karmic punishment for suicidal thoughts

[offramp]

Does anyone here feel like life is punishing you for having suicidal thoughts?

It feels like bad things happened to me and I became suicidal (suicidal urges #1)...and then more things happened and I'm now much worse off. I look back and think if I just could return to how I used to be when I was originally suicidal I'd be fine. It feels like karmic punishment for not appreciating what I used to have.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I often wonder how much bad I must have done to find myself in this situation. I've always tried to be kind, put others first and help out when needed, I wouldn't say I'm a bad person but I must be, why else would I find myself suicidal, nearly homeless and jobless etc.

 

[offramp]

I often wonder how much bad I must have done to find myself in this situation. I've always tried to be kind, put others first and help out when needed, I wouldn't say I'm a bad person but I must be, why else would I find myself suicidal, nearly homeless and jobless etc.

I've found that putting others first can be really unhealthy...the most balanced people I know seem to prioritize their own needs and then go for from there. I have made a ton of mistakes in my life because I just didn't want to make things awkward or uncomfortable for someone or because I was afraid to let them down. Fuck, I'm definitely the architect of my own destruction.

 

[Broken Chimera]

Once things start going wrong most people wonder what did they do wrong. There's no way your thoughts put you where you are now. You could've been appreciative and only thought positive and the same thing still would've happened. It's not your fault. Not because of thoughts anyway.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I always saw it more as life is punishing me THROUGH suicidal thoughts, and the numerous things that can activate them...

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I don't see any evidence that anyone can be punished for suicidal thoughts. Who or what would be doing the 'punishing'?
Some kind of cosmic force? I've never really understood the finer details of karma, or how it could function exactly in terms of known physical forces.

There is nothing 'wrong' with suicidal thoughts. They're just a natural psychophysiological response to certain internal stresses and pressures which can overwhelm individuals due to particular circumstances.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't see any evidence that anyone can be punished for suicidal thoughts. Who or what would be doing the 'punishing'?
Some kind of cosmic force? I've never really understood the finer details of karma, or how it functions exactly in terms of known physical forces.

There is nothing 'wrong' with suicidal thoughts. They're just a natural psychophysiological response to certain internal stresses and pressures which can overwhelm individuals due to particular circumstances.

Some people might also believe that suicidal or any negative thoughts are just a self fulfilling prophecy if you let them endure them. I'm not agreeing with them but that's definitely what they'd say.

Maybe that's true and maybe it isn't but knowing that alone is not enough to really make the thoughts stop. It's like that thought experiment: Try not to ever think about a white bear and you will inevitably think about a white bear. Just hearing white bear makes it so you have to imagine a white bear. The same can be said for suicide.

That said, on the flip side, it is indeed possible to not always be thinking the same thoughts, they just have to be given room to leave and eventually forgotten. Try to think of only a white bear and nothing else and you'll find it equally difficult.Your mind may eventually get bored and want to think about other things even something as banal as "I need to use the bathroom". Hopefully as long as you aren't immediately suffering the thoughts may go away or at the very least there can be something engaging enough to distract from them.

 

[GreenTree]

I often wonder how much bad I must have done to find myself in this situation. I've always tried to be kind, put others first and help out when needed, I wouldn't say I'm a bad person but I must be, why else would I find myself suicidal, nearly homeless and jobless etc.

Exactly how I feel. Life is cruel.

 

[rt1989526]

Being alive is the punishment.

 

[Wayfaerer]

No, that's just pattern recognition generating superstition. It's natural but has no basis in reality.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

Some people might also believe that suicidal or any negative thoughts are just a self fulfilling prophecy if you let them endure them

There is definitely a downward-spiral tendency to suicidal thoughts if you don't manage to regain some semblance of homeostasis and balance.

it is indeed possible to not always be thinking the same thoughts, they just have to be given room to leave and eventually forgotten. Try to think of only a white bear and nothing else and you'll find it equally difficult.Your mind may eventually get bored and want to think about other things even something as banal as "I need to use the bathroom". Hopefully as long as you aren't immediately suffering the thoughts may go away or at the very least there can be something engaging enough to distract from them.

yes, this is a good point.

 

[offramp]

Once things start going wrong most people wonder what did they do wrong. There's no way your thoughts put you where you are now. You could've been appreciative and only thought positive and the same thing still would've happened. It's not your fault. Not because of thoughts anyway.

