Venting Just realized I’m being abused

[Wyldfyre4948]

So today is 6 weeks since my wife left me. It just occurred to me that I'm being abused by her and I didn't even realize it. Abandonment is a form of abuse, and her leaving the day after my cat was put to sleep caused me to be unable to properly mourn him. I'm a fool though because I still love her and would take her back.

As a man I don't get the same care that a woman would. People expect me to shake it off and just keep going. Hopefully I only have a couple more weeks of this before I get to go home and see my little buddy again. I've come to believe that living is hell.

 

[stage4johnny]

Don't kill yourself over a bitch! Your wife is a stupid,self centered piece of shit. Live without her and wait for her to come crawling back. You can do it!

 

[pole]

just want to say that I'm sorry about your cat. I hope your little buddy is in a better place.

 

[perfectstorm]

You are lucky she left.
there is a free online book that gave me the strength to overcome and recognize abuse by my disordered jerk. Google "What Makes Narcissists Tick by Kathy Krajco. She writes in such a clear big-sister badass way. It is really a good energizer to light the bulbs to what you've been thru. You are worth going thru the process. You are not nothing and neither was ypur cat. My husband left me with a newborn and 23 years later he just abused me today. I am laughing at him. He is a pathetic coward. But he left me in ruins financially and I never overcame it. No contact is best.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

A bit of background on me is that I can't let go of things. They stick with me no matter how hard I try. I remember things too well and that adds to me not being able to let go. I've been suicidal for a long time and this just feels like the breaking point. There's no reason for me to continue on or start over. CTB and reuniting with my cat and grandparents is what I want. Death is scary, but it will be the last time I'm afraid of anything.

 

[Daft-Bear]

I'm sorry you're going through that. If it makes you feel better, a girlfriend left me promptly after I lost my job, days before telling me she can't imagine life with anyone else. She had a habit of crying when I needed to talk about our relationship. She was married, I think, a month or two later to someone else.

Men go through some serious emotional and mental abuse, but in general, no one talks about it. It's pretty messed up that we gotta endure it alone and silently. I wonder why men kill themselves 4x as often as women…

 

[jacrispy]

hey man. have seen you post a few times on the rebreather thread. in the same boat as you. was abused/manipulated by a woman and didn't realize it until I talked about it with others. being taken seriously about it as a man is very difficult because we're expected to suppress our feelings, all the other toxic bullshit, etc. she blessed you with abandonment in your greatest time of need. anyone who tells you it's not worth feeling this way over someone else and there are billions of other people out there isn't going to make it any less painful. when you put your care into someone else and give them a piece of you, they take it with you when they leave. coupling that with your cat passing away is on another level of being fucked up. it's pretty obvious you don't want to stick around, but if you'd like to talk about it feel free to send me a message. having someone to listen can lessen the pain, even if it's just for a moment. sorry you're going through this shit. it fucking sucks.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

@jacrispy thanks for the offer. Thanks to your thread about the rebreather I was able to find what seems to be the most effective and peaceful end I can hope for. I looked forward to every update you had on it because it gave me so much hope that it was going to be the answer I was looking for. Thank you for all that information. Just 6 more days and I'll be buying my own rebreather.

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

Yeah its abuse, especially if you didn't nothing wrong or just some mistake but with good intention

 

[jacrispy]

@jacrispy thanks for the offer. Thanks to your thread about the rebreather I was able to find what seems to be the most effective and peaceful end I can hope for. I looked forward to every update you had on it because it gave me so much hope that it was going to be the answer I was looking for. Thank you for all that information. Just 6 more days and I'll be buying my own rebreather.

you're welcome, glad to be of help. not sure if you saw but someone else tested the rebreather and said it worked perfectly. 3 breaths and they pulled the mask away because if they hit 4 they would have been unconscious. it was very peaceful for them aside from the headache that came from not going through with it fully. I will be gone Tuesday. if you have any questions or want to talk at all, the offer stands. if we don't speak before then, I truly hope you find some relief from the pain you're feeling. no one deserves to feel the way that you are now.