Just not good enough

[Tats31]

just a quick post new to the site. I've struggled with my emotions since I was very young. Brought up in a pretty defunctional family . Is that a word or have I made it up defunctional !!! Any how it pretty much describes my upbringing. I'm sure that people have had worse but for some reason mine has effected me to a point we're in now 46 and in a loveless marriage. I've thought about suicide all mylife but now it almost seems it could be a realty. A way of escaping all the anxiety all the sadness. And the feeling of never being good enough