There is definitely a downward-spiral tendency to suicidal thoughts if you don't manage to regain some semblance of homeostasis and balance.


yes, this is a good point.

I totally agree...feeling suicidal does not go hand in hand with healthy life choices unfortunately.

 

[Stolen Absolution]

I can empathize with this way of thinking. Not gonna lie, I'm pretty superstitious. I worry if I simply buy the supplies I need to CTB that my current situation will get worse. Yes, like a punishment.

I wish I had some advice, but I think this way about everything and it's ruining my life. It holds me captive. No amount of logical thinking on my part can drive away relentless scenarios that reinforce the idea that I'm simply jinxed.

Could your thinking processes possibly stem from obsessive tendencies? I'm pretty sure that's where mine originate from.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Westerners tend to view karma as reward or punishment, like heaven or hell. Karma has two meanings, actions, and the fruit or natural consequences of actions. When Buddha described it, and how it gets into a perspective of judgment, is fruits such as a physically ugly person having been ugly to others in a past life, dying young because they killed someone in another life, being poor because they were wealthy and stingy in a past life, or having shitty life circumstances because they did shitty things in a past life, but nothing so bad as to be born into a hell realm. Earth is considered a preferable realm because humans still have some agency, which they wouldn't in an animal or hell realm, and so have more ability and opportunity to spiritually advance toward escape and liberation from all cycles of death and rebirth, even those in heavenly realms.

 

[Good4Nothing]

Does anyone here feel like life is punishing you for having suicidal thoughts?

No, I have suicidal thoughts because life is punishing me.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

is fruits such as a physically ugly person having been ugly to others in a past life, dying young because they killed someone in another life, being poor because they were wealthy and stingy in a past life, or having shitty life circumstances because they did shitty things in a past life, but nothing so bad as to be born into a hell realm

I can understand the logic when someone puts it like this.
And I think the human mind has a (superstitious?) tendency to view outcomes and situations in terms of cosmic rebalancing and harmony. Probably comes from our over-developed ability for pattern and symmetry recognition, which had survival value in human ancestors.

But I'm still unsure how karma in Buddha's understanding (with the intentions behind actions being important, but also the personality of the act-doer and surrounding circumstances playing a role) could function in terms of neutral and impersonal physical laws and forces which can be described mathematically.
I know Buddhism says it's a natural and dynamic and impersonal process, but I want the precise details of its functioning...I'm probably asking for too much though.

There is still is a lot we don't know about the universe and life and consciousness.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I know Buddhism says it's a natural and dynamic and impersonal process, but I want the precise details of its functioning...I'm probably asking for too much though.

Didn't give them. It's not a linear philosophy and was not presented as one. If it couldn't be explained, then it was difficult to explain and one had to experience the understanding for themselves. Kinda convenient...

I admit as a result of my studying I have an attitude toward Gautama. I don't come from the Eastern social framework of honoring teachers, or the Buddhist exhortation that one trusts in the Buddha until they figure it out for themselves. Also, he gave a list of ways to judge a teacher before following them, and I personally don't think he passed. He said a lot of good shit, some of it he got from other schools, but I don't buy the whole Buddhist cosmology. Karma came from Hinduism and other schools, it didn't originate with him, and some of what he arrived at through meditation doesn't make rational sense -- if it's not a system of punishments and rewards, then how is it logical that ugly actions bear the fruit of being physically ugly in another rebirth? I guess it's supposed to be that the seeds get planted in the field of possible conditions and take root and grow in the next birth. But he couldn't explain it well and I think it still goes back to punishment and reward, even though it's not supposed to.

 

[Panna]

I often wonder how much bad I must have done to find myself in this situation. I've always tried to be kind, put others first and help out when needed, I wouldn't say I'm a bad person but I must be, why else would I find myself suicidal, nearly homeless and jobless etc.

If you're a bad person I am as well, I always try to go out of my way to help people, and yet the only reason I'm still able to live like a normal person is thanks to my parents and my brother. It's not some mystic magic thats punishing us for how we think, but rather genetics, thats how I see it. Some people get lucky and are able to have a good life, even if they are pieces of shit who delight in hurting innocent people, while there are plenty of good people who cant catch a break.

 

[Birdie]

There's no such a thing as karma, nor "punishment" of any kind. We're irrelevant beings in the universe.

 

[WornOutLife]

Not at all. My suicidal thoughts are because of life itself. It's not my fault to have been born at all. It's life's fault.