Venting kept alive by pills, but to what end?

[waistcoat]

a few days ago i lost my bag containing my medication.

i went less than 72 hours without my medication.
the first 24h were hazy, kinda like there was a fog over everything, this is fairly normal for me regardless, it happens at least once or twice a week, so i wasn't too bothered.
the next 3 days (3 cus the meds take a while to act again if u stop them) were absolute fucking hell and i am still suffering from the consequences.

i started feeling dizzy, constantly, i'd lose consiousness and faint for a few seconds at a time every 10-15 minutes, sometimes faster, regardless on if i was walking, sitting, eating, etc.

then the panic attacks started. oh god.
i was starting to think i didn't actually need my medication.
haha.
i was very wrong.

my gf was there to hug me and try help me through them. but it didn't really do anything.
i cried so much that my eyes still hurt days later.
i couldn't breathe.
i was in physical pain from my disabilities, but also physical pain from the crying, chest pain, and emotional pain of fuck knows what

i was literally unable to process any emotions or do anything other than cry
we went for a walk around the area we were staying and i broke down in random bathrooms multiple times and kept almost breaking down randomly while walking

im home now and i still have a headache from everything.

to what end is this?
people say it's supposed to get better, but even with my meds i still have debilitating panic attacks multiple times a day, everyday.

if i miss a dose i go fucking insane and it takes days to recover
this is no way to live

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm sorry this happened to you. Was it not possible to go to an emergency room, or similar, at a hospital, tell them what happened, and get treatment restarted quickly?

 

[waistcoat]

I'm sorry this happened to you. Was it not possible to go to an emergency room, or similar, at a hospital, tell them what happened, and get treatment restarted quickly?

in theory, yea, but there are 2 issues:
1) i genuinely don't care enough about myself to do that.
2) this isn't the first time it's happened, and last time i did speak to my doctors about it and they said "this isn't a symptom", ya know, despite it clearly being a symptom.

doctors don't take me seriously because they assume their stupid pieces of paper are more accurate than the fucking visible symtoms i very clearly exhibit.