Just knowing that ctb is the way I'll go

[TVtrays]

Hey, everyone. I've been kind of observing things here and I'm glad I found this site. I know it's futile to search suicide methods on any search engine because the results are flooded with inspiration porn, but I searched anyway and somehow, I came across an article about this site and I honestly didn't waste any time in coming here and registering. I'm tired of "it gets better" and "I know deep down you don't want to die" because it doesn't help.
A little background about myself and why I'm suicidal, I am a trans woman, I've got BPD, Anxiety, CPTSD and a host of other issues. I'm living with my abusive parents and because of my mental illness,I've been stagnant in progressing in life. I've kinda won the genetic lottery when it came to my transition but that's only led to regrettable and impulsive nights with lots of men.
I've known for at least five years now that this is the way I'd go. I've had multiple half assed attempts and countless "close calls" where I've said my goodbyes to everyone and I'm sitting at a bridge with a noose with this annoying little voice trying to talk me out of it. I'm sure most of you can relate to the pesky survival instinct. Otherwise, the thought of death doesn't scare me. It's literally that little survival instinct keeping me around but in the end, I know I will certainly ctb one day.

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

Hey, everyone. I've been kind of observing things here and I'm glad I found this site. I know it's futile to search suicide methods on any search engine because the results are flooded with inspiration porn, but I searched anyway and somehow, I came across an article about this site and I honestly didn't waste any time in coming here and registering. I'm tired of "it gets better" and "I know deep down you don't want to die" because it doesn't help.
A little background about myself and why I'm suicidal, I am a trans woman, I've got BPD, Anxiety, CPTSD and a host of other issues. I'm living with my abusive parents and because of my mental illness,I've been stagnant in progressing in life. I've kinda won the genetic lottery when it came to my transition but that's only led to regrettable and impulsive nights with lots of men.
I've known for at least five years now that this is the way I'd go. I've had multiple half assed attempts and countless "close calls" where I've said my goodbyes to everyone and I'm sitting at a bridge with a noose with this annoying little voice trying to talk me out of it. I'm sure most of you can relate to the pesky survival instinct. Otherwise, the thought of death doesn't scare me. It's literally that little survival instinct keeping me around but in the end, I know I will certainly ctb one day.

Every time we get a new member due to the publicity they say the same thing. I'm thankful you have found a place where you can be yourself and feel at home.

Welcome!!!

 

[Superfluous]

Every time we get a new member due to the publicity they say the same thing. I'm thankful you have found a place where you can be yourself and feel at home.

Welcome!!!

Not that new. Joined before you . Just their 1st post. Welcome aboard. We're here to help in any way we can.

 

[GeorgeJL]

Hey, everyone. I've been kind of observing things here and I'm glad I found this site. I know it's futile to search suicide methods on any search engine because the results are flooded with inspiration porn, but I searched anyway and somehow, I came across an article about this site and I honestly didn't waste any time in coming here and registering. I'm tired of "it gets better" and "I know deep down you don't want to die" because it doesn't help.
A little background about myself and why I'm suicidal, I am a trans woman, I've got BPD, Anxiety, CPTSD and a host of other issues. I'm living with my abusive parents and because of my mental illness,I've been stagnant in progressing in life. I've kinda won the genetic lottery when it came to my transition but that's only led to regrettable and impulsive nights with lots of men.
I've known for at least five years now that this is the way I'd go. I've had multiple half assed attempts and countless "close calls" where I've said my goodbyes to everyone and I'm sitting at a bridge with a noose with this annoying little voice trying to talk me out of it. I'm sure most of you can relate to the pesky survival instinct. Otherwise, the thought of death doesn't scare me. It's literally that little survival instinct keeping me around but in the end, I know I will certainly ctb one day.

Welcome aboard, trans are welcome. Just curious could you point us to the article that brought you here?

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

Not that new. Joined before you . Just their 1st post. Welcome aboard. We're here to help in any way we can.

Thanks for pointing that out. Sometimes I miss things. Blame it on my ADD

 

[TVtrays]

I can't exactly remember. I think it was a více article

Welcome aboard, trans are welcome. Just curious could you point us to the article that brought you here?

 

[stillwoozy]

Welcome! I'm sorry you're here, but I'm glad you found this forum <3
Feel free to message me if you want to talk about anything!

 

[Cleopatra123]

Welcome! I'm sorry you're here, but I'm glad you found this forum <3
Feel free to message me if you want to talk about anything!

Thank you very much. I have been trying to post and answer correctly, but I have a few questions that I am confused about. I don't know if I have permission to PM, chat yet? I don't see an "information" link on my profile, actually I see nothing there. I put my email somewhere and can't find it,??? but I would like to delete it. Please accept my thanks for providing this forum. I have had no message of any "permission", that I can find. Thanks again
Please excuse me again, I was communicating with a member, I started a "conversation", which I deleted as I realized it wasn't a PM, and now I can't find her or our conversation. Can you help me again PLEASE. Thanks