Venting Just want to "leave" without a fuss

[Tonic]

I don't know why but I have always wanted to just silently disappear from this world without leaving a trace, but it seems really hard to do since I still have family and acquaintances and all.

People in my country love to judge and gossip about suicides even though they don't know or understand a thing. Depression is a myth to them. Existential crisis is something that is beyond their comprehension. My family are all like this - ignorant pro-lifers, so I don't expect them to understand. I know they would be definitely shocked and blame me for taking my life (and wasting their investment, making them the center of all the gossip ect.)

I don't really care about what others think about me anymore, but I do still care for my parents, since they really love me and have never hurt me intentionally. I don't want them to suffer from all that gossiping/pitying of those stupid acquaintances.

I also don't want to do it at home, since they would have to deal with the cleanup, explanation, announcement and funeral thing, which would put even more stress on them.

That said, I'm thinking of pretending to go somewhere far away to work and then wait for the right moment to ctb quietly (maybe I can even fake an accident or something). My family will only be aware of my disappearance days or even weeks after I have said the final goodbye. That way, they can use some excuses to cover up my death (and their embarrassment) from nosy people. Or it could be worse, I'm not sure.

I'm posting this here to ask if any of you have the same thoughts and are planning the same things. I would appreciate all of the perspectives and suggestions you can share. Thanks.

 

[InkBlot]

I don't know why but I have always wanted to just silently disappear from this world without leaving a trace, but it seems really hard to do since I still have family and acquaintances and all.

People in my country love to judge and gossip about suicides even though they don't know or understand a thing. Depression is a myth to them. Existential crisis is something that is beyond their comprehension. My family are all like this - ignorant pro-lifers, so I don't expect them to understand. I know they would be definitely shocked and blame me for taking my life (and wasting their investment, making them the center of all the gossip ect.)

I don't really care about what others think about me anymore, but I do still care for my parents, since they really love me and have never hurt me intentionally. I don't want them to suffer from all that gossiping/pitying of those stupid acquaintances.

I also don't want to do it at home, since they would have to deal with the cleanup, explanation, announcement and funeral thing, which would put even more stress on them.

That said, I'm thinking of pretending to go somewhere far away to work and then wait for the right moment to ctb quietly (maybe I can even fake an accident or something). My family will only be aware of my disappearance days or even weeks after I have said the final goodbye. That way, they can use some excuses to cover up my death (and their embarrassment) from nosy people. Or it could be worse, I'm not sure.

I'm posting this here to ask if any of you have the same thoughts and are planning the same things. I would appreciate all of the perspectives and suggestions you can share. Thanks.

I'm quite the opposite, because no one cares or seems concerned until I end up in a hospital. Then they care for a few months, and then go back to blissful ignorance of my existence. Hell, I only speak to two family members regularly, and only one of them remembers when my birthday is. Of my friends, I think four of them know, and thats because two of us share a birthday.

Thats why, I'm gonna trade in my car the day before I go, go for a drive. Pick a hotel in a state. Tell everyone from a burner phone that I'm dead come my birthday, and to kiss my a** you rotten mother f**kers. Cause a commotion, and dip.

 

[MissLisa]

I don't know why but I have always wanted to just silently disappear from this world without leaving a trace, but it seems really hard to do since I still have family and acquaintances and all.

People in my country love to judge and gossip about suicides even though they don't know or understand a thing. Depression is a myth to them. Existential crisis is something that is beyond their comprehension. My family are all like this - ignorant pro-lifers, so I don't expect them to understand. I know they would be definitely shocked and blame me for taking my life (and wasting their investment, making them the center of all the gossip ect.)

I don't really care about what others think about me anymore, but I do still care for my parents, since they really love me and have never hurt me intentionally. I don't want them to suffer from all that gossiping/pitying of those stupid acquaintances.

I also don't want to do it at home, since they would have to deal with the cleanup, explanation, announcement and funeral thing, which would put even more stress on them.

That said, I'm thinking of pretending to go somewhere far away to work and then wait for the right moment to ctb quietly (maybe I can even fake an accident or something). My family will only be aware of my disappearance days or even weeks after I have said the final goodbye. That way, they can use some excuses to cover up my death (and their embarrassment) from nosy people. Or it could be worse, I'm not sure.

I'm posting this here to ask if any of you have the same thoughts and are planning the same things. I would appreciate all of the perspectives and suggestions you can share. Thanks.

I know what you mean. Peacefully dying, In the countryside and away from people! Sounds fantastic. I would also not want my body to be found for ages either as I have very strong worries about what happens after and being put in a box. The risk is though that you would be reported missing, you might be found before you even get to your location.

 

[MissLisa]

I don't know why but I have always wanted to just silently disappear from this world without leaving a trace, but it seems really hard to do since I still have family and acquaintances and all.

