Killing self tonight

[19andready]

So, I've finally mustered the courage to take this gig seriously. I have decided to hang myself with a belt, Robin Williams style. Unfortunately, I've found looking for specific details on how to pull it off very difficult, even on this site. Can anyone please help me out on the logistical side of this so I don't end up a vegetable? Thank you. I will leave one last note before I give it a shot. Thank you all.

 

[Mr2005]

19? Man if you can do it at your age so can I

 

[19andready]

19? Man if you can do it at your age so can I

20 right now, going on 21 in a couple of months. Like I said, it's taken a while to muster up the courage. But, I'm facing inevitable homelessness, so I see this as a better fate. Best of luck to you as well though!

 

[one4all]

So, I've finally mustered the courage to take this gig seriously. I have decided to hang myself with a belt, Robin Williams style. Unfortunately, I've found looking for specific details on how to pull it off very difficult, even on this site. Can anyone please help me out on the logistical side of this so I don't end up a vegetable? Thank you. I will leave one last note before I give it a shot. Thank you all.

There are alot of thread on here about that subject. Have you looked at this thread below? Also please be careful if you take that as an out. If done wrong you could have some SERIOUS issues after. One thing is do not do this on impulse, because that F's things up.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/resource-compilation.3/

 

[19andready]

There are alot of thread on here about that subject. Have you looked at this thread below? Also please be careful if you take that as an out. If done wrong you could have some SERIOUS issues after. One thing is do not do this on impulse, because that F's things up.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/resource-compilation.3/

I appreciate it the links. I have read numerous threads on low suspension hanging, with somewhat conflicting answers. The consensus seems to be that a rope would be a much better option, but I don't have access to one. I do, however, have belts and and doorknobs. My clock is ticking here with the living situation, but I am alone all day which is the optimal environment. I'll definitely be careful. Once again , thank you.

 

[Sensei]

Is impending homelessness your main reason for wanting to die? Homelessness is an ordeal, but is it worth dying for? You can hang yourself at any time. Have you looked at shelters? Do you have any friends or relatives that can help you?

 

[one4all]

I appreciate it the links. I have read numerous threads on low suspension hanging, with somewhat conflicting answers. The consensus seems to be that a rope would be a much better option, but I don't have access to one. I do, however, have belts and and doorknobs. My clock is ticking here with the living situation, but I am alone all day which is the optimal environment. I'll definitely be careful. Once again , thank you.

Again i can not stress enough not to do this on impulse. Life is weird and things do change for some people, sometimes better or sometimes worse. This could be a long time solution for a short term problem. If am not in your shoes, so i can't say what is right or wrong for you. I do hope that what ever you decide brings peace to you.

 

[19andready]

Is impending homelessness your main reason for wanting to die? Homelessness is an ordeal, but is it worth dying for? You can hang yourself at any time. Have you looked at shelters? Do you have any friends or relatives that can help you?

It's definitely not the reason I want to die. I've been suicidal for near a decade now, but my depression has led me to become an unemployed recluse ever since I graduated high school. My father has been paying the rent for me, but he's had enough. I'd look at this as more of a catalyst than a reason. It would be much harder to ctb on the streets than alone in a house all day.

 

[Apathy79]

So the haste is due to fear of losing the capacity to ctb?

 

[Sensei]

It's definitely not the reason I want to die. I've been suicidal for near a decade now, but my depression has led me to become an unemployed recluse ever since I graduated high school. My father has been paying the rent for me, but he's had enough. I'd look at this as more of a catalyst than a reason. It would be much harder to ctb on the streets than alone in a house all day.

I see. Not that it's my business, but in what ways have you tried to fight your depression? I don't doubt for a second that you have fought hard, but there are many members who struggle with depression here and it might be worth listening to what they have to say about it.

 

[one4all]

It's definitely not the reason I want to die. I've been suicidal for near a decade now, but my depression has led me to become an unemployed recluse ever since I graduated high school. My father has been paying the rent for me, but he's had enough. I'd look at this as more of a catalyst than a reason. It would be much harder to ctb on the streets than alone in a house all day.

That really sucks. But ctb'ing at the house COULD leave a very negative impact on the people who live there. I knew a friend that died in a house and each time i went there it was very haunting, knowing what happened, seeing the exact place he died. Can't shake the feelings. His was not a suicide though.

 

[Ange_Fatigue]

Living conditions are reversible. If I say to you I am a magic dwarf and this is your lucky day ! Take those free gift : brand new car, nice girlfriend loving you tenderly, and a lot of money to buy you tgings

 

[Amossoma543]

Is impending homelessness your main reason for wanting to die? Homelessness is an ordeal, but is it worth dying for? You can hang yourself at any time. Have you looked at shelters? Do you have any friends or relatives that can help you?

I cannot speak for the OP, but I would certainly choose death over a shelter or homelessness. Hell, I'm not even homeless and I'm planning my death.

 

[19andready]

So the haste is due to fear of losing the capacity to ctb?

I would say so, yes. I can't think of a better opportunity; there are stretches of hours or even days where I have no contact with anyone, and all the resources I really need right here.

I cannot speak for the OP, but I would certainly choose death over a shelter or homelessness. Hell, I'm not even homeless and I'm planning my death.

Pretty much how I feel too.

