voool

voool

Experienced
Sep 18, 2018
261
I can't take this anymore. Not even the ketamine can help, it only helps for an hour. My life is hell. I have no future and my peers are graduating from college this year. I have failed and destroyed my health in doing so. I just want to leave. I know it will bring stigma to my family but it's too much for me.

I ordered the amitriptyline off indiamart but I still need the metoclopramide. I'll get that off Ebay. I have to do this all with po boxs which makes everything even harder. I'm done.

I want to lay down after a few drinks, dose the amitriptyline, take the benzos then sit there with my last thoughts.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jc40, Void115, throwaway777 and 4 others
D

Donewith_

Elementalist
Sep 28, 2018
876
you have prescription? how much amount did you order?
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals
voool

voool

Experienced
Sep 18, 2018
261
you have prescription? how much amount did you order?
I ordered 100 75mg pills off indiamart. I dont know if it's a scam or not but I've ordered other meds off there and got them. I will know by Monday when he gives me the tracking. But it is PayPal so I have recourse.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jc40 and RaphtaliaTwoAnimals
D

Donewith_

Elementalist
Sep 28, 2018
876
i see. just wondering how they okayed. they told me they sell for only business people. hope you get them. keep this thread updated
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals
voool

voool

Experienced
Sep 18, 2018
261
i see. just wondering how they okayed. they told me they sell for only business people. hope you get them. keep this thread updated
You just have to email alot of them. Download the indiamart app and hit up every sell. Some do wholesale some do personal use amounts.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jc40
D

Donewith_

Elementalist
Sep 28, 2018
876
You just have to email alot of them. Download the indiamart app and hit up every sell. Some do wholesale some do personal use amounts.

i see.. yeah..i have tried a lot before a while. all of the sellers who got back to me told that they sell to business people. i dont know that they sell indvidually too. how much did it cost.. if it is ok saying
 
voool

voool

Experienced
Sep 18, 2018
261
i see.. yeah..i have tried a lot before a while. all of the sellers who got back to me told that they sell to business people. i dont know that they sell indvidually too. how much did it cost.. if it is ok saying
The pills were 10 dollars for 100(which is expensive for Indian amitriptyline) but 35 for shipping. I will see on Monday if he provides tracking or not. If he doesn't I'll open a dispute
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jc40 and Donewith_
R

Roberto

Wizard
Jan 19, 2019
684
I ordered 100 75mg pills off indiamart. I dont know if it's a scam or not but I've ordered other meds off there and got them. I will know by Monday when he gives me the tracking. But it is PayPal so I have recourse.
I bought it some years ago also from India. I haven't ctb yet. I found a girlfriend and a job, so I postponed.
What did happen to your health?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jc40
voool

voool

Experienced
Sep 18, 2018
261
I bought it some years ago also from India. I haven't ctb yet. I found a girlfriend and a job, so I postponed.
What did happen to your health?
Neurological problems
 
R

Roberto

Wizard
Jan 19, 2019
684
Just remember the slow acting diazepam and a fast acting sleeping pills. And cimetidine to hasten the effects.
Do you take antidepressants? Have you been in therapy? I'm currently with a psychologist.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jc40 and Donewith_
voool

voool

Experienced
Sep 18, 2018
261
Just remember the slow acting diazepam and a fast acting sleeping pills. And cimetidine to hasten the effects.
Do you take antidepressants? Have you been in therapy? I'm currently with a psychologist.
Yeah I'm on a bunch of meds.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Roberto
F

Final_frontier

Student
Feb 23, 2019
156
I too have lagged behind in college while my peers have graduated, due to mental illness. I just don't have the guts to go through with ctb. When the moment comes, i chicken out. Fear of the unknown.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Roberto, Jc40 and throwaway777
voool

voool

Experienced
Sep 18, 2018
261
I too have lagged behind in college while my peers have graduated, due to mental illness. I just don't have the guts to go through with ctb. When the moment comes, i chicken out. Fear of the unknown.
Sorry:/
 
  • Like
Reactions: Roberto
Can'tStandAnymore

Can'tStandAnymore

Custom title
Mar 16, 2019
234
@voool How is it going?

Did you get the meds?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ssrejisser and Roberto
GeorgeJL

GeorgeJL

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2019
1,621
I hope you find your peace. Good luck.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Roberto

Similar threads

TiredofLife-Thanks
Replies
3
Views
547
Suicide Discussion
TiredofLife-Thanks
TiredofLife-Thanks
D
Replies
2
Views
170
Suicide Discussion
dogthebenzohunter
D
sevennn
Replies
14
Views
385
Suicide Discussion
Fangarina
F
TraumaEscapee:)
Replies
0
Views
122
Suicide Discussion
TraumaEscapee:)
TraumaEscapee:)
anastenka
Replies
4
Views
443
Suicide Discussion
pip89909000
P