Venting Just real life problems hitting on me

[darkdarkdark]

I applied for teaching English to kids(i'm in Korea) and I got hired.
The contract stated that I have to work at least 6 month for each student.
I ordered my SN and it's on its way.
I plan to ctb by the end of the month.
But I don't have antiemetics so I'm scared that I'm going to fail.
If I fail, I might have to live till September to finish my contract with the students I have already decided to teach.
And my contract with this house ends in August, so I might not have a place to stay after August.
My parents told me that they cannot afford me financially continuously.
So there's a money problem, too.
Yeah didn't really think this through when I was applying and making contracts.
Now I feel like I have to ctb otherwise real life issues will hit me hard.
Just venting.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

I haven't tried SN, but Stan's Guide(available in Suicide Resource Compilation) recommends to use it. I think you would be likely to throw up and fail if you didn't take it.
Obtaining antiemetics itself can be a challenge, though.

Sorry for your situation. Whatever the decision you make, I wish you the best.

 

[thevaccumguy]

Good Luck mate. Whatever you decide, good luck..............

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a tiring and stressful situation to be in, and it's very much understandable wishing to be free from all problems and suffering. But anyway, I wish you the best.

 

[anguila_anguila]

I applied for teaching English to kids(i'm in Korea) and I got hired.
The contract stated that I have to work at least 6 month for each student.
I ordered my SN and it's on its way.
I plan to ctb by the end of the month.
But I don't have antiemetics so I'm scared that I'm going to fail.
If I fail, I might have to live till September to finish my contract with the students I have already decided to teach.
And my contract with this house ends in August, so I might not have a place to stay after August.
My parents told me that they cannot afford me financially continuously.
So there's a money problem, too.
Yeah didn't really think this through when I was applying and making contracts.
Now I feel like I have to ctb otherwise real life issues will hit me hard.
Just venting.

I don't understand why this is so bad, or are there other more pressing issues leading you to this point?


The 6 months teaching might be fun and might inspire you to keep going, plus if you are being paid, then it should be enough to rent a condo and go travelling etc, so you won't have to reply on your parent's money.
Maybe it isn't as bad as you think?

 

[FlameWhisperer]

But I don't have antiemetics so I'm scared that I'm going to fail.

From what other have shared with me, and what I have read, antiemetics are not really a must to CTB using SN. It just makes it extra probable that the SN does what's intended. But still very possible to CTB without antiemetics, just make sure you have extra glasses with SN in case you puke.