Killing myself 7th December. My goodbye thread.

[Ozzyno]

Well, that's it… I've bought what I need to kill myself, decided where to do it and when. The 7th of December I'm gonna go. I'm really bored I can't explain it further.

Six years ago I broke up with my girlfriend and since then I didn't really go around looking for someone else. I've only been in long distance relationships since then.

I have a good life, I'm in good health, I have a job that I love, I have few but good friends. I'm just bored. I can't find someone that wants to spend time with me, I've lost hope.

My initial plan was to kill my self in march, when my house would be paid. I just need 4k € to finish it off and the value of the house is so high that my mother will not have problems to finish paying that off so I don't bother living months for no reason.

Some weeks ago I've met that ex girlfriend and I've realised that I can't really feel anything at all. She was so rude without even realising, and her best friend (which was MY best friend) just became an idiot…

I have a rope and a good place to hang myself with full suspension, I'm gonna be a +1 on the long list of people that committed suicide in this valley of death.

In this last week I will live you can ask me anything if someone's interested.

Bye, M.

 

[L'absent]

I'm sorry you've reached this point. I wish you the best and hope you find the peace you deserve. May I ask you why you call that place "valley of death"?

 

[Ozzyno]

I'm sorry you've reached this point. I wish you the best and hope you find the peace you deserve. May I ask you why you call that place "valley of death"?

A province where there is a suicide rate almost 5 times higher than the rest of the country. The more you go at the 'end' of the valley (there is one main road that leads to a village) the higher the rate.

The problem is only social because we are all well put off economically, the province is also the one with the lowest unemployment rate and the lowest crime rate…

Boredom and isolation is unsustainable…

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Hi there, thanks for sharing. Just curious, have you lived other places, or could you if you wanted to? This valley seems to contribute to the boredom and where you find yourself now? Hope you find peace.

 

[Ozzyno]

Hi there, thanks for sharing. Just curious, have you lived other places, or could you if you wanted to? This valley seems to contribute to the boredom and where you find yourself now? Hope you find peace.

Well no I never lived in another place. I didn't because I don't want to live anywhere else in my own country because it's so different so it would feel like being in a foreign country, plus the economy is not as good as here so it would be a downgrade in any way one could look at it. I live in a EU country so I could move in any of the other 26 members but I can't find a job anywhere else. Switzerland which would be suitable for me and what I am used to but it is too expensive. The problem is the language barrier, of course I can speak English but I cannot find an English speaking job in Sweden or Denmark for example. I see no options. I would even like to live in the USA but nobody would sponsor me a Visa, same thing for Canada, Australia or New Zealand. I just have zero options in that regard and I feel in a cage.

 

[Shatami44]

Im dying around the same time as u. At least I wont be the only one

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Well no I never lived in another place. I didn't because I don't want to live anywhere else in my own country because it's so different so it would feel like being in a foreign country, plus the economy is not as good as here so it would be a downgrade in any way one could look at it. I live in a EU country so I could move in any of the other 26 members but I can't find a job anywhere else. Switzerland which would be suitable for me and what I am used to but it is too expensive. The problem is the language barrier, of course I can speak English but I cannot find an English speaking job in Sweden or Denmark for example. I see no options. I would even like to live in the USA but nobody would sponsor me a Visa, same thing for Canada, Australia or New Zealand. I just have zero options in that regard and I feel in a cage.

I see, it is sad that the world so big, can have so little options. All the best

 

[Ozzyno]

I see, it is sad that the world so big, can have so little options. All the best

And I'm not even picky with jobs… I am willing to learn and work overtime and everything… I started working in this current company 6 years ago and I've always worked 9 hours a day, maybe skipping a day every three or four months… the language barrier in the EU is a big obstacle unless you are college graduate and want to live in the capital city. I just want to live a normal normal life, fuck I see my grandpa and at my age he used to have a wife, a job, a son and a house and he used to repair bikes. I assemble stuff worth hundreds of thousands of Euro for pharmaceutical companies and I couldn't to what he did, plus no family and looking at society I will never get anything from anyone… it's so frustrating because it comes to a point where I look at myself and just say 'I know I deserve more than this!' but that *more* never comes, just more useless days and years passes without being recognised by anyone, just a ghost living to do what?

The frustration quickly became 'the world doesn't deserve my presence'…

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

And I'm not even picky with jobs… I am willing to learn and work overtime and everything… I started working in this current company 6 years ago and I've always worked 9 hours a day, maybe skipping a day every three or four months… the language barrier in the EU is a big obstacle unless you are college graduate and want to live in the capital city. I just want to live a normal normal life, fuck I see my grandpa and at my age he used to have a wife, a job, a son and a house and he used to repair bikes. I assemble stuff worth hundreds of thousands of Euro for pharmaceutical companies and I couldn't to what he did, plus no family and looking at society I will never get anything from anyone… it's so frustrating because it comes to a point where I look at myself and just say 'I know I deserve more than this!' but that *more* never comes, just more useless days and years passes without being recognised by anyone, just a ghost living to do what?

