Just got insulted and threatened at a doctor's office...

[oopswronglife]

I am completely drained. I used up a week's worth of energy in a few hours because of a horrible person. My pretty decent doctor moved so I was seeing a new one today to get established. He wasn't quite as helpful as I had hoped but not the worst so I was going to give it a chance. Enter his nurse who ruined all of that and ruined the day and possibly my treatment future there. She clearly had some massive bias against me and people with my issues. She was abusive and insulting and even made a threat or two. I don't know her. She doesn't know me. I tried to ask her why she was acting that way but that just fueled her and she became more manic and nasty. You know those situations where you cannot win no matter what you do or don't do? Where everything you say, no matter how calm or polite, is used against you as some "evidence" of some predecided notion? It was that. It reminds me of videos of police shouting at someone to GET OUT OF THE CAR and also STOP MOVING where they shoot you next. Can't win.

Of course nobody would intervene or back me up even though they obvously felt uncomfortable with her behavior.They wouldn't rock the boat and just looked at their feet. I asked to speak to an administrator who wasn't "available." There really isn't anywhere else to go, and asking to change to a new service will just take this incident along with it in the records as some proof I am somehow wrong. I used to get so upset and tense when these kinds of things happened, now I am just exhausted and can only "cry on the inside" while my heart rate stays the same like it can't be bothered.

I am so tired of people. 99% are shit and are so selfish and ego driven. No admissions of fault when wrong. No apologies. No empathy. The 1% left are pretty great but its not enough and you can't choose where and when they are. It was shaping up to be at least a survivable weekend but now I am just wiped out and miserable and cannot even TRY to address this until Monday.

 

[Halo13]

I'm so sorry you were treated like that, sincerely. That kind of thing is exactly why I stopped seeking psychiatric help.

 

[oopswronglife]

The thing I can't stop ruminating over is how nobody would support me. It was obvious this was wrong. I asked people to be a witness to this or to get someone to help and they just looked at the floor or shuffled some papers or walked away. I felt entirely alone and powerless as this horrible creature berated me. I am older than her and more educated than her as well so it was just doubly insulting given the nature of what she was saying. If it were only my pride I'd have been over it by the time I left as I don't have many fucks to give to bad people, it's the fact she can influence my care and already has in a very negative way that's the problem. It's going to fuck my entire weekend for sure as I won't be able to stop being upset about it. It's stupid to let one terrible person be the final trigger but I was just in my head there like some art film imagining myself CTB right there while she yelled and imagining her yelling at my corpse with some dramatic zoomed in close up from below of her big mouth yapping. You all know the image I mean. I was totally dehumanized.

 

[Asta]

Really sorry this happened, but try not to let this broad have that kind of power over you. A person like that must be really miserable and is taking it out on everyone around her - though that's certainly no excuse. Are there really no other places to go or doctors to see? BTW, yes! Very funny image!

 

[oopswronglife]

Are there really no other places to go or doctors to see? BTW, yes! Very funny image!

The choices are pretty limited and most aren't accepting new patients. Every time you change it counts against you as well and is called "Doctor Shopping" as if it's wrong to look for one you like. You can't just go interview a doctor, you have to change your entire record to them, wait for the opening, and pay the high costs toTHEN find out if they are a fit or not.

 

[Codieb1]

i would take this situation to the much higher ups, even to lawyers. If people who have power over this person are unwilling to do literally anything, then those people are also held responsible for not taking action.

 

[oopswronglife]

i would take this situation to the much higher ups, even to lawyers. If people who have power over this person are unwilling to do literally anything, then those people are also held responsible for not taking action.

I will try but it's never made any difference and the well is already poisoned. I will have this added as some negative reputation on my side. This sort of thing isn't uncommon and I have NEVER had any positive resolution. Just form letter apologies or "commitments to excellence" crap. People don't choose to do the right thing, and systems are only interested in protecting the system itself. Patients are necessary evils to get paid. I know it sounds whiny but I am exhausted with it and experience has been a cruel teacher.

 

[Jen0804]

Hugs I am am sorry you had to deal with this. I've had my fair share of awful doctors and nurses and psychiatristst

It's bad nobody stepped in to help but I guess they were scared

What do you plan to do, will you complain about her? I really really hope so.

I know you are not in the mood right now but isn't write down all details whilst they are fresh in your memory and when it comes to complaining it will really help you to have quick access to small details

I really wish I could help you in some way.

