to my schizoaffective disorder.

Can you tell me more about what didn't work? I'm a programmer and I find that an awful lot of people come to the conclusion that they are no good at it when they actually would have been fine if they kept going over the humps.

 

[Redt2go]

every fucking second. everything was boring but after loosing love it's even worse

retweet

 

[Xaphous]

I never had a girlfriend friends or sex ever so can't relate with anyone on this site even. I never experienced anything