Help keeping a depression diary that I can share when ctb - on FB or a different app? and an online suicide note for future use...

[LittleJem]

I've decided to keep an online diary of each day (e.g. suicidal thoughts, agitation). The idea is that when I can't take it anymore and CTB I can share it with my family electronically.
No-one wants to know really the daily suffering and yet when ctb they will wonder why or want a reason. But then they will also be sad about how much suffering. Do you think this is a helpful thing to do and to share?

I think I should use Facebook and have a private page that I can then share - because I use Facebook anyway. Or maybe a separate diary website that I can share.

I'm also worried that when I decide to ctb I won't be well enough to write a note, so I think I need to write a note in advance. Perhaps that could be the headline to the diary site.

I'd value anyone's thoughts - on this idea and also on how to use FB or any recommended diary site. I'm sure I can work it out, but not that functional and if you have recommendations or know how to do it...I'm also worried that a diary site might shut down what I write if I talk about CTB.

Just writing this has helped me think it over - and if you have thoughts or suggestions please share.

 

[morgueprincess]

i'm writing my note on my notes app, i plan to ctb in my room so i will slip a piece of paper under my door with instructions that will lead my parents to my notes app, where i have linked a document i have used to vent along with the rest of my note. since i'm doing it on my notes app, the note can be shared with others, so i have made a contacts list with instructions for the note to be shared with everyone in that list as well.

 

[Abyssal]

I'm making mine irl with pencil and paper.

 

[sugar_kitty]

I'm writing on my notes app but I also wrote letters and in a new notebook because like you said, you never know if something is going to get terminated.
One day I woke up and my old phone completely wiped out all of my notes, not a pleasant experience.
Hope this help !

 

[Thanksforeverything]

I'm going to use a scheduled email which will release my information 48 hours after I pass away. I'll also leave a physical note on pen and paper about the scheduled post, and that I didn't suffer in my last moments to dampen the shock. Since I'll be using SN, I need some kind of way to warn people about the additional glasses being poisonous.

If you want to leave notes, I recommend using the scheduled email thing, because you can stop the email from going out if somehow SI kicks in or in the case of a failed attempt. If you're considering using facebook, you can use it as a diary (Just make sure all the posts are set to "Only Me") and then leave your account credentials in the email afterward so whoever you want can log-in to view past posts.

 

[Mayonaise]

Your idea is very kind and considerate but I wouldn't share a day-to-day diary about your suffering. Reading through pages and pages of daily pain might be a little too much.
A goodbye note would suffice, and it would be best to write it in advance, when you're not too emotional.
And yes, delayed emails can be an excellent choice. Much love to you, you deserve it