You have every right to Be upset/angry right now.

Thinking of you

i would take this situation to the much higher ups, even to lawyers. If people who have power over this person are unwilling to do literally anything, then those people are also held responsible for not taking action.

I would too

 

[oopswronglife]

What do you plan to do, will you complain about her? I really really hope so.

I know you are not in the mood right now but isn't write down all details whilst they are fresh in your memory and when it comes to complaining it will really help you to have quick access to small details

Thanks. Yeah I wrote things down and was ignored all day trying to reach administrators. I will try to make a report next week but have little hope it will matter. It's already given the doctor some impression I will be a problem even though I didn't do anything but get yelled at. But when people see someone being treated like that by a coworker they assume it was deserved because "She wouldn't ever treat someone like that for no reason!" and "I have never had a problem with her!" etc. Not my first rodeo with such people. You can't undo first impressions most of the time and people are notoriously difficult to change opinions of even with facts.

 

[Jen0804]

Thanks. Yeah I wrote things down and was ignored all day trying to reach administrators. I will try to make a report next week but have little hope it will matter. It's already given the doctor some impression I will be a problem even though I didn't do anything but get yelled at. But when people see someone being treated like that by a coworker they assume it was deserved.

I understand

However
We can never know what what someone is thinking
These people act this way because they feel they can get away with they know damn well that you are unwell and that you'll probably morning follow through with complaints or lawyer

HOwEVer.... if she has the capacity to mess up the next week whilst you're already suicidal and I need a complete state, if I were you, id make sure I exposed her as much and possible

I've had to report loads of doctors to the medical board
Even If nothing happens , it IS always logged against their name and if so many people report the same thing they mus take action

It sound so like you are not the first person she has done this to

Report her!
LEave reviews online for the practice and you don't have to give her name but let as many people know as you can

Remember to include that you had witnesses

I had a psych tell me to kill myself once in front of three medical students
I reported them and not one student den came forward to give evidence

Yeah... that was hell. But don't let this go please.


Don't let those ***** get away with treating vulnerable people like this

We've all got your back
Also I'm sorry for the spelling mistakes

My phone is such a pain

 

[Pilum Muralis]

I'm sorry this has happened to you. This should never happen, ever. Nurses have a code of ethics they MUST adhere to, just as doctors must.
Report her. If this something habitual, the only way to stop this from happening to others is by calling out the behavior. Don't just file a complaint with the facility, because a lot of times they protect their own, or don't wish to draw negative attention to itself. I worked as an LVN, and saw many instances of nurses getting away with things. I filed a complaint on a nurse once, when my administrator basically tried to placate me, and sweep it under the rug.

If you're in the United States here is a link to all the BON websites according to what state you're in.
https://www.allboardofnursing.com/

If you are out of the States, just look up your countries Board Of Nursing. I tried looking for something, but clearly each country will be different.

Sometimes you can report anonymously, but they may want some details. They may even want pull your medical file (but ONLY with your consent) if there are other complaints, to see if there is a pattern, and to see if any disciplinary action had been taken in the past.

Again, I'm sorry you had to go through this.

 

[oopswronglife]

Yeah... that was hell. But don't let this go please.


Don't let those ***** get away with treating vulnerable people like this

I am going to try, I am not refusing to act or arguing with anyone here, I just have no hope it will matter and I have to sit here all weekend angry before I can even attempt. It never has before and not a single person who has ever harmed me in any way has ever been held accountable. If the people who are supposed to defend and support will not, you can't really get anywhere.

 

[kkatt]

Absolutely complain in writing and keep copies.
They are paid to help you, not abuse you, cause further harm and alienate you.
In making an official complaint, you could prevent this from happening to someone else.
You don't deserve to be treated so badly by anyone, including a healthcare provider.
Just because she's a nurse, doesn't mean she's a good person.
I once saw a doctor (regarding my Chrohns disease) who showed me videos of a woman speaking in tongues, on his phone. Then told me I needed to pray more!!

 

[oopswronglife]

hen told me I needed to pray more!!

I'll pray she gets horrible piles and can never find pants that fit right.

 

[Pilum Muralis]

I am going to try, I am not refusing to act or arguing with anyone here, I just have no hope it will matter and I have to sit here all weekend angry before I can even attempt. It never has before and not a single person who has ever harmed me in any way has ever been held accountable. If the people who are supposed to defend and support will not, you can't really get anywhere.