 

[one4all]

I cannot speak for the OP, but I would certainly choose death over a shelter or homelessness. Hell, I'm not even homeless and I'm planning my death.

I can't speak for the OP or others here. All i do know is there are fates far more worse then homelessness. I will not get into those.

 

[19andready]

I see. Not that it's my business, but in what ways have you tried to fight your depression? I don't doubt for a second that you have fought hard, but there are many members who struggle with depression here and it might be worth listening to what they have to say about it.

I have been in treatment since approximately age 12, numerous medications, therapy, charter schools etc. I didn't really utilize these resources at the time, and as soon as I turned 18, the access to quality care basically disappeared.

 

[Amossoma543]

I would say so, yes. I can't think of a better opportunity; there are stretches of hours or even days where I have no contact with anyone, and all the resources I really need right here.

Pretty much how I feel too.

It's not that I have any negative reaction towards people who are homeless or even poverty. I'm well acquainted with poverty from childhood. But...I need my isolation. Like you, I have extended periods of time during the day to myself...to self-soothe and do the things I enjoy. I'm not willing to give that up. It's the ONLY thing that makes life even a little tolerable, and that is still not enough to keep me here for long.

 

[Sensei]

I cannot speak for the OP, but I would certainly choose death over a shelter or homelessness. Hell, I'm not even homeless and I'm planning my death.

To be honest, I don't know what I would do. That's why I ask, "Is it worth dying for?" If I thought I had an answer, I would have written, "Yes, it's worth dying for", or "No, it's not worth dying for."

 

[Amossoma543]

To be honest, I don't know what I would do. That's why I ask, "Is it worth dying for?" If I thought I had an answer, I would have written, "Yes, it's worth dying for", or "No, it's not worth dying for."

Yes, I know it was an honest question. I was giving an answer as if it were posed to me.

 

[19andready]

It's not that I have any negative reaction towards people who are homeless or even poverty. I'm well acquainted with poverty from childhood. But...I need my isolation. Like you, I have extended periods of time during the day to myself...to self-soothe and do the things I enjoy. I'm not willing to give that up. It's the ONLY thing that makes life even a little tolerable, and that is still not enough to keep me here for long.

Social anxiety and homelessness just seems unbearable to me.

 

[Quarky00]

Friends , please note :

First post on here in about 7 months, good to be back.

Welcome back

It's definitely not the reason I want to die. I've been suicidal for near a decade now, but my depression has led me to become an unemployed recluse ever since I graduated high school. My father has been paying the rent for me, but he's had enough. I'd look at this as more of a catalyst than a reason. It would be much harder to ctb on the streets than alone in a house all day.

Pretty similar here (except no one paid my rent) , that was just a catalyst , I became homeless for a short while , and I would have prefered to die at my home of 15 years instead of losing home and surviving/dying on the streets .

Like others said homelessness is serious in itself , for many that's the end ; now coupled with previous depression/suicidal ......

Days with no contact with anyone , and weeks . Freeze food never left house . And I'm sure I'm not the only one . Not saying this to diminish your state just it's normal for depression or anxiety .

 

[Amossoma543]

Social anxiety and homelessness just seems unbearable to me.

Oh, I definitely agree. I watched a video on CNN the other day of this woman who lives in NYC...who gets up every day and walks the city collecting cans to survive and eat every day. She does this 7 days a week and lives off of the approximately $10,000 a year this brings her. So she collects enough each day to eat, and gets up every day to do it again.

To me...that sounds like a living HELLISH nightmare existence.

 

[Sensei]

I have been in treatment since approximately age 12, numerous medications, therapy, charter schools etc. I didn't really utilize these resources at the time, and as soon as I turned 18, the access to quality care basically disappeared.

You seem to have exhausted most options. Maybe it's genetic. There are many treatments outside of psychiatry, though. Be that as it may, you're the only one who knows your situation really well and what to do, but I hope you at least will devote a few hours to think through your situation so that you're not doing something impulsive which can't be undone.

 

[Amossoma543]

I can't speak for the OP or others here. All i do know is there are fates far more worse then homelessness. I will not get into those.

Oh, of course. For example, being set on fire is worse. Or being in prison is worse. I'm only addressing what's being addressed here, that's why I said what I did.

 

[Apathy79]

Out of interest, if your Dad wasn't kicking you out imminently, would you still want to ctb?

 

[Quarky00]

Or being in prison is worse

I'm not sure about that .

 

[one4all]

Oh, of course. For example, being set on fire is worse. Or being in prison is worse. I'm only addressing what's being addressed here, that's why I said what I did.

Not to sound disrespectful. I am also trying to address what is here. Everyone must chose what is right for them. But offering another point of view shouldn't hurt. At least i hope.

 

[Amossoma543]

I'm not sure about that .

Yeah, different people have different feelings about certain living conditions. I can't imagine the horrors of living in prison. It sounds like a fate worse than death to me.

 

[one4all]

I'm not sure about that .

Depending on where he/she lives. Prison can be another hell on earth.

my 2 cents

 

[19andready]

Out of interest, if your Dad wasn't kicking you out imminently, would you still want to ctb?

Absolutely, yes. But having shelter and food, internet, video games, etc. Provides ample coping mechanisms to distract me from how I really feel. I could probably continue this lifestyle for decades if he allowed it.