Just made arrangements to surrender my dog and ordered my SN

[Grandexit]

One of the to-do items on my list is rehome my pets. Last year I foster failed and adopted a dog that I really had no business adopting. She was not a good fit with my lifestyle and I wasn't thinking clearly. Lately, some behavior has gotten worse, and I made arrangements to return her to the rescue I adopted her from tomorrow. With my emotional problems I can't help this dog, and if I will CTB, she needs a new home anyway. My other dog will be so upset. I told my mother about returning the dog and she was so relieved! She insisted I travel to her for fucking Christmas. Like returning my dog is nothing more than returning a sweater. I don't know how I'm going to be able to go on knowing she's sitting in dog jail, alone and confused. This afternoon she was running in the backyard chasing squirrels, tomorrow she will be in a cold concrete kennel.

Then I went on a popular shopping website and ordered SN. I feel so hollow, I just want to scream and keep screaming until I can't anymore. I hate every day more than the one that proceeded it.

This is the only place on earth I can share this information. I really loathe my life.

 

[Ark]

I am sorry you are enduring such pain and anguish. I hope you find the peace you deserve no matter how.

I am happy you are doing what's best foryour pets though. A lot of people act hastily and their pets suffer for it.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

It is the responsible thing to do to make best efforts to rehome your pets before ctb.
You sound like a very caring person and I give you credit for planning ahead despite the pain.
You returned her to the same rescue, and they use foster homes. These are things that make me think that she will be fostered/adopted again.
Planning ctb is a roller coaster, and it takes time. Be kind to yourself. If you decide not to, support is available.
You can't control your mother's reaction. A lot of people from older generations (not all) have different thoughts about animal companions.

 

[Jean4]

This is one of the reasons I am still here. I can't leave my cats. I feel your pain, but you are doing the right thing.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

@Jean4, I admire your stoicism as you face extreme circumstances.

 

[Grandexit]

It is the responsible thing to do to make best efforts to rehome your pets before ctb.
You sound like a very caring person and I give you credit for planning ahead despite the pain.
You returned her to the same rescue, and they use foster homes. These are things that make me think that she will be fostered/adopted again.
Planning ctb is a roller coaster, and it takes time. Be kind to yourself. If you decide not to, support is available.
You can't control your mother's reaction. A lot of people from older generations (not all) have different thoughts about animal companions.

Thank you.

 

[Moonicide]

I'm so sorry, love. I absolutely adore animals and having to rehome them before our plans to ctb can be very heartbreaking. But you are doing the right thing and I think it says so much about you more than anything that you are planning this out with much thought, and much love for your pets. It's not easy, and I know in a way you may feel like you have failed them, but there will be someone that will care for them and love them when you are finally resting and at peace. They will be loved. Please try to remember that. I know it's hard and this is a shitty situation for anyone to be in... Wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Sending you lots of love and support.
We're here for you.

 

[Oppenheimer]

I worked into a conversation with my sister (who has two cats) the fact that this is a dangerous world, and if she would addopt my cat if something happened to me. She said "yes, of course". That was such a relief.