Just Venting Really

[twosourkiwis]

My name is Kim. I'm freshly 21, I have no education, no job, and my car's transmission went out on my birthday so I no longer have a car. I am a failure and I hate my life in every way. My own boyfriend doesn't truly love me. He is a lustful, easy man with a pretty face. A distraction. I'm the strong one in my family. When my family is in trouble, I always run to save the day. When I am having trouble, it seems like no one can pull through. Sending prayers and empty words without substance. I believe in Jesus Christ. I know that he is real because he answered me when I called out to him. I hope he can forgive me for thinking and planning to take my own life. I have suffered with my mind and body since I was a child. I've been made known how much of a burden I am since I was a child. I ask that whoever reads this and plans on living a fulfilling life to never make your children feel this way. Ever! I ask that if you do have children and bring them on to this plane of existence that you have more than enough money, resources, a village, mental help (a shrink), etc.

I am afraid to live and also to die. I'm still planning for a way out. I will find the will to do it in the near future. Please help me think of ways that aren't too painful.

 

[R. A.]

Welcome, unfortunately. It's against rules to offer direct counsel but there are easy to find threads around on the subject.

Unrelatedly, in case your profile photo is of you, I'd highly recommend changing it. This isn't the kind of place you want to be identifiable, trust me. Normally I'd send this as a private message but your account is too new for you to be able to receive them.