Just got the last push I needed

[Exhausted546]

Received a ultimatum before I'm homeless, I was gonna die anyway but this just made things alot easier.

Only issue with doing it today is that the friend that got me sent to psych ward has been overly insisting to hang out today. He's a healthcare professional, it'll be more like a "suicidal risk evaluation" than a genuine hanging out. He wouldn't take no for an answer and I feel he's already suspicious.

If I don't reply to his texts and calls anymore he will 100% call the cops. I managed to postpone meeting him until 5pm ish. Anyway I'll be alone at 4pm.

If I don't reply between 5pm EST and wednesday afternoon, then you can assume I'm dead already
I hope ill lose consciousness fast enough. I don't even have the energy to clean my room before doing it. I'd do it outside of it wasn't so damn cold. Maybe getting a motel would have been wiser. Hope it doesn't devalue the house too much when my dad sells it

 

[Exhausted546]

First attempt failed God damn ,my setup wasn't as secure as I thought. I kicked the chair but then my feet hit the floor. My friend just texted me, at this point I'll have to call it quits for today, he's the type that will call the cops if I don't reply in the next 20ish mins.

Someone warned me that my set up might not work. They ended up being right, im still unsure of what went wrong exactly. As the noose tightened, my feet ended up touching the floor. It might be related to the anchor on the other side of the door. I'm kinda fucking annoyed RN

i have the towel + 2L bottle to help secure the anchors point on the other side of the door as explained by another user but I don't have any more time to test it out

 

[WallTermite]

Are you still with us?

 

[Exhausted546]

Alright the plans to hang out with my friend got postponed. I don't have much longer at home so I'm now trying to figure out what went wrong with my setup while I'm still alone

Are you still with us?

I sadly am,I'm gonna revisit the tips I was given with the anchor point on the other side of the door
Edit: I now understood exactly what I did wrong. + My rope is way too long, I have to cut it shorter.

I'll at least test it out before anyone comes home

 

[Vinqts]

look, i really dont want you to feel guilty, but id honestly wouldnt be able to fall asleep for days if i was that healthcare friend
who says he will call the cops. just .. think about him for a min if you aint dead yet
again i dont want you to feel guilty im sorry i dont know how to phrase this well

 

[Baisley]

Do you just put your head into the noose and the knot will slide and adjust itself or do you need to adjust the knot yourself?

 

[Vinqts]

Alright the plans to hang out with my friend got postponed. I don't have much longer at home so I'm now trying to figure out what went wrong with my setup while I'm still alone

I sadly am,I'm gonna revisit the tips I was given with the anchor point on the other side of the door
Edit: I now understood exactly what I did wrong. + My rope is way too long, I have to cut it shorter.

I'll at least test it out before anyone comes home

and if you are dead now, rest well i hope your troubles are gone now

 

[Exhausted546]

Do you just put your head into the noose and the knot will slide and adjust itself or do you need to adjust the knot yourself?

It adjusted itself around my neck, it was still strangling me even as I hit the floor. I had to find a way to get back on the chair just so I could remove the noose, otherwise my neck was trapped.

I just ran into another issue, my door has no way of being locked aside from my bathroom door. Although I am worried, how will anyone manage to get in without breaking the door? Maybe I should really be doing this in a motel instead?

look, i really dont want you to feel guilty, but id honestly wouldnt be able to fall asleep for days if i was that healthcare friend
who says he will call the cops. just .. think about him for a min if you aint dead yet
again i dont want you to feel guilty im sorry i dont know how to phrase this well

I admit if my attempt had succeeded that might have hurt him but the hanging out session got postponed to friday. Tomorrow should be successful or at the latest Thursday, he won't need to feel guilty

 

[Vinqts]

It adjusted itself around my neck, it was still strangling me even as I hit the floor. I had to find a way to get back on the chair just so I could remove the noose, otherwise my neck was trapped.

I just ran into another issue, my door has no way of being locked aside from my bathroom door. Although I am worried, how will anyone manage to get in without breaking the door? Maybe I should really be doing this in a motel instead?

