Venting Just some feelings

[SadNoodlez]

I don't want to be alive much anymore. Mainly because its physically painful. Like the feelings actually hurt. I've been feeling like this for months now and I think I'm finally through with feeling this way.

I've always viewed myself as a burden. Today, I realised that's just what I am. A friend told me that if I was one she would just not deal with me. Ever since I got out if hospital, I haven't seen her. At all. I've tried contacting but nothings getting through. I still see her around but we make eye contact and she walks off in the other direction. It makes me feel like I've done something. Because at the end of the day, it's my mental health affecting others. I dont know if I'll be here much longer.

 

[MaybeMaybeKnot]

Hey. I'm sorry life is doing this to you. You are among friends here.

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

OP, you are not a burden and you deserve much better.

 

[Rushon]

It's not you, it's others. I have cancer for the second time and you should see how people all of a sudden don't have time for you. We deserve better.

 

[PetiteAngel]

Maybe she was never a friend?
Have you ever thought you deserve better than that.

You will have plenty of friends here who know you are a beautiful soul.

 

[BlueWidow]

It's not you, it's others. I have cancer for the second time and you should see how people all of a sudden don't have time for you. We deserve better.

I'm so sorry to hear about your cancer. I know what you mean about people not having time for you after you get sick. I saw it happen to both my father and my husband. At the end of their lives when they were both extremely ill, nobody wanted to come around anymore. My dad used to ask me, " Where are all of my friends?". Of course, I didn't have an answer.
I can only hope that when those people are seriously ill, nobody comes to visit them either, then they'll get to see how it feels.