just picked up a very special package :D

[kittyswift]

Hello everyone im so happy!! i just picked up my parcel with my supplies which will enable me to ctb :D im sure you all know what it is *cough* SN… *cough cough*. I was so nervous while collecting it, i had to tell them my name quite a few times and had to keep getting my ID out and i was so paranoid they knew what it was and were just delaying me until the police can get there and cart me away to a mental hospital but luckily that did not happen and i have my supplies safely in my possession. I really wasn't expecting it to arrive so soon or at all really, because im in the UK. i don't really feel comfortable sharing my source, so im really sorry to anyone who was going to ask. I feel like im rambling but im just so excited. i really think i can pull everything off this time. i have had so many failed attempts and have been "saved" or things have just fallen through, but this time it really feels right. i have a few things to sort out before i carry out my plan but part of me is thinking just fuck it and carry out my plan and get tf out of here immediately! but i will try not to be impulsive and will hopefully be gone by the end of the week! or maybe sooner? longer? i dont know. im kind of amazed that i have (almost) pulled this off. i need to set a date but i really have no idea. sometimes i wake up and look outside and think: is today a good day to die? so i might just do that and when it feels right i will do it. thank you for reading my silly rambling

 

[Tesha]

It feels so much better once you have a means available to you, doesn't it? Well, it did for me anyway - took a whole load of pressure off. Well done for not cracking at the collection centre!

Don't force yourself into setting a date, if it will trigger anxiety - you've got what you need now, so that's the main barrier out of the way.

I wish you the best with whatever decision or timeframe you choose.

 

[kittyswift]

It feels so much better once you have a means available to you, doesn't it? Well, it did for me anyway - took a whole load of pressure off. Well done for not cracking at the collection centre!

Don't force yourself into setting a date, if it will trigger anxiety - you've got what you need now, so that's the main barrier out of the way.

I wish you the best with whatever decision or timeframe you choose.

its kind of surprising how happy and relieved i feel. i feel so much better just knowing i have the stuff there for when i need it. youre right, theres no rush and most of the work is done. thank you for the kind wishes

 

[rozeske]

I'm happy for you. I can imagine how relieving it must be having it on hand. I can't wait for that feeling too. Remember it lasts long so no rush and if you take it remember it works fast that there's almost no chance of backing out so keep that in mind.

 

[busrider]

I'm so happy for you!! I just picked up my SN too! Tuesday I will get test strips and I'll be sure that SN is pureenough. If everything goes according to plan I will CTB at the most - in February 2025, but of course I hope it will happen sooner. I will definitely write something, if you make a goodbye thread, wish you a peaceful journey

 

[kittyswift]

I'm happy for you. I can imagine how relieving it must be having it on hand. I can't wait for that feeling too. Remember it lasts long so no rush and if you take it remember it works fast that there's almost no chance of backing out so keep that in mind.

i will keep this in mind, thank you! i hope you get this feeling soon

I'm so happy for you!! I just picked up my SN too! Tuesday I will get test strips and I'll be sure that SN is pureenough. If everything goes according to plan I will CTB at the most - in February 2025, but of course I hope it will happen sooner. I will definitely write something, if you make a goodbye thread, wish you a peaceful journey

tysm. im very happy for you too! this is such a lovely community. best wishes

 

[locked*n*loaded]

sometimes i wake up and look outside and think: is today a good day to die? so i might just do that.........

I did something like that once. Years and years ago, I had a crap job I couldn't stand any longer. I woke up on the day in question and a thought came to me - "today's a good day to be fired". I was in college at the time, going to school and working a job at the same time. The employer worked around my school hours. Anyway, it just so happened that my boss was off that day and another employee was put in charge, an employee I didn't get along with. I had no idea my boss was going to be off that day and this other person put in charge. Well, I made my deliveries for the day, came back to the store, and was proceding to get ready to leave because I had a class to attend when this other employee told me I needed to make a couple more deliveries. I told him there was no time, that I would miss my class if I did, and that I wouldn't do it. He told me that if I didn't, that I was fired. I told him to eff-off and I just left. I could have went to the owner and told him what was going on, but instead just went along with how it all was playing out and then that was that. It was like it was meant to be.

Congrats on receiving your magic powder, OP. Good luck.

 

[JessIsAlive]

its kind of surprising how happy and relieved i feel. i feel so much better just knowing i have the stuff there for when i need it. youre right, theres no rush and most of the work is done. thank you for the kind wishes

i can only imagine the relief you feel, congratulations and good luck with whatever you intend to do, i just wish i could say the same thing, any chance your SN source ships to Canada and you can share it with me?