I admit if my attempt had succeeded that might have hurt him but the hanging out session got postponed to friday. Tomorrow should be successful or at the latest Thursday, he won't need to feel guilty

how so? i mean in theory you still kill yourself and he finds out and feels guilty because he would feel like he didnt do enough to ''save you'' ,

if you wanna talk about something before tommorow i can give you my discord if you have one

 

[Exhausted546]

how so? i mean in theory you still kill yourself and he finds out and feels guilty because he would feel like he didnt do enough to ''save you'' ,

if you wanna talk about something before tommorow i can give you my discord if you have one

He did more than enough, he has nothing to feel guilty over, he even sent me to psych ward, I'm just determined to do it. Nothing he could do about that

 

[Vinqts]

He did more than enough, he has nothing to feel guilty over, he even sent me to psych ward, I'm just determined to do it. Nothing he could do about that

are you sure? guilt is something that cant easily go away. yeah in your perspective he did the most, but in his perspective he probably dosent think that way

 

[Exhausted546]

are you sure? guilt is something that cant easily go away. yeah in your perspective he did the most, but in his perspective he probably dosent think that way

He'll be fine. What else could he have done, get me in psych ward for months? No thank you.

THere's no ppl in your entourage that would feel guilty if you ctb?

 

[Vinqts]

He'll be fine. What else could he have done, get me in psych ward for months? No thank you.

THere's no ppl in your entourage that would feel guilty if you ctb?

i dont know man i did have ctb thoughts but i never really went far to actually act. but i did have many friends who tried to do so and everytime
i felt horrible because even though it wasnt my fault, i kept thinking that it was

 

[Exhausted546]

i dont know man i did have ctb thoughts but i never really went far to actually act. but i did have many friends who tried to do so and everytime
i felt horrible because even though it wasnt my fault, i kept thinking that it was

You're a good person. Aside from my childhood best friend that killed himself years after we last had contact. I'm the only person I know in my circle that had a suicide attempt. But it's true I never go more than 2 days without thinking of him and it's already been a decade however I never felt like it was because of me. Although maybe if I reached out he's still be alive. Not sure how to feel about that but it's not enough to convince me to keep struggling

Anyway I'm at least glad I had the courage to kick the chair. Next time it'll work

 

[Vinqts]

You're a good person. Aside from my childhood best friend that killed himself years after we last had contact. I'm the only person I know in my circle that had a suicide attempt. But it's true I never go more than 2 days without thinking of him and it's already been a decade.

Anyway I'm at least glad I had the courage to kick the chair. Next time it'll work

did you write the note? or if you got any valuables or personal matters did you write how you'd want them to be treated or something
yeah theres probably not much to look up to concidering that you said youre almost homeless

maybe get a pet to keep you company or something to get your mind off one last time? just giving suggestions in case you havent thought about them

 

[Vinqts]

You're a good person. Aside from my childhood best friend that killed himself years after we last had contact. I'm the only person I know in my circle that had a suicide attempt. But it's true I never go more than 2 days without thinking of him and it's already been a decade however I never felt like it was because of me. Although maybe if I reached out he's still be alive. Not sure how to feel about that but it's not enough to convince me to keep struggling

Anyway I'm at least glad I had the courage to kick the chair. Next time it'll work

your friend in healthcare will probbaly feel the same but again you already got a shitload on your back so i understand that you still wanna ctb

 

[Vinqts]

You're a good person. Aside from my childhood best friend that killed himself years after we last had contact. I'm the only person I know in my circle that had a suicide attempt. But it's true I never go more than 2 days without thinking of him and it's already been a decade however I never felt like it was because of me. Although maybe if I reached out he's still be alive. Not sure how to feel about that but it's not enough to convince me to keep struggling

Anyway I'm at least glad I had the courage to kick the chair. Next time it'll work

its late where i live (prague), so im going to go sleep now. Even if you do kill yourself this night or tommorow when im not on this site i wish you well, i hope the burdens , guilt, and other problems that you have will be lifted form you. At this point its pretty pointless for me to prevent you from ctb, so i just wish you a painless way out of here. I'll probaly never hear form you concidering i dont even know you at all, but you probably dont care about that anyway. If reincarnation exists, i hope your next life will be less miserable than this one
goodbye


