Venting Just bought SN

[Phosphophyllite]

Initially, SI was making me hesitant, but then I thought about why I wanted to commit suicide in the first place. So I closed my eyes, and the years of trauma suddenly came flowing back. In that moment, I immediately felt confident about my decision.

I know life has good parts to it, and if the horrible things that happened to me NEVER happened, I'd absolutely want to live to enjoy the goodness. That's why a few months ago, I thought I could move on from my past and improve my life, so I could enjoy life's good parts and be happy. And of course, I just had to be retraumatized soon after that. I genuinely had hopes and dreams, like showing my art to the world, but I give up. I just keep falling deeper and deeper into despair no matter what I do. It's as if the universe fucking hates me for merely existing. I've dealt with so much shit at such a young age that I've become so alienated and bitter and unhinged. I can't enjoy most things anymore and I don't know who I am at this point. Even if I recover, my traumas will haunt me for the rest of my life and there's the possibility another trauma could happen.

I'm tired of mental illness, trauma, health problems, poverty, loneliness, and people. I don't want to be here anymore, I just want to go home and sleep.

 

[Georgiana Darcy]

Initially, SI was making me hesitant, but then I thought about why I wanted to commit suicide in the first place. So I closed my eyes, and the years of trauma suddenly came flowing back. In that moment, I immediately felt confident about my decision.

I know life has good parts to it, and if the horrible things that happened to me NEVER happened, I'd absolutely want to live to enjoy the goodness. That's why a few months ago, I thought I could move on from my past and improve my life, so I could enjoy life's good parts and be happy. And of course, I just had to be retraumatized soon after that. I genuinely had hopes and dreams, like showing my art to the world, but I give up. I just keep falling deeper and deeper into despair no matter what I do. It's as if the universe fucking hates me for merely existing. I've dealt with so much shit at such a young age that I've become so alienated and bitter and unhinged. I can't enjoy most things anymore and I don't know who I am at this point. Even if I recover, my traumas will haunt me for the rest of my life and there's the possibility another trauma could happen.

I'm tired of mental illness, trauma, health problems, poverty, loneliness, and people. I don't want to be here anymore, I just want to go home and sleep.

I hear you. I feel just the same.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life really can be cruel, I'm sorry you are suffering. I can relate in feeling like I am tired of it all and I just want to sleep. I wish you peace if your decision is to leave this world.