Venting Just empty

[erdbeeren]

Don't really have much energy to go into detail or even post.

Nothing to live for, but nothing that's really all that bad. No friends or hobbies. No happiness or even sadness and anger. I'm just numb. Unable to connect with others. I'm overweight from my meds though I'd probably be unattractive (according to mainstream western standards) either way.

Really I'm just waiting to get the means of ending my life and doing it probably with little hesitation.

 

[FuneralCry]

My life has always been very empty as well. I know it can be very depressing. All that I am doing is waiting around for death, there is nothing that would make me want to stay here. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[bloodfallsfirst]

No one understands when I explain that I'm numb. Thank you for putting yourself out there. I want to ctb, too. Best of luck in all things.

 

[Intelligent_Panic99]

I'm numb too. Probably from all the meds my psychiatrist has me on. Just waiting for my SN to arrive and I'll stop taking them because it will drive me into an impulsive mania, which frankly feels amazing.

 

[Gordy99]

I too am numb from my medications. In the beginning I thought it was great but after two years it stinks. I show very little emotion and most times fake it towards other people to appear normal. Deep down I am empty and nothing can fill that hole.

 

[freedompass]

Totally relate to OP and all the commenters. I desire nothing this world has to offer. Been on psych meds for bipolar for 3 decades. 'They' don't typically understand someone without dreams, goals or interests. I'm pretty much a shambling zombie at this point, 'undead'. Basic needs are taken care of but mentally and emotionally I checked out years ago. Just marking time.

 

[Sakura94]

I'm not on any meds. Feel the same way. This forum convinces me meds don't work or they do for a while and the brain gets used to them.

 

[someonelse]

I feel the same way. I've been on bipolar meds for years and antidepressants before they took me off them because they think they cause me to go manic. I have nothing to look forward to and just feel empty. The thought of sleeping and never waking up is all I look forward to. I wish you the best of luck in whatever happens. May we all find peace.