I've decided I'm going out with either SN or F patches.
Not too long ago it arrived. Trying to figure out how to get the metro. Suggestions are quite welcome. That's not my point, though.
Every so often I take it out (the baggie is inside another baggie, which is inside ANOTHER baggie, which is in a bag, containing 3 baggie matryoshkas.
It's... it's empowering, in a way.
I mean, yeah, I'm suffering, but at the same time, I have my ticket right here in front of me, and I'm holding it in my hand. I can open the baggie and... snort it? IV it? No idea how to IV SN, but I'm sure it's doable. Considering it's a salt, it'll probably hurt like a motherfucker, but still. It's an exit button, so to speak. At any point I choose, I can grab a syringe, a shot glass, boil some H2O (as opposed to tap water or mineral water) and inject that in me. My veins are very visible. Nurses get VERY creepy complimenting me on how nice my veins are. Seriously, they do a sort of witch giggle.
"Ehehehe, you have suuuuuuch niiiiiiceeee veeeeins! *slaps my arm a couple of times, rubs my wrist before putting a needle in* Veeeery nice veeeeeins, heheheh!"
Shit gets creepy in ER. Feels kind of violating.
I don't have the F, but I'm sure the feeling would be the same. Even better - TWO tickets in my hand. Not sure I can hold the second ticket in one hand.
Just having the SN ready for me at all times gives me some strength to push on.
Doc says no to the surgery? Well shit and goodbye.
Doc says yes? I'll ask him for five minutes to shave my head or apply that cream that makes you drop hair like crazy so that he gets the best view of my skull and can grab a sharpie to draw on my head comfortably.
Personally, I think it's a win/win situation right now.
Not too long ago it arrived. Trying to figure out how to get the metro. Suggestions are quite welcome. That's not my point, though.
Every so often I take it out (the baggie is inside another baggie, which is inside ANOTHER baggie, which is in a bag, containing 3 baggie matryoshkas.
It's... it's empowering, in a way.
I mean, yeah, I'm suffering, but at the same time, I have my ticket right here in front of me, and I'm holding it in my hand. I can open the baggie and... snort it? IV it? No idea how to IV SN, but I'm sure it's doable. Considering it's a salt, it'll probably hurt like a motherfucker, but still. It's an exit button, so to speak. At any point I choose, I can grab a syringe, a shot glass, boil some H2O (as opposed to tap water or mineral water) and inject that in me. My veins are very visible. Nurses get VERY creepy complimenting me on how nice my veins are. Seriously, they do a sort of witch giggle.
"Ehehehe, you have suuuuuuch niiiiiiceeee veeeeins! *slaps my arm a couple of times, rubs my wrist before putting a needle in* Veeeery nice veeeeeins, heheheh!"
Shit gets creepy in ER. Feels kind of violating.
I don't have the F, but I'm sure the feeling would be the same. Even better - TWO tickets in my hand. Not sure I can hold the second ticket in one hand.
Just having the SN ready for me at all times gives me some strength to push on.
Doc says no to the surgery? Well shit and goodbye.
Doc says yes? I'll ask him for five minutes to shave my head or apply that cream that makes you drop hair like crazy so that he gets the best view of my skull and can grab a sharpie to draw on my head comfortably.
Personally, I think it's a win/win situation right now.
