U
_unique_username_
Member
- Mar 16, 2022
- 5
If the dearly departed are really having a good time on the other side, does it not make more sense to cross over? Seeing that there's more suffering by staying on this side longer because no matter how hard or how much I try, it seems like it's trying to show me that I'm just not made for this life. Even when I fulfill the criteria for things to work out like how it did for others, some bad weird shit just seems to keep happening to me. It's been really hard to make life work and hard to make life more bearable to live in this new reality. Seems like I'm being kept alive just enough to continue enduring shit and heartbreak. If I know for sure what happens after we die, the choice will be so much easier and I can make the necessary arrangements to make sure that my close/loved ones are covered and taken care of when I go. Right now, it'll be venturing into the unknown, and I'm not sure if it's worth it to take the chances yet. Still pondering and trying to stay realistic. I wouldn't even have to make this choice if life starts falling into place, but doors keep getting shut and walls are closing in. I've been trying really hard to make life more bearable to cope with someone else's suicide, but things always seem to go wrong with those efforts and maybe that dark void is calling out to me to come on over. I want to end my life before it starts becoming worse, a bitter one filled with regrets. Even worse if I start lashing out on the people around me, wanting to drag them down with me because my own life hasn't been working out. I better end it before those things start happening. Would be nice if the good things start falling into place, but it doesn't seem to be happening any time soon and enduring is becoming more difficult as time passes by.
I'll be coming back to this post to add more thoughts as they come.
I'll be coming back to this post to add more thoughts as they come.
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