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel relief, I wish you the best.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

After following along the process of you being in a psychiatric hospital and how it was for you, I'm not surprised you feel so happy and relieved for having received your SN. Sounds like the universe decided to finally give you a break.

Try to relax as best you can, the hard part is done and you have what you need in your possession. It is the moment to breathe out a sigh of relief and enjoy a bit of calmness. SN lasts a long time from what I've seen so you can take your time and do it when you feel ready.

I wish you all the best, you've been through so much, you deserve things going well for once

 

[kittyswift]

After following along the process of you being in a psychiatric hospital and how it was for you, I'm not surprised you feel so happy and relieved for having received your SN. Sounds like the universe decided to finally give you a break.

Try to relax as best you can, the hard part is done and you have what you need in your possession. It is the moment to breathe out a sigh of relief and enjoy a bit of calmness. SN lasts a long time from what I've seen so you can take your time and do it when you feel ready.

I wish you all the best, you've been through so much, you deserve things going well for once

thank you so much. it really means a lot thank you for the kind wishes

 

[complex]

Hello everyone im so happy!! i just picked up my parcel with my supplies which will enable me to ctb :D im sure you all know what it is *cough* SN… *cough cough*. I was so nervous while collecting it, i had to tell them my name quite a few times and had to keep getting my ID out and i was so paranoid they knew what it was and were just delaying me until the police can get there and cart me away to a mental hospital but luckily that did not happen and i have my supplies safely in my possession. I really wasn't expecting it to arrive so soon or at all really, because im in the UK. i don't really feel comfortable sharing my source, so im really sorry to anyone who was going to ask. I feel like im rambling but im just so excited. i really think i can pull everything off this time. i have had so many failed attempts and have been "saved" or things have just fallen through, but this time it really feels right. i have a few things to sort out before i carry out my plan but part of me is thinking just fuck it and carry out my plan and get tf out of here immediately! but i will try not to be impulsive and will hopefully be gone by the end of the week! or maybe sooner? longer? i dont know. im kind of amazed that i have (almost) pulled this off. i need to set a date but i really have no idea. sometimes i wake up and look outside and think: is today a good day to die? so i might just do that and when it feels right i will do it. thank you for reading my silly rambling

I cannot say how envious i am you found a way to obtain the special ingredient i am missing. I to am UK based and struggling to obtain it and all other ways terrify me or have failed me. I am not tech savvy and have failed to source it but i get you not sharing your ways.
I hope you achieve all u need to and want to before/if /when you go x

 

[kittyswift]

i think Wednesday afternoon feels right. will reassess Wednesday morning but thats my rough idea. this gives me some time to do what i need to do and emotionally prepare for this. will keep updating!

 

[NoPoint280491]

Wish I could have posted this

 

[drraculaurra]

I'm so happy for you!! I just picked up my SN too! Tuesday I will get test strips and I'll be sure that SN is pureenough. If everything goes according to plan I will CTB at the most - in February 2025, but of course I hope it will happen sooner. I will definitely write something, if you make a goodbye thread, wish you a peaceful journey

Hi! i'm sorry to ask but could you PM me your source if thats something you're comfortable with?

 

[kittyswift]

another update: i might just do it now tbh. why wait right? its not like any of the things i was going to do will matter when im dead

 

[drraculaurra]

another update: i might just do it now tbh. why wait right? its not like any of the things i was going to do will matter when im dead

is there nothing left that you want to do/try before?

 

[kittyswift]

is there nothing left that you want to do/try before?

i mean i was just going to tie up some loose ends but it doesn't really matter. id rather just get out of here. im happy with the notes i wrote. i think that will be enough

 

[drraculaurra]

i mean i was just going to tie up some loose ends but it doesn't really matter. id rather just get out of here. im happy with the notes i wrote. i think that will be enough

I don't want to be pushy but you can only die once, are you reaalllyy sure that there's nothing that you want to taste or see or anything?
But if you're set on that idea i hope that you can pass peacefully♥

 

[kittyswift]

I don't want to be pushy but you can only die once, are you reaalllyy sure that there's nothing that you want to taste or see or anything?
But if you're set on that idea i hope that you can pass peacefully♥

yeah. nothing is worth more than doing this. thank you for asking though! you're not being pushy at all don't worry

 

[NoPoint280491]

another update: i might just do it now tbh. why wait right? its not like any of the things i was going to do will matter when im dead

This is how I feel. Like I have money saved etc that I'd want family to be able to access but also... what's the point? I added my sister to my Google Photos account which has been saving thousands of my pictures since 2013 so they can have my memories and have something for my funeral but money and stuff... cba

 

[busrider]

Hi! i'm sorry to ask but could you PM me your source if thats something you're comfortable with?

I live in Russia and ordered the SN from a private manufacturer who does not deliver abroad