People in my country love to judge and gossip about suicides even though they don't know or understand a thing. Depression is a myth to them. Existential crisis is something that is beyond their comprehension. My family are all like this - ignorant pro-lifers, so I don't expect them to understand. I know they would be definitely shocked and blame me for taking my life (and wasting their investment, making them the center of all the gossip ect.)

I don't really care about what others think about me anymore, but I do still care for my parents, since they really love me and have never hurt me intentionally. I don't want them to suffer from all that gossiping/pitying of those stupid acquaintances.

I also don't want to do it at home, since they would have to deal with the cleanup, explanation, announcement and funeral thing, which would put even more stress on them.

That said, I'm thinking of pretending to go somewhere far away to work and then wait for the right moment to ctb quietly (maybe I can even fake an accident or something). My family will only be aware of my disappearance days or even weeks after I have said the final goodbye. That way, they can use some excuses to cover up my death (and their embarrassment) from nosy people. Or it could be worse, I'm not sure.

I'm posting this here to ask if any of you have the same thoughts and are planning the same things. I would appreciate all of the perspectives and suggestions you can share. Thanks.

I have thought about going on holiday, alone. You will have a week to get and do what you need to before suspicions arise. This seems the best way but I do feel so guilty about how certain people would feel. That's why I am still here.

 

[Pointlessabyss]

Know the exact feeling, I've got to a point personally where their temporary hurt is outweighed in my mind to finally CTB. Currently getting all my affairs in order before committing to a date!

You've got to accept the fact unfortunately you effect lives daily for the better or worse and there is going to be a void when your gone, but only temporary.

 

[Tonic]

Know the exact feeling, I've got to a point personally where their temporary hurt is outweighed in my mind to finally CTB. Currently getting all my affairs in order before committing to a date!

You've got to accept the fact unfortunately you effect lives daily for the better or worse and there is going to be a void when your gone, but only temporary.

I have been trying to minimalize my contact and impact on other lives, but I can't really do that with my parents since I'm still living with them. My older brother is a deaf-mute so I'm their only hope now. They would be devastated if I were to die in a "shameful and stupid" manner like suicide.
So the point is: before I disappear, I have to make sure my death would "appear to be" graceful and unintentional (like from an illness or accident or doing charities or something) so that it would be easier for my parents to deal with...

 

[Pointlessabyss]

I too still live with my parents and have a younger brother. Over the years I have broke what little bond I had with them by acting out and pushing boundaries, but know they still deeply care for me and will be devistated!

You raise an interesting point though and have got me thinking about a few other things in my method. But wouldn't necessary work as I ll be leaving letters to help a few more vulnerable people in my life try and cope.

Suppose your issue is you still care about what people think and the stigma that may be branded on your loved ones. Unfortunately there's no easy way that I'm aware of to make it look accidental. Suppose a cliff, sky diving etc but these are not all guaranteed. Good luck in your search and if you do find a more accidental approach drop me a message.

 

[Smilla]

Go to a foreign country and die there.

 

[NOISYMIND]

Same here living with my dad and my grandma. Don't want to traumatise them but can't afford a night in a hotel room either. I'm stuck.

 

[Ben]

I don't know why but I have always wanted to just silently disappear from this world without leaving a trace, but it seems really hard to do since I still have family and acquaintances and all.

People in my country love to judge and gossip about suicides even though they don't know or understand a thing. Depression is a myth to them. Existential crisis is something that is beyond their comprehension. My family are all like this - ignorant pro-lifers, so I don't expect them to understand. I know they would be definitely shocked and blame me for taking my life (and wasting their investment, making them the center of all the gossip ect.)

I don't really care about what others think about me anymore, but I do still care for my parents, since they really love me and have never hurt me intentionally. I don't want them to suffer from all that gossiping/pitying of those stupid acquaintances.

I also don't want to do it at home, since they would have to deal with the cleanup, explanation, announcement and funeral thing, which would put even more stress on them.

That said, I'm thinking of pretending to go somewhere far away to work and then wait for the right moment to ctb quietly (maybe I can even fake an accident or something). My family will only be aware of my disappearance days or even weeks after I have said the final goodbye. That way, they can use some excuses to cover up my death (and their embarrassment) from nosy people. Or it could be worse, I'm not sure.

I'm posting this here to ask if any of you have the same thoughts and are planning the same things. I would appreciate all of the perspectives and suggestions you can share. Thanks.

Having people in your life who care about you make KTB infinitely more difficult. I would also love to just throw a smoke bomb at the ground and disappear.

Getting my family and friends to lower their care for me took a long time. I've shown time and time again, that their efforts are for nothing, and they have emotionally distanced themselves from me. I consider that to be a kindness I did for them.

I know they will still hurt when I'm gone, but they will be at peace with it. They won't be screaming to the skies "WHY GOD!!". They know why, and they will know they couldn't have stopped it