Venting Just want to talk about my feelings

[Kadaver]

I feel like I truly don't matter to those that I care most about. My best friend/roommate told me I was stressing him out after I got back home from being in a mental hospital for two weeks. He eventually decided that I would go back to my dads for about a month so he could have some space and reset.

I got here on the 31st of last month and have been trying to just not think. I feel so scared that he will change his mind and not let me come back. I've been trying not to message him to much and just give him space.

When we do talk I always am the one to reach out. He never reciprocates when I tell him that I miss/love him, and that's if he even responds at all. I texted him yesterday and then once again today and he hasn't replied. Just ignored me.

And I know he's online so its not like he's just not at his computer/phone. It just makes me feel like I don't matter. Like once I'm out of people's sight they just wish to completely forget about me.

I feel so alone. He's my best friend and all I want is to talk to him sometimes. Is that to much to ask? It doesn't help that my dad keeps pressuring me to talk with him about when I can go back. He doesn't want me here either I guess.

I wish that my SN wouldn't have been found. I want this feeling inside to go away.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

I'm so sorry! He shouldn't treat you that way! You do matter! My dm is always open for a chat