(if you wanna msg me ill try to reply)

 

[Exhausted546]

your friend in healthcare will probbaly feel the same but again you already got a shitload on your back so i understand that you still wanna ctb

I hadn't thought of that, this just made my eyes teary lol. I do feel guilty about that but it won't stop me, he will be fine. I do think him alot tho for being the only person that believed in me. Writing this actually made me emotional. It's too late for me though. I'll try again tomorrow,hopefully I succeed this time

I forgot to include him in my suicide note, I absolutely will now

 

[SufferingInDenmark]

Alright the plans to hang out with my friend got postponed. I don't have much longer at home so I'm now trying to figure out what went wrong with my setup while I'm still alone

I sadly am,I'm gonna revisit the tips I was given with the anchor point on the other side of the door
Edit: I now understood exactly what I did wrong. + My rope is way too long, I have to cut it shorter.

I'll at least test it out before anyone comes home

how is this done? did they cut a hole in the bottle and attach the rope in there?

 

[Exhausted546]

did you write the note? or if you got any valuables or personal matters did you write how you'd want them to be treated or something
yeah theres probably not much to look up to concidering that you said youre almost homeless

maybe get a pet to keep you company or something to get your mind off one last time? just giving suggestions in case you havent thought about them

I did but only on my PC ,they might never see it. I'm way too lazy to write it down with my hand, although I can print what I wrote on my word document.

My only valuable is my gaming PC. My siblings have much better PCs than I do. So I guess everything will be thrown in the trash. There are some traditional clothing of mine I hold dearly, I'm kinda pissed that it'll end up in the trash but oh well

how is this done? did they cut a hole in the bottle and attach the rope in there?

 

[Vinqts]

I did but only on my PC ,they might never see it. I'm way too lazy to write it down with my hand, although I can print what I wrote on my word document.

My only valuable is my gaming PC. My siblings have much better PCs than I do. So I guess everything will be thrown in the trash. There are some traditional clothing of mine I hold dearly, I'm kinda pissed that it'll end up in the trash but oh well

I did but only on my PC ,they might never see it. I'm way too lazy to write it down with my hand, although I can print what I wrote on my word document.

My only valuable is my gaming PC. My siblings have much better PCs than I do. So I guess everything will be thrown in the trash. There are some traditional clothing of mine I hold dearly, I'm kinda pissed that it'll end up in the trash but oh well

Dunno if you're still alive but maybe like write how you want your things to be treated, yeaah you should prolly print it I doubt that they would go thru your hard drive.
If you are dead well you prolly read what I wrote last night

 

[Exhausted546]

Dunno if you're still alive but maybe like write how you want your things to be treated, yeaah you should prolly print it I doubt that they would go thru your hard drive.
If you are dead well you prolly read what I wrote last night

My next attempt is in 12h.

I made it be the first thing you'd see if you moved my mouse. Anyway they dismissed my voice my whole life, they'd dismiss my letter even if they did find it

 

[Realog11]

My next attempt is in 12h.

I made it be the first thing you'd see if you moved my mouse. Anyway they dismissed my voice my whole life, they'd dismiss my letter even if they did find it

Good luck

 

[Reishi]

What is your anchor object? I'm curious is all

 

[Vinqts]

My next attempt is in 12h.

I made it be the first thing you'd see if you moved my mouse. Anyway they dismissed my voice my whole life, they'd dismiss my letter even if they did find it

hey dude, hope you found peace now..

 

[Exhausted546]

hey dude, hope you found peace now..

Hey I'm still here, I had some tests to make to my set up but now I'm convinced it'll work. I supported my whole weight with the 2L bottle, it's so tight I have difficulty getting it off. That will be my neck in 22 hours. I don't know how much longer I'll be alone at home so it's too risky to do it tonight.