Unlike medical facilities, who just employ nurses, the Board of Nursing are the ones who can pull their license. The also discipline, and complaints filed through them follow nurses. They're the ones nurses are afraid of, not facility administrators.
And honestly, if she has no previous infractions, nothing may come about it. She may have a stern talking to, or she may even lose her license if she's a repeat offender. At the very least, she will have a record that will follow her and she will know she had complaint filed because of her treatment. She'll think twice about hurting anyone again, if she wants to stay a nurse at least. You may not benefit, but you will have saved someone else being treated so badly.

 

[oopswronglife]

Unlike medical facilities, who just employ nurses, the Board of Nursing are the ones who can pull their license.

I said "nurse" as that's colloquial and what they call themselves but she was only a medical assistant. I will look into their oversight board. Despite the "lowly" position they have a great deal of power as they are the conduit between you and the doctor and the only ones you can communicate with unless you are in an appointment with the doctor himself. Most general practices here don't have actual RNs. I've just written it all up in a document but just have no hope it will matter. I can heard the dismissals and excuses already. I can hear the witnesses lying to preserve workplace harmony or protect a "friend". I have no faith it will alter her behavior or protect anyone else. She was a nasty woman who I am sure isn't suddenly behaving this way. She has surely done it over and over. I wish there were some security footage/audio. I was too shocked and upset to think about recording it with my phone as I thought about later. It's going to be a shit weekend being all worn out over this with no outlet to even complain for days. I just keep replaying the yelling, the patronizing, the insults in my head. I'd never do that to anyone and its infuriating she did this, can affect my care, has gotten so in my head....and goes home to her nice weekend thinking everything is right with the world while she has made such a negative impact on my life. I am always trying to be aware of how my behavior affects others, and try to be a good person. It is usually a one way street and it depresses me so much it hurts. I hate how much it gets to me...but fuck...

 

[Pilum Muralis]

Yeesh.
Not sure who you could report her to, in that case. Most MAs aren't licensed. You may actually get somewhere reporting her to her administrator, in that case.

I don't mean to sound like I love snitching. I just hate when medical staff abuse patients.

 

[AngelGirl]

It makes me really sad.... I remember being treated like shit when I was hospitalized in a psych ward. It was a nightmare and it is so traumatizing.

 

[oopswronglife]

It makes me really sad.... I remember being treated like shit when I was hospitalized in a psych ward. It was a nightmare and it is so traumatizing.

I want her to know what she did to me...and to fix it. But that's not going to happen. At best I will get a forced apology like when you make a kid say they are sorry. Realistically nothing will happen and I will be seen as a troublesome patient. This woman put me from the low level of misery most of us know well, to just wanting to get it over with. I didn't have to feel this bad today. She did this to me and I am helpless to do anything to change it. I'm just so deeply upset...and didn't need to be. Who treats people like that and can live with themselves? I don't know how it doesn't eat them up. Instead it eats us up.

 

[HGL91]

I want her to know what she did to me...and to fix it. But that's not going to happen. At best I will get a forced apology like when you make a kid say they are sorry. Realistically nothing will happen and I will be seen as a troublesome patient. This woman put me from the low level of misery most of us know well, to just wanting to get it over with. I didn't have to feel this bad today. She did this to me and I am helpless to do anything to change it. I'm just so deeply upset...and didn't need to be. Who treats people like that and can live with themselves? I don't know how it doesn't eat them up. Instead it eats us up.

Sorry you've had his experience. I worked as a CNA and started Nursing School and didn't finish, but my mom and aunt are retired nurses...and yeah, unfortunately, "Nurse Burn-Out" is a real thing:

12 hour shifts 3 days a week or 10 hour shifts/5 days a week on your feet with a 5 minute meal break, no time to use the bathroom, forced overtime because charting patient info takes 2 hours, constantly dealing with patients who are complaining about their pain, doctors being condescending, nurses bullying each other...it's a really crappy environment. I'm really glad I didn't go into Nursing or I probably would have become a beeotch too.

My mom was a really good nurse. I went to her work a lot as a kid and she went above and beyond for her patients, other nurses' patients, and training new nurses. However, then I was the one to get the screaming and abuse when she got home -.-

Sorry you had to deal with a Nurse that had burnout :/

 

[Conflicted Cat]

Jesus fucking christ... I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope at least some justice can be served.