The frustration quickly became 'the world doesn't deserve my presence'…

Normal would've been nice yes, a simple normal life.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find the freedom you are searching for, I wish you the best.

 

[newstart2000]

Do you have depression? Have you tried all other things? I am desperate due to mistakes. I failed myself. I know sometimes people feel meaningless, but……

 

[Ozzyno]

Do you have depression? Have you tried all other things? I am desperate due to mistakes. I failed myself. I know sometimes people feel meaningless, but……

What do you mean by 'all other things'?

 

[SilentSadness]

Some of the problems you mentioned should not be your responsibility, they should be solved by society and not burdened on you, so this is very sad. I completely understand having these types of problems, it is so difficult to endure when you have no options. I also empathise with not feeling anything, I think when you have to go through the same undesirable thing again and again you just become numb, I experience that as well. I hope you can find peace because you sound tired, I understand. Good luck going through quite a brutal method, otherwise maybe you can find another way forward, I hope the best for you.

 

[waistcoat]

hey, this sounds like a death mostly due to apathy towards life; this is something that therapies such as psychodynamic therapy can help with greatly.if you haven't already you should look into such therapies before doing this. i wish you the best of luck either way.

 

[TheHolySword]

I hope that you find your peace

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

Im dying around the same time as u. At least I wont be the only one

Same, these will be my last few days alive

 

[L'absent]

A province where there is a suicide rate almost 5 times higher than the rest of the country. The more you go at the 'end' of the valley (there is one main road that leads to a village) the higher the rate.

The problem is only social because we are all well put off economically, the province is also the one with the lowest unemployment rate and the lowest crime rate…

Boredom and isolation is unsustainable…

I don't know if you live in the place where I think I won't mention. But if that's what I think, it's an enchanting place from a landscape point of view. However, it is also a place that lends itself to suicide. They will be the bridges, the rock spurs overlooking the very high cliffs. Remember the story of a child who parked her bicycle and threw herself into the void. Every corner is excellent for committing suicide in nature. Furthermore, the beauty of the place (when I was there) bewitched me. Is it an area between many lakes?

 

[Ozzyno]

I don't know if you live in the place where I think I won't mention. But if that's what I think, it's an enchanting place from a landscape point of view. However, it is also a place that lends itself to suicide. They will be the bridges, the rock spurs overlooking the very high cliffs. Remember the story of a child who parked her bicycle and threw herself into the void. Every corner is excellent for committing suicide in nature. Furthermore, the beauty of the place (when I was there) bewitched me. Is it an area between many lakes?

You should see from my profile where I live… yes, people usually just jump over a bridge. Yes, the landscape is awesome, can't complain about the view and the quality of the air.

hey, this sounds like a death mostly due to apathy towards life; this is something that therapies such as psychodynamic therapy can help with greatly.if you haven't already you should look into such therapies before doing this. i wish you the best of luck either way.

I don't even know where I could get that. I don't live in a big city and not in a 'progressive' country.

Some of the problems you mentioned should not be your responsibility, they should be solved by society and not burdened on you, so this is very sad. I completely understand having these types of problems, it is so difficult to endure when you have no options. I also empathise with not feeling anything, I think when you have to go through the same undesirable thing again and again you just become numb, I experience that as well. I hope you can find peace because you sound tired, I understand. Good luck going through quite a brutal method, otherwise maybe you can find another way forward, I hope the best for you.

I don't just sound tired, I am tired. Every year it's the same thing over and over: I get numb, I start to study a new language to move elsewhere, can't find a job where I would like to be, get depressed.

At least these last years I was young, in 2025 I will be 27, I will not have hope to be able to change my life anymore in a couple of years.

 

[melonpan]

Hope you find peace. It's almost the day, take care and may your travels be smooth.

 

[a_tired_autist]

it's planned i die the same day. Funny how the world is small sometimes. Anyways best regards and good luck. May you rest in peace.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

it's planned i die the same day. Funny how the world is small sometimes. Anyways best regards and good luck. May you rest in peace.

A small world indeed. Peace to you as well

 

[Opera]

I wish you the best <3 I hope you will find happiness and peace

 

[Jon Arbuckle]

hoping for the best for you. I'm sorry that life did not work out for you.

 

[Gone soon]

Good luck. I hope everything goes well

 

[waistcoat]

I don't even know where I could get that. I don't live in a big city and not in a 'progressive' country.

if its not too late; googling 'online therapy' will genuinely give good results

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

I hope you found peace

 

[newstart2000]

Are you still here? Hope you find your peace.

 

[JhinLovesPyke]

Buddy, are you still there? It's already December 8... I'm afraid not.