makethepainstop
Visionary
- Sep 16, 2022
- 2,032
I'm really about there for getting my bus ticket. I just don't think I can take any more. I'm seriously considering forgetting about those two pounds of SN I bought, and reaching for my 45 cal derringer. I'm starting today feel like going right NOW! I want to shave, get cleaned up, walk out in front of my car, whip out the 45 and pop goes the weasel. I just cant continue to survive without my marine boyfriend, working a job I despise....and having my mooching, mentally ill retarded idiot sister and niece, lay around in bed all day. They have shit stacked up all over my living room, so you can't even find a place to sit and watch TV. Every square inch of my counter tops and dining room able are covered with their possessions. You can't even sit at my dr table. They don't work, they don't work in the yard, they do nothing in the way of house cleaning. My mentally ill half sister screams constantly about everything. (Just like her dad, my step dad when I was I kid). Her dad made my childhood terror filled and she is a screaming banshee just like him. She has fucked up my finances phenomenally, and ran off my combat hardened boyfriend,not once but twice. I had a severe medical issue last year, and stupidly put her name on my house in case I died. Now if I lay into her I could be evicted from my own house. I have no where to go and no one to help. Please don't any of you religious types tell me to pray. I have been praying for decades for God to either grant me money or death. Neither has yet occurred. Perhaps your God wants me to take action and stop asking him to do something, and just do it myself. If God is there I hope he will forgive me, but I can't continue to live with these mentally ill, lazy, family members who have the intelligence of profoundly retarded apes. Much love for all here, thank you all for allowing to be heard. I
Got into it with her about everything. From her bitching about my boyfriend to her bitching about me smoking. God I still need to ctb, but no longer immediately. Time to stand down, and allow logic to intervene. Almost went out incandescent with anger. Now time for me to continue my count down to ctb. Whew that was a close one. Started when her damn chihuahua dog tried to bite me for the millionth time. I picked up a piece of molding, and tried to take its head off. He is unfortunately too fast for me to get him. That was it we have had a screaming match like that in years. Sorry if I alarmed anyone here. I can tell you this was the real deal. When I ctb, getting away from her will be a very big part of it. How are there people in families that just expect anyone related to them to take care of them. They expect everyone else to work but them. I explained to the tard that for me to continue to work a job I hate, and pay the utility bills I have to have a boyfriend. She then starts screaming about my bf she ran off x2, then screaming about me smoking after my heart attack 4 years ago. I told her I started smoking again because you all are constantly aggervating the hell out of me. Then she starts yelling me to make sure I get a boyfriend that has a job. So I asked her when are you gonna get a job, you don't have one. (For the last three years she has sat on her ass). Then here come all of her excuses as to why she can't get a job. Next she starts yelling at me to get a bf that doesn't drink, smoke.....like her husband?! WTF her husband is a nice guy, but I like dudes people would call bad asses (military, biker types,.....). So now the darling little retard wants to tell ME, what kind of man I should get? I'd love to know what species of mental illness this little bitch has. Now that takes some kind of nerve to tell someone who to love. Her husband in whispered tones told me this was what he was putting up with when they lived together. He was speaking about her having shit stacked all over the house,and her screaming fits. Then he tells me that her tendency to avoid working a job at all costs was what keeps he and my nephew broke, paying for her and my non working bum ass niece. I flat layed into that hitch, I told her you cannot watch a movie as every piece of furniture in the living room has her shit piled up on it. Ditto the dining room table, and the counters are stacked up with crap. But I was able to restrain my self from mentioning my ctb planning. Remember what I quote from the X-FILES "Trust no one!" So now I'm gonna try to cool off, and resume my plans to get my pre need cremation plans and my SN ctb plans going. Thanks for listening, sometimes bring able to speak freely is better than the best anti depressants. Much love to all here, today SS saved a life for jut a little bit longer.
She seems to have a sense of entitlement, is good at manipulating & displays coercive behaviour. Try not to let her get inside your head....very easy to say, I know. 