 

[Jen0804]

I'm a CNA too and I would take this to the practice manager

 

[oopswronglife]

I'm a CNA too and I would take this to the practice manager

I tried but she was "not available". I got the run around with everyone I asked. I called and got voicemail. They make it hard to do anything. This woman wasn't even a CNA...she was an MA which I am sure you know is a secretary who can take a blood pressure. They have no clinical training and are not healthcare providers even though they call themselves "nurses", but they have so much power at this place and act like they are in charge. One of them was really sweet and was cowed by this woman so I am not ragging on the position in general. I couldn't sleep last night between pain and stress because of this and today is already ruined as well as I knew would happen.

 

[justanotherday]

I am completely drained. I used up a week's worth of energy in a few hours because of a horrible person. My pretty decent doctor moved so I was seeing a new one today to get established. He wasn't quite as helpful as I had hoped but not the worst so I was going to give it a chance. Enter his nurse who ruined all of that and ruined the day and possibly my treatment future there. She clearly had some massive bias against me and people with my issues. She was abusive and insulting and even made a threat or two. I don't know her. She doesn't know me. I tried to ask her why she was acting that way but that just fueled her and she became more manic and nasty. You know those situations where you cannot win no matter what you do or don't do? Where everything you say, no matter how calm or polite, is used against you as some "evidence" of some predecided notion? It was that. It reminds me of videos of police shouting at someone to GET OUT OF THE CAR and also STOP MOVING where they shoot you next. Can't win.

Of course nobody would intervene or back me up even though they obvously felt uncomfortable with her behavior.They wouldn't rock the boat and just looked at their feet. I asked to speak to an administrator who wasn't "available." There really isn't anywhere else to go, and asking to change to a new service will just take this incident along with it in the records as some proof I am somehow wrong. I used to get so upset and tense when these kinds of things happened, now I am just exhausted and can only "cry on the inside" while my heart rate stays the same like it can't be bothered.

I am so tired of people. 99% are shit and are so selfish and ego driven. No admissions of fault when wrong. No apologies. No empathy. The 1% left are pretty great but its not enough and you can't choose where and when they are. It was shaping up to be at least a survivable weekend but now I am just wiped out and miserable and cannot even TRY to address this until Monday.

I can totally relate. I just had a nurse practitioner have a totally nasty attitude with me not long ago. I usually get along with doctors and nurses o.k., but for whatever reason this woman decided she doesn't like me. I have a very hard time trying to take any kind of medication. I cannot tolerate most of them, and sure enough, every single antidepressant she prescribed made me feel even worse, so I had to stop taking them. She got beyond just being frustrated with me. She was very insulting and unprofessional. I do not like confrontation and I realize she has the problem,not me. So, I simply will find someone else to go to.
Believe me, part of me would like to give her a piece of my mind and tell her to "F off", but I know she would just that against me .

I can totally relate. I just had a nurse practitioner have a totally nasty attitude with me not long ago. I usually get along with doctors and nurses o.k., but for whatever reason this woman decided she doesn't like me. I have a very hard time trying to take any kind of medication. I cannot tolerate most of them, and sure enough, every single antidepressant she prescribed made me feel even worse, so I had to stop taking them. She got beyond just being frustrated with me. She was very insulting and unprofessional. I do not like confrontation and I realize she has the problem,not me. So, I simply will find someone else to go to.
Believe me, part of me would like to give her a piece of my mind and tell her to "F off", but I know she would just that against me .

She would just use that against me if I did.
Sorry, I am having some technical difficulty today on here. I did not mean to post twice.

 

[will77]

It really sucks trying to find them but there are good medical practitioners out there. Just takes a lot of work to find them.

It took a while but I found a really good doctor who clicks with me.

 

[not_a_robot]

I will try but it's never made any difference and the well is already poisoned. I will have this added as some negative reputation on my side. This sort of thing isn't uncommon and I have NEVER had any positive resolution. Just form letter apologies or "commitments to excellence" crap. People don't choose to do the right thing, and systems are only interested in protecting the system itself. Patients are necessary evils to get paid. I know it sounds whiny but I am exhausted with it and experience has been a cruel teacher.

Sometimes the ombudsman can make them shit their pants. Sometimes the ombudsman is their brother.

Yeesh.
Not sure who you could report her to, in that case. Most MAs aren't licensed. You may actually get somewhere reporting her to her administrator, in that case.

I don't mean to sound like I love snitching. I just hate when medical staff abuse patients.

Ombudsman.