TiredofLife-Thanks
Member
- Sep 10, 2023
- 22
I think everything would be resolved after I died, both for me and for my family.
My brother wouldn't hate me, my mother wouldn't have to accompany me through the ups and downs of depression, the money spent on medication could be invested in my brother's studies (who actually have a future). Neither of them would have to work in places they don't like just to balance the extra expenses I cause. They would have time to take a break from time to time and invest in themselves.
I hate the fact that I'm alive and sincerely, I'm tired of trying to give life another direction. But it's not the same for everyone, right? They love life and have the right to live to the fullest.
I feel like a hindrance. A conflict. A stain on a family that could be functional but is not.
I used to think that my father was that person. He harassed me and was violent with my mother and brother. Then, after he died, for a few months I felt peace and stability. But now, when I look at the mirror, I think I've become the same as him.
When I was a child, my dream was to kill him. Now, my dream is to kill myself.
I wish, from the bottom of my heart, that tomorrow is the day. The day I'm going to embrace death.
My brother wouldn't hate me, my mother wouldn't have to accompany me through the ups and downs of depression, the money spent on medication could be invested in my brother's studies (who actually have a future). Neither of them would have to work in places they don't like just to balance the extra expenses I cause. They would have time to take a break from time to time and invest in themselves.
I hate the fact that I'm alive and sincerely, I'm tired of trying to give life another direction. But it's not the same for everyone, right? They love life and have the right to live to the fullest.
I feel like a hindrance. A conflict. A stain on a family that could be functional but is not.
I used to think that my father was that person. He harassed me and was violent with my mother and brother. Then, after he died, for a few months I felt peace and stability. But now, when I look at the mirror, I think I've become the same as him.
When I was a child, my dream was to kill him. Now, my dream is to kill myself.
I wish, from the bottom of my heart, that tomorrow is the day. The day I'm going to embrace death.
