Just wan to talk about me

[mathiessi]

I'm trying to find the reason why , I always revert to wanting to die ....

I found many situation I was in that can be the reason ...

Recently I realized that I live my life like a fugitive, fearing social contact at the maximum always looking over my shoulder

Each time i watch a video of people having fun together or watching a good deed , I start crying like a baby ....

Today is the day I bring back my kids to they mother it 50/50 and right after I started to feel lost and I really try to not think about dying.

I think I'm still alive because of my children ... So now i have more fear , What my kid will think if I do it ... I really hope no one never find me ....

I feel so pathetic...

Why the fuck ? ...
I'm not natural english speaker so sorry for that.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be awful having to suffer like that, existence is just too cruel. But anyway best wishes.

 

[Sweet Tart]

It sounds like it has been a really emotional day for you. It has for me, too. I think crying is a healthy response and maybe it will give you some relief. Unraveling the cause/s of despair can feel like a real mindfuck, but it can also remove some of the pressure to be okay.

The way you talk about feeling like a fugitive sounds incredibly stressful. Hope you can get a break from this.

 

[deomlez]

@mathiessi Hello si tu veux echanger en français, je suis dispo.
Est ce que tu expliques que l'interaction sociale est douloureuse ? Hypersensible ? Je partage... Je partage aussi le fait que tu veuilles ctb à cause de ça...

 

[mathiessi]

@mathiessi Hello si tu veux echanger en français, je suis dispo.
Est ce que tu expliques que l'interaction sociale est douloureuse ? Hypersensible ? Je partage... Je partage aussi le fait que tu veuilles ctb à cause de ça...

oui l'intération social est difficile et oui je suis hypersensible mais je ne veux pas ctb juste à cause de ça.

Je suis bien comptent de ne pas être seule comme ça :) merci à toi