I am beyond the red line at this point. "All a man has is his word." I believed this to my core, and lived by it my entire life. My story is probably not different from most folks who have decided to CTB. A bit about me: I am 37 years old, live in the US, was adopted. The DMS IV would classify me as being Autistic, as they have combined Asperger's into Autism. My adoptive dad was physically abusive. If you were to ever see me naked you would see the scars from cigarette burns, and where he stabbed me. The most egregious leftover is a permanent disability that I have with my eyes after he beat me with a golf club until I was unconscious in a puddle of blood in the garage. I have an abnormally high IQ. I left high school at 16, and went to UNI. Graduated at 22 with a double major in Political Science/Public Administration with a minor in Economics. I took the 5th year so I could legally drink with friends. My life at UNI was remarkable. I was a volunteer in the lower 9th ward of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina for 6 months, volunteered with a non-profit that helped terminally ill children, and advocated for students' in my state at the local/state/federal level. I have met two Governors', Four US Senators, more members of Congress than I can remember, and two Presidents.
I did all of this before the age of 23.
In October of 2021, I had an idea to build a business. An idea without funding is just an idea. So, I reached out to people who I thought I could trust with an idea and build a business model. Things were going well, or so I thought. Until, over a contractual dispute one business partner decided they wanted to cut me out. The second business partner was silent. I had expected more out of the second as we were close, but at the end of the day what does close really mean? On a base level I understand self-preservation beyond all else, but this was not a case of that. I did not ask her to stick her neck out, or put herself at risk. She simply decided not to weigh in on the disagreement.
For years I have suffered with depression, and suicidal ideation. I wanted to give the second business partner the opportunity to see me one last time, so that I could give her items that were of meaning to us. Yes, us, as we have a complicated relationship between: friends/lovers/co-workers/business partners. From her texts this afternoon that is no longer an option.
UPS tried to deliver my order of SN today, but it required a signature. They say they will be back tomorrow to try again. I will be here to answer that bell. I will prepare my last meal on Saturday and consume it at noon or shortly thereafter. I will fast for at least 10 hours into Sunday, mix my drinks, and accept my fate.
I did all of this before the age of 23.
In October of 2021, I had an idea to build a business. An idea without funding is just an idea. So, I reached out to people who I thought I could trust with an idea and build a business model. Things were going well, or so I thought. Until, over a contractual dispute one business partner decided they wanted to cut me out. The second business partner was silent. I had expected more out of the second as we were close, but at the end of the day what does close really mean? On a base level I understand self-preservation beyond all else, but this was not a case of that. I did not ask her to stick her neck out, or put herself at risk. She simply decided not to weigh in on the disagreement.
For years I have suffered with depression, and suicidal ideation. I wanted to give the second business partner the opportunity to see me one last time, so that I could give her items that were of meaning to us. Yes, us, as we have a complicated relationship between: friends/lovers/co-workers/business partners. From her texts this afternoon that is no longer an option.
UPS tried to deliver my order of SN today, but it required a signature. They say they will be back tomorrow to try again. I will be here to answer that bell. I will prepare my last meal on Saturday and consume it at noon or shortly thereafter. I will fast for at least 10 hours into Sunday, mix my drinks, and accept my fate.
